- Welcome
- A Change is gonna come, by vickysg1
- A Little Bit of History Repeating, by Cutebunny43
- A Vacation on Shadow, by Mizzy2k
- A Vampire Apocalypse in Four Parts, by Grav_ity
- Anathema, by kungfuawynewho
- Before the Storm, by Alley Skywalker
- Between the Shadow and the Soul, by Cinaed
- Blighted by Sin, by Lullabymoon
- Broken Bird, by meekosan & toomuchfandom
- Carnivorus Plantae Mobilis, by roeskva
- Collide, by bluelilyrose
- Dead, But Not Forgotten, by fringedweller
- Discovery, by Danakate
- East of Albuquerque, by Eldanna
- Finding Family, by Heartundone
- First Amendment, by xakliaaeryn
- From the Last to the First, by Hiddencait
- Graven with Diamonds in Letters Plain, by AngelQueen04
- Hanging By A Gossamer Thread, by red_b_rackham
- He Always Gets What He Wants, by Sirenofodysseus
- Home, by Anr
- House of Heretics, by Slumber
- In Oculis Mentis, by Adrenalin211
- Jump in the Line, by Rinkafic
- Life is a Road, by scoobydumblonde
- Living on the Edge, by Traycer
- Love in Search of a Word, by Mzmtiger
- Maid of Honor, by TaleWeaver
- Melting the Ice Queen, by Tanya Reed
- Neither Duty Nor Honour, by buckbeakbabie
- New Hosts, by Hathor_Girl
- Not in Kansas Anymore, by Gelbes_Gilatier
- Now and Then, by ShirleyAnn66
- On the Nature of Daylight, by failegaidin
- Our Old World is Hard to Find, by lucklessforhim
- Pirates of the Caribbean: Sirens, by Lupinskitten
- Rearview Mirror, by ndnickerson
- Rowing in Eden, by Ancarett
- Saved by Grace, Badboy_Fangirl
- Somebody's Hero, by sadwal1538
- Someone Borrowed, by always_a_queen
- Stranger Than Fiction, by Lanna-kitty
- Take Off Your Kid Gloves, by Seren_ccd
- Taking Charge, by h_loquacious
- Taking the long way around, by isdon_isgood9
- Taming the Rider, by YappiChick
- The Ancient History of Solaris, by Sache8
- The Golden Lotus, by Rise Your Dead
- The Law of Tangents, by htbthomas
- The Lies You Live, by Alyse
- The Past is Prologue, by Lit_Chick08
- The Salt Skin, by Hariboo_Smirks
- The Story Of Us, by Shafeferi
- The Tension and the Spark, by lonelywalker
- The Veil That Keeps Me Blind, by Spyglass_
- What If You Catch Me, Where Would We Land, by leigh57
- Winter's Heart, by Rawles
- Yggdrasill Dreaming, by Mekosuchinae
- Dragonsinger - We Want to Live Like Trees Artwork
- Janus_74 - Out of the Dark Artwork
- Lormats - Trouble in Paradise Artwork
- Mizzy2k - The Bad Blood Artwork
- Nicky Gabriel - Happily Chaotic Artwork
- PPanic - The Gentle Princess Artwork
- SGMajorShipper - Time Enough at Last Artwork
- Slr2Moons - Fear the Night Artwork
- TheRisingMoon - Your Hands Artwork
- Site Info
Title: On the Nature of Daylight
Author(s): failegaidin
Fandom(s): Stargate: Atlantis
Pairing(s): John Sheppard/Elizabeth Weir, Evan Lorne/Laura Cadman, Ronon Dex/Teyla Emmagan
Word Count: 32,697
Rating/Warnings: M; graphic sex, violence, dub-con (aliens made them do it)
Beta: citymusings (whole thing), borg_princess (sections)
Summary: When Elizabeth, Teyla and Laura are given a "gift" from one of their allies, they are left in an impossible situation. Have sex or die is harsh even for the Pegasus Galaxy, but the men who love them won't let them die. Even if they're not ready to admit how they feel.
Author's notes: I still can’t believe I finished this. Huge thanks to citymusings and borg_princess for the hand-holding, cheerleading and general getting me through it-ness. None of the SGA characters belong to me.
~~~~
She could feel him scowling at her, but she focused on getting her vest on. John never liked it when she decided to come on a mission with his team, and he was more than vocal on the subject. She knew that he preferred to have her safe in Atlantis - anything could happen when they went off-world - but that didn't change the fact that this was a part of her job. Their enemies in the Pegasus galaxy were steadily growing in numbers, and that meant that they needed allies desperately. Teyla could be relied upon to make friends with locals, but there were times when Elizabeth herself needed to meet with them and speak with the leaders.
John knew all that, and understood it. That didn't make him feel any better about her going off-world.
"I'm going to start taking this personally, John."
Her words startled him out of his thoughts, and he frowned at her. "What?"
"You don't want me to join your team. That could hurt a girl's feelings."
He gave her a flat look. "You know that's not what this is about."
Elizabeth gave him a small smile. "The Torvaris have been nothing but friendly towards us. You said it yourself, numerous times."
"Well, yeah. They're alright. For a bunch of girls."
She rolled her eyes. "So you object to a culture that gives leadership positions to women?"
He was on dangerous territory now, and he knew it. "That's not what I said."
"They just make you uneasy?"
John shrugged, turning towards the jumper. "You being out in the open makes me uneasy."
It wasn't often that he voiced his feelings, and Elizabeth knew how much it cost him to say that. He had proven time and again that her safety was painfully important to him. There were nights when she revisited the Genii attack in her dreams - she could still see John's face and hear the deadly threat in his voice just before he shot Kolya. She would never question how far he would go to keep her safe. He had already proven it.
Stepping forward, she rested a gentle hand on his arm. "We'll be fine. This is just a diplomatic mission."
"You know, Rodney did the math once. Of how many missions go wrong when you come with us."
Her eyebrows shot up. "Oh?"
"The odds aren't exactly in your favor."
She was tempted to stick her tongue out at him, but she settled for narrowing her eyes instead. "Very funny, Colonel."
John's face was the picture of innocence. "Wasn't joking, Doctor. The math doesn't lie."
"Are you two ready yet?" Rodney asked, standing in the back of the jumper. "I'd rather get this over with."
"I take it Rodney didn't enjoy the Torvaris either?" Elizabeth asked.
John smirked. "You've seen how he gets with one hot woman. There were dozens."
"Yes, yes, I'm sure it was very amusing to you, Captain Kirk," Rodney shot back.
Elizabeth shared a smile with Teyla as she stepped into the jumper. "Gentlemen."
John knew that tone, and he took his seat in front of the controls. "Right. Let's get on this show the road."
~~~~
Despite the reports of John's team, Elizabeth couldn't help but expect something like the Amazons when they arrived on Torvari. They had come across numerous cultures in the Pegasus galaxy, but there were very few that supported a matriarchal society, and she couldn't hide the fact that her interest was piqued. Before they were cut off from Earth, she spent most of her days sending reports back to her male superiors, and working against the bias that women couldn't lead effectively. She knew that John and Rodney - and most of the men on the expedition, for that matter - trusted her to do her job, but she had spent too many years as the only girl on the team. It had become second nature.
The Torvaris were not the most technologically advanced of the societies the Atlantis expedition had come across. They reminded Elizabeth a great deal of the Athosians, though the leaders were of course all women. The delegation sent to meet them at the gate was warm and polite, and she found herself relaxing just a bit.
"Colonel Sheppard," a tall brunette greeted, inclining her head. "We are pleased to see you again so soon."
John returned the gesture, and Elizabeth was reminded that he could hold his own in negotiations when the situation called for it. "Sulara. I'd like to introduce you to Doctor Elizabeth Weir."
Sulara inclined her head again, although more deeply this time. "Dr. Weir. It is truly a pleasure to meet you. I cannot tell you how happy we were to find another people led by a strong woman."
Elizabeth's smile was genuine as she copied the woman. "I have to admit that I've found it a rarity in my travels. I'm very interested to see your culture first hand and to see what we can learn from one another."
"Then we will have a most enjoyable time." Sulara turned her attention to the rest of the group. "Teyla."
"Sulara. You look well."
"I am, thank you." Her eyes moved over the rest of the group - there was an obviously appreciative look as she glanced at Ronon - until they settled on the only other woman traveling with them. "I do not believe we've met."
It was plain to see that Laura Cadman hadn't expected to be singled out, but Elizabeth was impressed with the young Marine's ability to put on a polite smile.
"Lieutenant Laura Cadman," she introduced herself, bowing her head slightly. "It's a pleasure to meet you, ma'am."
"You are dressed like Colonel Sheppard - are you a warrior of your people?"
"I am."
Sulara looked impressed. "I am most definitely looking forward to get to know you and your culture, then. Female warriors are even more rare in our encounters with others." She spread her hands wide. "Welcome, all of you. We have arranged accomodations for you. I'm sure you would like to get cleaned up before the evening meal."
"That sounds wonderful," Elizabeth replied.
As they followed Sulara away from the Stargate, Elizabeth gave her people a closer look. The women of the planet obviously unsettled John, Ronon and Rodney. Major Lorne looked about warily, but managed to keep a pleasantly blank look on his face as well.
Carson seemed very excited.
"This is quite a change," he said, walking next to her. "It seems that more often than not, we spend our time off-world getting shot at or running through the forest."
Elizabeth smirked, her eyes sliding over to her second-in-command. "Well, John is usually in charge."
He gave her a hurt look and opened his mouth to respond, but Sulara looked over her shoulder at them.
"We have found the same problem whenever we let our men be in charge of the smallest things. It's easier to just leave them out of the equation altogether, isn't it?"
Elizabeth grinned wickedly. "You might be onto something there, Sulara."
~~~~
The rooms that Sulara had provided them with were lavish - thick, colorful tapestries and drapes hung along the walls, giving everything a warm glow. Though there was none of the technology that they were used to on Atlantis, there was a lot of emphasis placed on comfort, and Elizabeth could appreciate that.
The men were not quite as thrilled. Sulara explained that the men of their village resided in separate dwellings, and that John and the others would need to make their way there. The temperature in the room had dropped several degrees at that point, and John had informed Sulara as politely as he could that he was in charge of protecting Elizabeth, and that he wasn't going anywhere. Fearing that the situation could quickly deteriorate, Elizabeth placed a calming hand on his arm and smiled at Sulara.
"We prefer to keep them close by, if that's acceptable to you."
There was something in the other woman's eyes that Elizabeth thought might be amusement, and she nodded.
"Of course. Would you prefer Colonel Sheppard to stay here with you?"
"I like that idea," John said quickly.
Elizabeth only barely refrained from rolling her eyes at him. "That would be fine, Sulara. Thank you."
"Of course. We like to respect the practices and wishes of our guests." Her eyes ran up and down John's body. "And he is not unpleasant. I can understand your attachment." Before Elizabeth could respond, the brunette had turned to the other two women in their party. "Would you also prefer to be paired in rooms?"
"I'll stay with Teyla," Ronon offered quietly, his voice brooking no arguments.
Lorne did a quick calculation as he took in the remaining men. "Cadman and I will stay together." When Laura's shoulders stiffened, he hurried to explain. "It's either that or one of us stuck with McKay."
Rodney frowned. "Hey -"
Laura was already smirking. "Alright, flyboy. I'll save your butt this time."
Sulara looked at her with a straight face. "Your Major Lorne is quite anatomically pleasing. A wise decision."
There were choking sounds from Rodney, but Laura managed to incline her head slightly. "Thank you, ma'am."
Sulara turned back to Elizabeth. "I would like to meet with you for tea," she said. "So that we may speak as leaders. If, of course, that's acceptable to you."
"I would like that very much."
"Good. I will send one of my aides for you shortly." She smiled again at Teyla and Cadman. "Please, make yourselves comfortable. Our evening meal isn't too far off, and I know that you have come a long way."
With a final inclination of her head, the leader of the Torvaris turned and left the room. No one said anything until the door had firmly shut behind her, and even then, it took a few moments for someone to break the silence.
"Lovely lady," Carson said finally. "She may very well be the most polite leader we've encountered." He smiled at Teyla. "Excepting you, of course, my dear."
"What are you talking about?" Rodney exclaimed. "They're insane!"
"They're different," Ronon admitted. "But they don't seem to be a threat."
"And they are very accommodating," Teyla continued. "Not every culture treats its guests so well. I think we should be grateful and look at this as an opportunity to make friends."
"That's all well and good," John interrupted. "But I do have a question." He looked at the three women facing him. "And I'd rather not get smacked for asking it."
Elizabeth smirked. "We'll do our best to control ourselves."
"Right." He didn't look entirely convinced, but he continued anyway. "Typically speaking, men are...physically...stronger than women, right?"
Though Cadman grimaced, she nodded. "Yeah. It's pretty much biological."
"Okay. So...how are these women keeping the men out of the 'ruling class'? I mean...you would think the men would just rise up and..." He floundered.
"Take what they want?" Elizabeth finished for him.
He at least had the common sense to look a little ashamed. "Well...yeah. Kind of."
It was Teyla who answered, shrugging. "Perhaps they do not want to. Remember, we came across a group of children who believed that they had to die at a certain age to keep the Wraith away. They went to their deaths willingly. I am not saying that it is the same situation here, and I cannot speak to the men's state of mind, since we have not yet met them. But perhaps this way of life works for them. If it is all they have ever known, and they have never had a reason to change it..." She trailed off.
"So they haven't advanced enough to change?" Rodney asked.
Everyone turned to look at him - the men with surprise and chagrin at his big mouth, and the women with thinly veiled skepticism.
"Because it's only uncivilized people who think women can be in charge, Rodney?" Elizabeth asked.
Her tone was practically frigid, and even Rodney could tell that he had just fallen through the thin ice.
"There is no possible way for me to backtrack out of this safely, is there?"
Cadman shook her head. "Not likely."
~~~~
The tea with Sulara lasted almost an hour, and John was relieved when Elizabeth came back to their room. He was fairly certain that the Torvaris were friendly and they had shown them nothing but kindness, but he always felt a certain unease when Elizabeth was off-world and out of his sight. There were so many unknowns in this galaxy, and they had all had more close calls than he liked to remember. He couldn't put it into words - and quite honestly, he wasn't sure that he wanted to - but he had a desperate need to keep Elizabeth safe. As long as she was okay, he could breathe a little easier and get the job done.
"Have a nice tea?" he asked as she walked in.
"It was quite pleasant, actually," she replied. "Sulara is quite impressed with how much equality our women have. Even with the biases and unfairness that women face on Earth, I got the feeling that most of the cultures the Torvaris come in contact with are far worse."
John gave her an injured look. "We're not that bad, are we?"
She let out a little laugh, squeezing his arm as she passed by him on the way to the bathroom. "You're one of the good ones, John."
He was grinning like an idiot when she shut the door.
~~~~
After dinner, Teyla and Laura were each invited to their own private tea with Sulara as well. Elizabeth couldn't have been happier with how the visit was going. Their hosts were kind and welcoming, and so far they hadn't had any major culture clashes. The men were still uncomfortable, but the evening meal at least went a little way toward setting them at ease.
Until they sat down, they hadn't actually seen any of the male population, and none of them were entirely sure of what to expect. But when they came into the main hall, they were just like their female counterparts - warm and polite. Most of them moved toward their families, some kissing their wives as they sat. Many were fathers, and they greeted their children with obvious love. They weren't treated as slaves or as a lesser class. The gender roles were simply flipped from the way the Atlantis expedition were used to.
They stayed up late into the night. Ronon struck up a conversation with a large man sitting nearby who happened to be an iron forger. Rodney and Lorne didn't look particularly comfortable, but Carson was certainly mingling, enjoying his chance to experience a different culture without bullets and blood. Elizabeth watched them all with a smile, thankful that they were having a successful mission.
By the time she and John were back in their room, the night was more than half gone. She was tired, but content, and she smiled at John as she turned down the bed.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
She paused, giving him a confused look. "Absolutely nothing. Why?"
"You were humming."
"Was I?" She hadn't even noticed, but she just shrugged. "And is that such a bad thing?"
"No. It's just...strange, is all."
Elizabeth thought about it for a moment. "I feel strange."
John stood up straighter at that, frowning at her. "Strange how?"
She shrugged again. "I'm not really sure." Laughing quietly, she walked over and laid her hand on his arm, feeling the tense muscles underneath. "Stop worrying, John. Nothing is wrong. It was a good night. Even you have to admit that."
He nodded slowly, still watching her with wary eyes. "I guess." She didn't turn away, or take her hand from his arm, and suddenly the room felt noticeably warmer. Swallowing hard, he turned his head, gesturing to the floor. "If you'll just toss me a pillow..."
"Don't be ridiculous, John. It's a big bed."
He stared at her, unsure of what he was hearing. "You mean..."
She shrugged, turning and moving toward her bag. "You stay on your side, and I'll stay on mine." She smiled at him over her shoulder. "We're both adults."
And it was most definitely adult-rated thoughts he was trying to beat back. This was Elizabeth, though, and he wasn't stupid or careless enough to play with that line. "Thanks."
She nodded, disappearing behind the curtain that separated their washroom from the sleeping area. John stood in the middle of the room, still unsure of what exactly was going on. He believed her that nothing was wrong, but he wasn't used to her being so open and touchy, either. He wondered if there had been something in that wine they had been served at dinner, or if she had had more than he realized. Sighing, he mentally slapped himself upside the head and tried to snap out of it. He moved over to his own bags, intent on getting changed before she came back out. He paused in the act though, when a sound reached his ears.
Elizabeth was humming again.
Almost growling under his breath, John wondered how such an innocent sound could throw him for such a loop.
~~~~
He barely slept that night. The never-ending thoughts in his head were bad enough, but Elizabeth wasn't helping. No matter how many times he rolled away, she always seemed to be right there with him, the heat from her body palpable. She didn't do anything inappropriate, but their bodies were always a breath away from touching, and John found himself wondering if Elizabeth was a snuggler.
Of course, there were some other things it left him wondering as well, and those thoughts were even less safe.
He must have dropped off somewhere in the hours just after midnight, because the next thing he knew, the sun was streaming in. He rolled over, momentarily forgetting that he was sharing the bed, and he frowned when he realized that he was alone.
Well, not totally alone.
“It's about time,” McKay said, sitting on the hand-carved trunk that sat against the foot of the bed. “I thought you were going to sleep all day.”
John looked around, still trying to get his bearings. “Where's Elizabeth?”
“Sulara wanted to meet with her and Teyla and Cadman one more time before we left.” He paused. “I don't get her interest in Cadman at all.”
“She's a female warrior, Rodney. And in case you haven't noticed, these ladies like other strong woman.”
“She's a soldier. Not exactly a novelty.”
“Not for us, no. But we haven't met many other cultures that let their women fight. Or rule,” he added.
“Don't, uh...don't tell Elizabeth, but...sometimes I'm really glad that we're cut off from Earth.”
The switch made John blink as his brain struggled to catch up. “What?”
Rodney shrugged. “Don't get me wrong. I miss the coffee. And the backup when we get into fights with the Wraith, but...” He paused again, obviously trying to get a handle on his words. “If they can't get to us, they can't ever replace her. And I like Elizabeth in charge,” he added quietly.
John thought about that for a moment. “You really think they would? Take the position from her?”
“The military isn't exactly thrilled that she's in charge.”
“Atlantis would lose a lot, though. If it lost her.”
“Well it's not like she's the brains of the operation,” Rodney said, suddenly backtracking.
He rolled his eyes. “She's the heart, McKay, and you know that. Besides – who else would keep us out of trouble?”
“That's true. You'd probably be dead by now.”
“Or in the brig.”
“Maybe even both.”
“Are you two just gonna sit in here all day? They're serving breakfast.”
Rodney was up in a heartbeat, and John wasn't far behind him. “You let them start? Why didn't you come get me?”
Ronon looked at him like he was an idiot. “Because I thought these people deserved a chance to eat their own food before you descended like a vulture.”
Rodney frowned at him, muttering as he pushed past. John and Ronon just shared an amused smile.
“You coming?” Ronon asked.
John nodded. “Yeah, I'll be right out.”
~~~~
Rodney sighed. "Where are they?"
"Relax, McKay," Lorne replied, leaning against the jumper. "Sulara just wanted to say goodbye to them."
"We already had our goodbyes."
"Those were the official ones. Apparently she took a liking to our three women and wanted to have a private moment with them."
Rodney turned to John. "And you let them? Weren't you all gung-ho on not letting Elizabeth out of your sight?"
John sighed. "Elizabeth asked me to not put up a fight."
"And you've started to listen to Elizabeth since when?"
He gave the scientist a hard glare. "I always listen to Elizabeth." He shifted uncomfortably. "I don't always do what she tells me to," he added quietly, "but I always listen."
"So why did you obey her this time?"
He shrugged. "She asked nicely."
Throwing his hands up into the air, Rodney spun and walked away, giving up on the both of them.
It was another twenty-three minutes before the women joined them. None of them looked as happy as they had when they went in. Cadman was actually pressing a hand to her stomach and looking as though she was going to be sick. John, Lorne and Ronon immediately stood up straighter, and Carson stepped forward.
"Are you alright, Laura?"
She looked up, eyes focusing on him as though she hadn't realized he was there. A second later, she shook her head and dropped her hand, putting on a stoic expression.
"I'm fine, Carson. Let's get out of here."
John's eyes narrowed as he joined Elizabeth. "What's wrong?"
She gave a small shake of her head. "Not here."
Something deep inside of him knotted painfully at that. "'Lizabeth -"
Reaching out, she rested a hand on his arm, just like she had done the night before.
"Please, John," she said quietly. "Take us home."
He wanted to stand there and argue the point, but he couldn't ignore the pleading in her eyes. Swallowing down his questions and protests, he turned and gestured to the rest of his team.
"Let's move out."
~~~~
It was a tense trip home. Elizabeth pulled Carson aside at one point, and though he tried to listen in, John was unable to pick up a single word. He caught Teyla's eye once or twice, but each time she just gave him a tight smile, her expression not giving away anything except that she was uncomfortable.
The only one who didn't pick up on the tension in the jumper was McKay. He prattled on and on about his perceived imperfections of the society they had just left, which basically boiled down to the fact that he didn't feel important enough with the women running the show and not needing him.
No one listened.
~~~~
He was hoping that he would be able to talk with her once they landed back in Atlantis, but she didn't give him the chance. She disappeared quickly, and he was left with the task of unloading their things from the jumper and checking in with the men he had left in charge while they were gone. Even so, he stared off in the direction Elizabeth had rushed off to, seriously contemplating going after her until a large hand clapped his shoulder.
"C'mon, Sheppard," Ronon said, handing him a bag.
He sighed and got down to work.
~~~~
A knock on his office door ninety minutes later was a welcome reprieve. He was still unsure about whether or not he should be chasing Elizabeth down, but he couldn't shake the look in her eyes as they had left the planet. Something was definitely wrong and it bothered him that she wasn't willing to talk to him.
"Sir?"
He looked up to see Lorne standing in the doorway, looking uncomfortable. The major usually handled himself with confidence, and it was surprising to see him shifting his weight from foot to foot.
"What's up, Lorne?"
"I'm not sure if you know this, but...Dr. Weir, Teyla and Cadman are in the infirmary. They have been since we got back."
The knot that formed earlier tightened and he froze. "What?"
"They're all talking to the doc."
That didn't bode well. "Alright. Do you know where Ronon -"
"Right here, Sheppard," the big man said, coming to stand beside Lorne. "He found me first."
"They'll probably kick our asses for just barging in there, huh?" John asked.
Ronon shrugged. "You really gonna let that stop you?"
He shook his head. "No. Just stating a fact."
The paperwork on his desk already forgotten, he left the office with the other two right behind him. It was almost a five-minute walk to the infirmary and the pain in his stomach only got worse with each step. He knew the women hadn't looked right when they got into the jumper, and now they were talking to Carson and he was left with no clue as to what was going on.
The infirmary was empty except for one bed, which four people were clustered around. Cadman sat on the bed itself, with Teyla and Elizabeth standing on either side of her. None of them looked particularly good. Carson faced them, tablet in hand and a slightly panicked expression on his face. He caught sight of the men mid-sentence and rolled his eyes, letting out a tired sigh.
"Oh, dear God."
Elizabeth stood up a bit straighter, putting on her best leader face. "Can we help you gentlemen?"
"Yeah," John replied. "You can tell us what the hell is going on."
She opened her mouth to speak - probably to turn him down - but then her eyes caught his. He held her gaze, trying to tell her that he wasn't going anywhere until he knew that she was okay. The stare lasted for longer than it should have - long enough to make everyone else in the room uncomfortable - but eventually Elizabeth closed her eyes and let out long breath.
"Just tell them, Carson," she said, her voice weary and defeated.
"Are you sure?"
She nodded, and he turned to the other two. Teyla agreed with Elizabeth, and though it took her a few moments longer, Laura eventually nodded as well.
"It can't really make things worse," she muttered.
Nodding and taking a deep breath, Carson turned to face John, Lorne and Ronon. He could admit that he was afraid of their reactions, and maybe slightly terrified that they would shoot the messenger. Eyeing their weapons and taking a small step backwards, he squared his shoulders.
"It would seem that our three ladies here are with child."
That hadn't been what any of them was expecting. John looked downright baffled and he frowned, his forehead creasing. "Excuse me?"
"Please don't make me repeat it, Colonel."
"All three?" Lorne asked.
"Aye."
John turned his attention to the women, trying to ignore the pain that lanced through him at the idea of Elizabeth pregnant with somebody else's baby. "I didn't know any of you were...you know...seeing someone."
"We aren't," Elizabeth said firmly. "Any of us."
The ground slipped out from underneath him again. He placed his hands on his hips, desperately trying to get a hold on the situation.
"So...you're pregnant..."
Carson answered. "Aye. I just confirmed it with tests."
"And you're not seeing anyone..."
They all shook their heads.
"And you're not..." He floundered for a decent word, but wasn't sure there was one,"...sleeping...with anyone?"
They all shook their heads again.
"That would make three Virgin Marys," Lorne declared.
Ronon and Teyla looked confused at the reference, but Cadman just let out a hollow chuckle.
"Less virginal and more...inactive."
There was a tense moment of silence while everyone shifted uncomfortably and attempted to wrap their heads around what was going on.
"Well..." Lorne eventually tried. "There are medical procedures...for, you know...getting pregnant. Without...without..."
"Sex," Cadman supplied.
"Yeah, exactly."
"That's true," Carson conceded. "But I've checked all three of these ladies for any signs of artificial insemination, and there appears to be none. I did, however, find an unknown chemical in their bodies, which seems to be the culprit."
"It was the tea," Teyla said quietly.
It took John a second to catch on. "Wait...your tea with Sulara? She did this to you?"
"She thought she was bestowing a gift upon us. That was why she pulled us aside before we left. She was explaining why she...chose us.
"Things work differently in their culture," she continued. "When it is time for a woman to be with child, she drinks this tea and then goes out and chooses her mate. It is during this act that the child is actually sired. She told us that they have so few visitors that she was excited to be able to share this gift with worthy friends."
John held up his hands. "That doesn't even sound medically possible."
"It's not," Carson replied. "At least not in our own world. But I can assure you that they are pregnant, and that it was induced by whatever was in that tea. I'm still studying the compound."
Ronon finally spoke up. "So what happens if they don't?"
"Don't what?"
"Choose a mate."
Carson cleared his throat nervously. "From what I can tell, at this stage, the embryo is more like a parasite than a fetus. It will feed on the host's body until it is sired, or until..."
"Until what, Carson?" John demanded.
"Until the host dies," he finished, barely able to make eye contact. He took a deep breath. "We already tried aborting it."
"And?"
"We all got so sick we had our heads in the trash," Cadman said bitterly. "Apparently there's no getting rid of this thing."
"How long?" John asked, his voice oddly quiet. "How long until this thing kills them?"
Pinching the bridge of his nose, Carson sighed. "A week at the most."
The room fell silent and stayed that way.
~~~~
He followed her back to her office - he honestly didn't know what else to do. The news that she was pregnant and dying pretty much stopped every thought process he had, and his feet just went on autopilot. Neither of them spoke on the journey either, both wrapped up in their own dark thoughts.
She seemed surprised to see him when she took a seat at her desk. "Is there something I can do for you, John?"
He gave her a pained look, pacing across the office. "This is ridiculous."
Elizabeth looked down at her tablet, seeming to throw herself right back into work. He wasn't fooled though - he could see the shake of her hands.
"It is what it is," she replied. "We've come across all manner of things in this galaxy."
"Yeah, but have sex or die? That's a new one."
"True." He continued to pace and she eventually looked up at him with one eyebrow raised. "Was there something else you needed?"
John stopped and stared at her. "Don't you think we should talk about this?"
"Not really."
"This thing is going to kill you!"
"We don't know that."
Hands on his hips, he regarded her tensely. "How are you feeling?"
Her mouth tightened, but that was the only indication she gave that she wasn't feeling one hundred percent. "That's beside the point -"
"Dammit, Elizabeth! I'm not letting you die!"
She froze, breathing in deeply a couple of times as her bottom lip trembled slightly. "I don't need your pity, John Sheppard," she said coldly.
He stared at her. "That's not..."
"I have a lot of work to do. If you don't mind..."
"Elizabeth." He lowered his voice and stepped closer to the desk. "Elizabeth," he repeated. "Please tell me that you're not gonna let this thing kill you. Please just...just tell me that there's someone. That you'll...do what you need to do."
The words killed him to say, but pushed his feelings down as far as he could. This was Elizabeth, and he needed her to be okay. He may not have wanted her to be with another guy, but he wanted her alive more than anything.
"I'm busy, John," she said, her voice subdued. "Please."
He wanted to push the issue, but she had already shut down on him. Backing away from her, he bit back the angry words threatening to burst out and nodded.
"Sure," he muttered, leaving the office.
He didn't see the tears that filled her eyes as she watched him go.
~~~~
“That was a colossal waste of time,” Lorne muttered as he, Sheppard and Ronon trudged back into the jumper.
“Knew it would be,” John replied, sliding into chair.
“Then why make us go? Especially when…”
All three tensed at the unfinished sentence. It had been just a day since they had gotten the news about the women being pregnant, but already they were showing signs of illness. Elizabeth had looked surprised when John offered to head the next expedition off-world, fixing him with a curious stare as she gave him the go-ahead.
“I figured they wouldn’t have anything to offer us, which meant we could cut out early. Which means we can make an unscheduled stop somewhere.”
Lorne frowned, but Ronon nodded in approval. “Sulara?”
“Sulara,” John said grimly. “I wanna have a chat with that woman.”
~~~~
The Torvaris seemed surprised to see them, but they were greeted warmly and brought to a large waiting area while Sulara was informed of their arrival. John was worried that they might be kept waiting for awhile, but she soon strode out of her office, giving them a kind, if confused, smile.
“Colonel Sheppard, welcome. I have to admit that we are surprised by your visit.” She looked at each of them. “You did not bring Dr. Weir with you?”
“That’s what we need to talk about,” he said, fighting to keep his voice level.
“Of course. Please, follow me.”
She led them into her office, gesturing towards the couches and chairs arranged in a circle around a low coffee table. The decorations were plush, warm colors making the room seem darker than it was. The desk was large and hand-carved, covered with neat piles of parchment.
“How may I help you?” she asked once they were all seated.
It fell on John to do the talking. Shifting uncomfortably, he leaned forward, trying to keep himself from appearing threatening.
“We know about the tea you shared with our women and its…consequences.”
“Yes. The Life Ritual. We do not offer it to many outsiders, but the women you brought with you are exceptionally strong. It was because of our respect for them that we bestowed that gift upon them.”
He fought down the sudden urge to strangle her. “It’s not a gift in our culture, Sulara.”
She frowned. “You do not value new life?”
“Well, yeah. Of course we do. But this isn’t the way we do it.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I’m not really sure how to explain this. In our world, the women are usually…in a relationship when they choose to get pregnant. They choose a…a mate.”
Sulara’s frown only deepened. “Are you not Dr. Weir’s mate?”
“No, I’m not. She…doesn’t have one.”
Her eyes widened. “I misunderstood. The two of you act as though you have pledged your lives to one another. I only assumed…” She looked at Ronon and Lorne. “It is the same with Teyla and Lieutenant Cadman?” They both nodded and the woman looked genuinely pained. “I believed that I was offering them a gift. Especially to Dr. Weir…her childbearing years are narrowing and…”
John held up a hand. “We need you to fix it.”
“Fix it?”
“Make it go away. Heal them. Whatever.”
“I am sorry, Colonel, but that’s impossible. There is no way to undo the ritual.”
He was looking her in the eye when she said it and he couldn’t find any lie or hedging there. “But she’ll die,” he pressed, his throat closing. “They’ll all die.”
“Not if they choose a mate –“
“What you’re asking them to do goes against everything in our culture! Our women like to be able to choose –“
“As do ours, Colonel. You know that. I erroneously believed that our peoples were so similar that this would be a welcome gift. If I had realized that your relationships worked so differently from ours, I never would have –“
“You have to fix it,” he said fiercely, eyes boring straight into her. “I can’t watch her die.”
“If I could, I would,” she said firmly, and he believed her. “The only way for them to live is to choose a mate.” She paused. “They’re already getting sick, aren’t they?”
“Yes.”
She looked at each one of them. “I acted because of the way I perceived your relationships with your women. And though I was mistaken, I cannot believe that I was so wrong that I mistook your feelings for them. All three of you care about them. Deeply. And they for you. I cannot begin to adequately apologize for the wrong I’ve done against them, but all hope is not lost. You can save them. And perhaps begin a new part of your life with them.” She sighed, shaking her head. “I wish that I could undo this for them. I wish that I could spare them this pain. But I cannot. Please – convince them to choose.”
John stood up; he couldn’t listen to any more of this. “We need to get back.”
Sulara didn’t seem to be angered by his abrupt dismissal. Instead, she got to her feet as well, nodding sadly. “I am truly sorry, Colonel.”
He couldn’t bring himself to say anything. Turning, he walked out of her office, Ronon and Lorne following, his own tension and anger mirrored in each of them.
~~~~
Teyla had always enjoyed taking walks around Atlantis, but she seemed to be doing it more in the past two days. She supposed it was to clear her mind, but it wasn't all that cluttered to begin with. There were two choices in front of her, and that was it.
She could feel her body weakening. Her sparring sessions made that painfully obvious to both herself and whoever she was training with. Her appetite was gone and yet she was continually sick, her stomach heaving even without contents. Her sleep was no longer restful and her mind refused to focus on one point for length of time.
She was dying.
Logic had always been a strong suit for her. And logically speaking there was only one intelligent and natural choice for her to make. She accepted that. There was the small problem, however, of having to ask someone to share a bed with her in order to save her life. It was not an ideal situation.
Turning left, Teyla let herself out onto one of the bridges that spanned across the city. She hadn't seen very much of Ronon since Carson's explanation in the infirmary and she was a little surprised to see him there, just leaning against the railing and staring out into the darkness.
"Ronon?"
He turned his head slightly to acknowledge her, his gaze lingering for a moment before turning back.
"Are you alright?" she pressed, coming to stand beside him.
He was quiet for a long time, but Teyla was content to wait. Ronon was like John in some ways, unwilling - and sometimes unable - to share what he was feeling. But unlike John, who would deflect you with a joke, she found that she just needed to wait Ronon out. Eventually, he would find a way to say what he needed to say.
"I don't want you to die."
She gave him a thin smile. "On that, we are in agreement."
"Then why haven't you chosen someone?"
"What makes you think I haven't?" She had meant it as a joke, but the look he gave her made it clear that he knew she hadn't. Everyone on Atlantis knew that the three women weren't doing well, even if they didn't understand why. Teyla sighed. "Just because I know who I would choose does not mean that I have the courage to ask them."
"It's saving your life. I don't think anyone is going to turn you down."
"And that does wonders for a girl's ego," she murmured.
"Is your ego more important than your life?"
Her face fell. "No."
He shifted his body weight over to his other foot. "Look, I know you might want someone else. Sheppard, probably. But I..."
She turned her head to look at him. "Are you offering?"
He settled for a short nod. "Yeah."
A long breath left her and her smile came back. "Thank you. That saves me the trouble of having to ask you."
Not much caught Ronon off-guard, but his neck practically snapped as he turned to face her, his eyes wide. "Really?"
"I know that it is asking a lot of you, Ronon. This isn't just...there will also be a child. That it is a lot of burden to place on someone."
"A lot of burden on you, too."
She shrugged, one hand straying to her stomach. "One that I believe I am ready for." Her eyes met his. "You are sure?"
He nodded again. "Yeah." They were both quiet for a moment and then he looked around. "Probably not here, though, huh?"
Teyla let out a quiet chuckle. "That would probably be inappropriate."
"Well your bed is out of the question. It's tiny."
"I suppose that leaves your room then?"
"Unless you wanna use the floor."
A blush crept to her cheeks that she couldn't hide and Ronon smirked at her. As nervous as she may have been, Teyla knew that they would be alright. Her friendship with Ronon was strong and they were both pragmatic people. A life needed to be saved, and he was willing to do it.
Tilting her head, she turned and began the walk back to their living quarters. He was only half a step behind her, his hand warm and heavy at the small of her back.
~~~~
He touched her with a gentleness she had long expected he had, but that she hadn't been prepared to receive. Though Teyla wasn't a woman to shy away from intimate moments, she had been worried about what she would say once she and Ronon were alone in his room. She turned to face him, heart stuttering through its beats as she searched for words that wouldn't embarrass them both.
Ronon stepped forward. He didn't break the quiet stillness of the moment; his hand came up to her cheek, fingertips brushing across her skin as his eyes followed the movements. He took his time, tracing the tendons of her neck down to her shoulder, ghosting over her collarbone. It had been a long time since she had been touched in such a way and her eyelids slid shut. She took a shuddering breath, the sensations heading straight for the pit of her stomach, making her want to squirm.
He didn't speed up his movements. Instead, he brought up his other hand and repeated his path down her right side. Unable to stop herself, Teyla grabbed at his bicep, clinging to him as her heartbeat sped up, her breath coming faster and harder. Her knees quaked when both of his hands traced her collarbone to the center of her chest, fingers hovering just over her breasts.
He hadn't even kissed her yet and she felt like there was molten lava spreading through her veins.
When she finally felt his breath on her, it wasn't on her lips. He breathed against the column of her neck, his mouth just barely brushing against the skin as he inhaled the scent of her. His hands weren't idle either; they gently ran up and down her sides, never exerting more pressure than the barest hint of a touch.
Teyla couldn't breathe.
Reaching up, she took a hold of his face, lifting it so that she could meet his eyes. She was surprised to see that she was shaking - even her voice trembled as she fought to speak.
"Ronon."
It didn't take anything more than that. The gentle exploration was shelved and Ronon leaned forward, claiming her mouth with his. He grabbed her and pulled her flush against his body, holding her there firmly as his tongue broke past her lips and they tasted each other for the first time. Teyla was surprised to find that he was already hard against her, but the shock amped up her own desire and she rolled against him, suddenly desperate to feel every inch of him bare against her skin.
One strong arm wrapped around her waist and he hauled her up, her feet leaving the floor entirely. It took him three large strides to reach the bed and he didn't leave her as they both tumbled down onto the mattress. He let his forearms take most of his own weight even as he pressed down against her completely, friction driving them both to a frenzy.
Her shirt was the first casualty, and Ronon's full attention moved to her chest. His mouth toyed with one nipple while his hand focused on the other. Teyla wanted to urge him on, to push him lower so that he could sate the hunger that was practically devouring her from the inside out. But he seemed intent on bringing her to the edge and letting her hang from it, his touch causing electric jolts of pleasure to sprint across her skin. By the time his mouth was on her stomach she was writhing on the bed, grabbing the pillows beneath her head and fisting them.
He made quick work of her pants and moved to continue his path downward with the same agonizing slowness with which he had started. Teyla couldn't deny that the idea made her toes curl with pleasure, but it wasn't what she needed just then. Grabbing a handful of his hair, she tugged until he looked up at her. The hunger in his eyes drove a shudder through her and for a moment she couldn't find her voice.
"Please," she whispered. "I need...I..."
Ronon nodded in understanding. Pressing one kiss to her center that sent her head rolling back as she groaned, he pushed himself to his feet at the end of the bed. Teyla watched as he undressed himself, unable and unwilling to hide her desire. She had always found him to be an attractive man, but this...His skin shone in the low light of the room from the sheen of sweat that covered him. Well-toned muscle met her eyes wherever she let them roam and she licked her lips when he finally stood completely naked before her.
He joined her once again, checking to make sure that she was ready for him. The groan that escaped her mouth sounded foreign in her own ears, but she didn't have time to parse that thought. Ronon slid into her, causing them both to gasp and freeze. His head fell into the crook of her neck as he began to move. She held onto the headboard with one hand while the other dug into his shoulder - she was sure that she would break the skin or leave bruises at the least, but he didn't seem to mind. He just drove into her, lifting one of her legs to change the angle and wrapping it around his lower back. Teyla's eyes fluttered shut at the new sensation, but she opened them when she felt Ronon brushing the hair from her face. He stared at her for a long moment before kissing her deeply, his rhythm picking up speed. Their moans and throaty sighs filled the room, quickly consumed by the other as they refused to break their kiss for long. Teyla could feel her body tightening and coiling, but the break still caught her off-guard, ripping a scream from her as her body let go. Ronon was only half a step behind - a parallel her mind struggled to draw with how they operated in everything else, but it was too much, it was all too much - and then they lay there, tangled and spent.
After a few minutes, Ronon pushed himself off of her. She grabbed his arm as he moved to slide off the bed, shaking her head.
"Stay."
He nodded, collapsing beside her. Teyla took his hand and pulled until he turned on his side and wrapped an arm around her, pressing their bodies back together. As she drifted off to sleep with his reassuring presence surrounding her, she realized that for the first time in two days, she didn't feel ill. Strength was flowing through her body despite the exhaustion and she finally felt like herself.
Holding Ronon's hand over her stomach, smiling at the life they had just created, she let sleep take her.
~~~~
"What do you mean, I'm not going?"
Evan winced. Laura wasn't speaking loudly, but her tone was cold and dangerous. He had known that she wasn't going to react well to his order and that she was going to argue it with him despite the fact that he outranked her. He wasn't going to change his mind, though. She wasn't coming on the mission. End of story.
"You heard me, Cadman. You're not coming."
She stared at him in disbelief. "I'm a member of this team -"
"And right now you're worthless to us."
He hated himself even as he said it, and the hurt look that flashed across her face made him feel as though he had struck her with his hand. None of that changed the fact that she couldn't come on the mission.
It was only the third day since they'd gotten back from their last trip and it was already apparent that she was weakening. She couldn't get through one of her shifts without making frequent trips to the bathroom to be sick. Dark circles had formed beneath her eyes and her skin had become even more pale. She was starting to look like someone suffering from a terminal illness. Just looking at her made his stomach knot painfully and his fists clench.
She wouldn't talk about it, though. Every time he tried to engage her on the topic she either changed the subject or yelled at him and walked away.
The yelling was becoming less frequent now. She didn't have the energy for it.
"Why won't you choose someone?" he asked quietly. "We all know there's one way to save you."
Laura grimaced and then let out a hollow chuckle. "Why bother, Lorne? You're not gonna let me go off-world pregnant, either." She shook her head. "This whole thing has fucked my life over, you know that?"
He swallowed hard, eyes boring into her. "You know any of us would step up," he said fiercely, emphasizing that he was grouped in there. "You know that."
"Forget it."
She turned to walk away and Evan was surprised to find that he was shaking. She was just being so stupid. He understood that it was a complex situation, that she was being asked to do something against her will. Something no person should ever be asked. But that didn't change the fact that she was dying. He and Cadman might have had a more taunting relationship, but he considered her a friend. Family. He wasn't just going to let her die without making sure that he had done everything he possible could.
"Dammit, Laura!"
She didn't make it to the door. Evan caught a hold of her arm and spun her around, waving the door shut. He only met her eyes for a split second before he was pulling her closer and pressing his mouth to hers, pouring all of his anger and frustration into it. It lasted only a few seconds - barely enough for her to realize what was going on - and then he was pulling back, panic setting it.
He had basically locked her in a room and forced a kiss on her. He may not have wanted her to die, but he couldn't make her sleep with someone either - especially him. Loosening his hold on her arms, he took a shaky step back.
"Cadman...Laura -"
She didn't give him a chance to finish. Taking a hold of his face she pulled him back to her, kissing him fervently. It only took his brain half a second to catch up and then he was right there with her, tongue asking entrance and receiving it. All of those times he had argued with her and then entertained an errant fantasy of pressing her up against the nearest wall was actually coming true. A clumsy step forward pinned her against the closed door and he let his body weight hold her there, giving his hands the chance to roam freely.
Laura moaned as one of his hands grazed the side of her breast, biting down on his bottom lip so that he shivered. She could admit that she found Evan attractive - had even had her own fantasy or two about the Major - but the desire flooding through her now was like a tidal wave. She wondered if the life inside of her knew what they were doing and was spurring her on, giving her the very strength it had stolen from her in the past three days.
Whatever it was, she wasn't stopping. Whether she couldn't or didn't want to, she wasn't sure. It didn't matter.
Grabbing the collar of his black t-shirt, she pushed him backward until he hit the desk, both of them letting out a small grunt at the force. Evan sat down on the edge as his hands slid lower, gripping her ass and pulling her tighter between his legs. It was the contact they both wanted and yet it still wasn’t enough, the friction of their clothes driving them both a little wild. Evan couldn’t remember ever wanting someone this much and suddenly the room felt about eighty degrees warmer. He wanted out of his clothes immediately, and he wanted Laura naked and writhing beneath him.
That thought alone made him even harder.
Spinning her around, he hoisted her up onto his desk. Laura’s legs automatically wound around his hips, holding him to her tightly as he began to focus on her neck. Her fingernails dug into his arms and she let her head fall back, giving him better access. By the time he had gotten down to her collarbone she was almost shaking with need and she forced him to break contact just long enough to get his shirt off of him.
Her nails raked across his bare chest and Evan bit down her shoulder. Hands and clothes began flying everywhere, shoes kicked far across the room and belts clapping against walls before crashing to the ground. Laura Cadman was naked and gorgeous and kissing him and Evan just wanted to sink to his knees in front of her, taking his time as he made his way upward. She had other plans, though, and when her hand wrapped around him, he groaned and dropped his forehead against hers.
“Fuck, Laura.”
She grinned and nipped at his mouth. “That’s the idea, flyboy.”
They didn’t even get all of the way onto the desk. Laura maneuvered herself and slid down onto him, the edge of the desk digging into her backside. Evan scrabbled for some kind of leverage, eventually gripping one corner with his left hand and the lip of the desk with his right. The table was heavy enough to stay put but he felt precarious nonetheless. Laura simply wrapped herself around him and rocked her body into his, causing his brain to shut down completely.
It was fast and hard and Evan was grateful that Laura seemed as close to the edge as he was. He really didn’t think he could let go of the desk with one hand and keep them upright at the same time. But it wasn’t long before they were crashing over the edge together, their movements erratic and their voices hoarse. Heart still pounding loudly in his ears, Evan didn’t even wait to fully catch his breath before leaning in to kiss her.
She leaned into it for almost three seconds before she realized what they had just done and pulled away, her eyes wide with fear. Evan could tell she was ready to bolt and he stepped away from her, leaving his hands on his hips to steady her.
“Laura -”
She shook her head and dashed around him, picking up her clothing and putting it on as quickly as she could. His mind and body were still riding the high and he couldn’t put anything into words. He simply followed her lead and got dressed, reaching under the desk for one of his socks.
“Cadman -”
There was a swoosh as his hand closed over the missing garment. By the time he raised his head, though, the only thing he found himself looking at was an open door.
~~~~
John hit the practice dummy as hard as he could, over and over again, barely feeling the strain in his arms and shoulders. Sweat dripped down his face and soaked the collar of his shirt, but he kept going, eyes completely focused on the target in front of him. Finally, he let out a hoarse yell and kicked the thing, knocking it down with a loud clatter. Leaning forward, he pressed his hands to his kneecaps and struggled to get his breathing back to normal.
It wasn’t really making him feel even better. He wasn’t sure what would, honestly. He was angry as hell, but there wasn’t anything he could do about it.
Elizabeth was getting weaker. When Carson had first told them about the pregnancies, John thought that the hardest part of this was going to be watching Elizabeth choose someone else. This was worse, though. Watching her strength ebb away, the way her hands shook, the way she clutched her desk every time she stood...the dark circles under her eyes got deeper by the hour it seemed.
He tried to bring it up with her, tried to convince her that she needed to choose someone before this thing claimed her life. But every time she just shook her head and changed the subject, shooting him a glare if he tried to take it any further. He was supposed to keep her safe, and now he was being forced to watch her die right in front of him.
“SON OF A BITCH!” he growled, kicking at the fallen dummy.
“Colonel Sheppard?”
He spun around to see Carson standing in the doorway. For the first time, John realized that the doctor wasn’t looking too good, either. He had three pregnant women to deal with, and though Teyla and Cadman had already chosen someone, Elizabeth was still being stubborn. John wasn’t the only one that cared about her, and the strain was starting to show on Carson as well.
“What’s up, doc?” he asked, walking over to him.
“I was wondering if I could talk to you about Elizabeth.”
John hung his head and sighed. “I’m not sure what there is to say. She won’t talk to me about it.”
“Can I be perfectly frank here, Colonel?”
“Yeah, sure.”
Carson took a deep breath. “I expected you to offer. To save her.”
He swallowed hard, his jaw clenching. “I did. I have.” He shook his head. “She doesn’t want me, Carson.”
The doctor frowned. “I don’t believe that for one second.”
“Yeah, well...it’s true.”
“Don’t give up on her, John,” he said fiercely. “You can’t. There are a million reasons Elizabeth could be fighting this. And she has a right, you know! This damned thing is forcing her to be intimate with someone or die...that’s taking her consent away. Her control. Any woman would have the right to be angry and scared.”
His words made John’s chest tighten, and he found himself struggling to breathe again. Even if Elizabeth did agree to this, to him, she would only be doing it because she didn’t really have a choice to begin with. Nothing about this situation was pretty, and she was backed into a corner.
Carson stepped forward and rested a hand on his shoulder. “She trusts you more than anyone, John. You’re her best friend. And I honestly believe that you are the only man she would consider going through this with. You can’t give up on her.”
“And I can’t force her. I won’t.”
“I know. But that doesn’t mean you stop offering. You do what you’ve always done. You take care of her. You remind her that she’s not alone. And no matter what she decides, you stand by her.”
“And if she decides she’d rather die?” he asked quietly.
Carson hesitated, paling slightly. “I have to believe it won’t come to that. Just don’t abandon her, Colonel. Please.”
“I won’t,” he promised. “I never could.”
~~~~
“We need to talk,” he said as soon as she opened the door.
She looked tired, and he knew that it wasn't just because she didn't want to have this conversation again. He knew that it wasn't because of late nights spent in her office pouring over paperwork that would haunt her in her sleep. It was the thing inside of her, the “gift” that Sulara had bestowed upon them. Both Teyla and Cadman had chosen someone and were now going through regular pregnancies. But Elizabeth was steadfastly refusing to make that choice, and day by day it was killing her. He couldn't believe that Carson had only explained all of this to them less than four days ago. She looked like she'd been battling cancer or some other terminal disease. It made his stomach ache and his hands shake and he wanted to scream and cry and beg her to just choose someone so that he didn't have to watch her die.
“John -”
He didn't wait for an invitation or an objection. Instead, he walked straight into the room and turned around to face her, waiting for her to shut the door. Even after she had, though, it took her a long time to turn and look at him.
“You can't keep this up, Elizabeth,” he said quietly. “You have to choose someone.”
“I don't actually.”
His eyes hardened. “I'm not letting you die.”
She didn't look at him, instead moving over to her bureau and rummaging through personal items she had lying there. “This has nothing to do with you, John.”
Something inside of him snapped. “It's you, Elizabeth! That means it has everything to do with me!”
There was a fire in her eyes when she whipped around to face him. “This is my life, John! My body! Do you have any idea what you're asking me to do!?”
“That goes both ways! I know that I can't understand what you're going through, or how you're...feeling. But look at it from my side! You're asking me to let you DIE!”
“I'm asking you to let me choose my own LIFE!”
John surged forward taking a hold of her arms and pulling her up until their faces were level. “You're not choosing your life, Elizabeth!” he roared. “You're responsible for an entire city and you're letting this thing BEAT YOU!”
She tried to push away from him, but she lacked the strength. Now that he had his hands on her, he could feel the way that she was shaking, the weakness in her muscles. She felt lighter, too, and he knew that what little food she was getting down wasn't staying inside of her. With her face this close to him, he could also see the fear and the pain in her eyes, the way her lips were dry and chapped, and the thin sheen of sweat across her forehead. Everything he saw pointed at the fact that she was going to die in less than three days and even though they knew the cure, she wouldn't let him save her.
He loosened his grip, gently setting her back on the ground. He didn't let go of her though, feeling her sway beneath his hold. Instead, he slid one hand up until he was cupping her face, his fingers threading through her hair.
“Please, 'Lizabeth,” he whispered, unable to keep the tremor out of his voice. “Please. I know that this sucks. I know that this whole thing...it's not fair. It's a violation. And if I could, you know I'd make it so that you didn't have to go through this. But I can't.” Saying it ripped something out of him and his voice grew hoarse as his thumb swiped across her cheekbone. “I can't undo this. But I can save your life, if you would just let me.” He couldn't look at her anymore, at the tremble of her mouth or the death march in her eyes. Leaning forward, he kissed her temple, breathing her in even as he tried to keep himself from breaking around her. “Please,” he begged.
She was pushing him away again, her hands pressed against his chest and her head swinging from side to side. “No,” she forced out. “No. I am not...I won't let this thing...” She looked up as he finally let go of her, bracing herself on the bureau behind her. “John, please. I can't.”
That was it. He had tried everything. He had yelled at her. He had begged. He had tried reason. The painfully obvious truth was that she'd rather die than let him do this. Somehow it hurt even more than he thought it could and he took a stumbling step backwards. He opened his mouth once or twice, thinking that there was something he was supposed to say here, but he was afraid of what would come out. So he just turned away and left the room, the door closing behind him just as she collapsed to the ground.
~~~~
The knock on his door was quiet and slightly hesitant, but John hadn’t really been focusing on his paperwork anyway. The only thing he could think about was Elizabeth and the way she had turned him down. He didn’t worry or care about whether there was someone else she’d rather have – she wasn’t going to let anyone save her.
The knock sounded again and he tried to shake himself out of the dark thoughts. Looking up, he saw Carson standing there, and cold fear clutched at him.
“Hey, Doc,” he said, trying to sound casual. “Something I can help you with?”
“She doesn’t have much longer,” he said quietly, his eyes sad and his voice thick. “I tried to get her to stay in the infirmary, but she refused. She barely had the strength to walk out.”
John swallowed roughly, running a hand through his hair. “I tried,” he said. “I tried and she wouldn’t…I can’t save her,” he whispered. Anger surged through him again, swelling with the heartache. “She’s letting this thing kill her and she won’t…” He slammed his fist down onto his desk, making Carson jump. “Dammit!”
They both fell silent for a minute. Carson watched as the colonel buried his face in his hands, pressing his palms against his eyes. He waited for him to continue, but when he didn’t, the doctor decided to press.
“You should be with her, Colonel.”
“She doesn’t want me.”
“She doesn’t want you to sleep with her just to save her life,” Carson corrected.
“I…” His throat clenched as he struggled to breathe. “That’s not…it wouldn’t be the only reason.”
“Have you tried telling her that?”
John snorted, pulling his face out of his hands and wiping at his eyes. “She knows.”
“Does she? I hate to point this out, but I’m not too sure Elizabeth is seeing things clearly right now. I know you’re not one for talking and sharing your feelings, but she should know.”
“What would that change?”
“Maybe everything.” Carson paused. “Regardless, John…she shouldn’t be alone right now. I understand if she doesn’t want to be in the infirmary, but I don’t want her sitting in some lonely corner of Atlantis waiting to die. You promised me you wouldn’t give up on her. Don’t leave her now when she needs you most.”
“So…what? You’re asking me to hold her while she dies?”
“I’m asking you to love her. Something, I might add, that you already do.” He took a deep breath.
“Please, John.”
He sighed - Carson was right. “Do you know where she is?”
“I figured you would. You know her better than anyone.”
John just nodded and stood up. Part of him was terrified to find her, to watch her slip away from him. But he knew he couldn’t be anywhere else. In the end, it always came back to her.
He barely felt Carson pat his shoulder as he walked past him and out of the room.
~~~~
He found her out on the balcony. It was a usual place for them, but he was used to seeing her standing at the railing, staring out across the water. Not bundled up in the far corner, hugging her knees to her chest as her entire body shook and rain soaked her.
John bit back a curse and moved forward, sweeping her up into his arms as he leaned back against the wall and cradled her against his chest. He could feel the shivers now, rocking her entire body. Her skin was cold and her breathing was shallow.
She was dying.
He hated this. He hated Sulara for forcing this on her. He hated Carson for not being able to make it go away. He even hated Elizabeth for letting it win.
"Don't do this, 'Lizabeth," he whispered, his mouth against her ear. "It's not too late. We can still..." He tightened his hold on her. "I know I'm not on anybody's father-to-be list, but I can't...I can't let you die. I can't. I need you to..." He swallowed hard, his chest constricting. "I'll take care of you both. And I won't...you won't owe me anything. I'll still take care of you. I...I love you."
Saying it felt like a knife ripping through his chest. But he had to say it. He had to make sure that she knew.
Cold fingers moved along his jaw, sliding water droplets across his skin. She was looking at him now, her eyes searching. Her other hand came up and framed his face, thumbs running along his cheeks.
"'Lizabeth."
She kissed him. Her lips were cold and his brain tried not to focus on what that meant. He just kept his attention on the way she felt in his arms, pressed up against him. She opened up to him almost immediately, letting out a soft moan as his tongue moved with hers. The sound disappeared somewhere between them and John shifted them until Elizabeth was straddling him, hands clutching at the collar of his shirt.
He was worried that she would be too weak at this point, but as their kisses grew longer and deeper, her strength seemed to come back to her. He vaguely remembered Lorne saying something about that, but then Elizabeth's hips twisted and all coherent thought left him. She was there and she was kissing him and he was going to save her. She was going to let him.
He could have cried in relief.
He wanted to get her out of the rain. He wanted to take her inside to her quarters where they could do this right. But they didn't have time for that now. Less than a minute before he had been convinced that she was going to die in his arms. Now she was kissing him and the only thing he could do was follow her lead.
Pushing himself forward, he gently leaned Elizabeth back until she was underneath him, their bodies pressed together. Her hands were busy - roaming across his back and then slipping under his shirt to touch bare skin. John shivered and felt her smile against his mouth.
There were so many things he wanted to do with her, so many ways he wanted to touch her. With the cold rain soaking them both though, he opted for keeping things simple. Clothes were discarded without a word and he made sure to keep her under him, protecting her from the weather as much as he could. His lips slid down her throat and he moaned as his tongue darted out to taste her. Elizabeth's hands fisted in his hair when he reached her breasts, and her own moans sent waves of pleasure pulsing through his body. Forcing himself to move back up instead of down, he kissed her deeply once more before pulling back to look at her.
She was beautiful. Eyes wide and cheeks flushed, she had more color than he'd seen all week.
He didn’t look away as he slid into her. Elizabeth’s eyes rolled back and she clutched him even harder, her breath catching as she whispered his name. John forced himself to stay still for a moment, his body throbbing with need, staring down at her as he realized that there weren’t any words for this moment. Nothing could explain to her how he felt. All he could do was show her.
“Elizabeth.”
Her eyes opened, the lids fluttering as she focused on him. She reached up, cupping his face in her hands and smiling softly at him. Then she pulled him down, kissing him as her body urged him to move with her.
The rain was like a veil around them, masking them from the rest of the world. The city fell away and it was just them, their moans and whispered urgings echoing as though they were enclosed in glass. When they finally fell apart, drenched and breathing heavily, the rain was all they could hear, bouncing off the floor of the balcony and soaking into their discarded clothing.
Looking down at the woman below him, John couldn’t do much else than marvel. She bit her bottom lip and reached up, tracing the bridge of his nose with her index finger. For some reason, the touch was more intimate than he expected - especially given what they had just done - and his eyes slid shut as he let out a contented sigh.
“John -”
“Sheppard!”
The crackling in his ear made his heart jump and he let out a curse before answering. “What?”
“Do you know where Elizabeth is?”
“She’s right here.”
“And is she...?”
“She’s fine, McKay. What the hell do you want?”
“We might have a problem. Wait - Elizabeth’s fine. Does that mean that you...?”
“McKay!”
“Right. Sorry. You two should come see this.”
“Is this an emergency?”
Rodney sighed. “Since when are any of our problems NOT an emergency?”
“Valid point. Fine. Have someone bring dry clothes for Elizabeth and I and leave them in the conference room.”
“Why do you...Wait. Nevermind. I really don’t want the details.”
John sighed as he clicked his radio off and looked down at Elizabeth, who had raised one eyebrow at him. Her own earpiece had been taken off while they were undressing, so she had missed half of the conversation.
“Ready to go back to work?”
“It sounds as though we don’t have a choice.”
“Trust me. If we did...”
He leaned in and kissed her one more time. He didn’t want to leave her, to leave this. She hadn’t said anything aside from his name and a few other pleadings and demands during their lovemaking, and he wasn’t sure he was ever going to get the chance again. So he kissed her twice more after that - just in case. Then he pushed himself to his feet and reached down to help her up.
“Let’s get to it, then.”
~~~~
She couldn’t help but blush whenever John walked into the room. She may have been close to death when they made love, but she remembered every second of it. The way his hands felt as they ran over her body. The way his weight settled down on top of her. The way his lips moved against her own. And she remembered the way he looked at her. She had never seen him so exposed before. His heart had been laid out right in front of her and he had offered her everything he had.
He had saved more than just her life.
He stopped in front of her desk, hands in his pockets.
“Hey.”
Elizabeth couldn’t have stopped her smile even if she had wanted to. “Hey.”
“Crazy week.”
“Crazy past couple,” she agreed. “But we seem to have made it through by the skin of our teeth. Again.”
“Not gonna complain about that.” He shifted his weight. “You uh...you wanted to see me?”
“Right. You’re a difficult man to track down sometimes, Colonel.”
He grimaced at the formal tone. “Sorry.”
Elizabeth straightened up and took a deep breath. “I was wondering if you’d like to have dinner. With me.”
His eyes widened in surprise and a warm smile slowly spread across his face.
“I’d like that.”
Elizabeth nodded, her expression matching his. “Good. Give me another hour here and then come to my room?”
He still looked a little shell-shocked, but he nodded. “Yeah.” He looked around the room, as though suddenly remembering where he was. “I should, um...paperwork.”
She raised an amused eyebrow at him. “Right.”
John stared at her for a moment more, his smile still lingering. Then he nodded again and walked out, leaving a grinning and blushing Elizabeth behind him.
~~~~
“Are you alright?” Elizabeth asked as they worked their way through the food. “You seem...uncomfortable. You have for a little while now.” Ever since the balcony, she wanted to add.
He gave her a tight smile but didn’t meet her eyes. “I’m fine.”
A heavy knot formed in the pit of her stomach and she set down her fork, taking a deep breath. “John...if you want to take it back...” Her words were getting stuck and she swallowed, trying again. “I understand, if you only said what you did to save my life. You’re not...you’re not stuck with me -”
He reached out for her hand in a move that startled her because of the desperation behind it. “I meant it,” he said firmly. “I just...I don’t know where your head is at, ‘Lizabeth. I don’t know what you’re...you know...feeling.”
She frowned in confusion. “I thought you knew -” Elizabeth stopped, pressing one hand over her mouth. “Oh, God. I never said it.”
John watched her carefully. “You didn’t really say much of anything.”
“I guess...I guess I just assumed that you knew. That’s why I couldn’t let you...well, save me...at first. The way I felt about you, it wasn’t fair. I didn’t want you to feel like you owed me something. I didn’t want to trap you.” She looked him in the eye and squeezed his hand. “John, I love you.”
The knot that he’d been carrying in his chest slowly unraveled. “Wow.”
She raised an eyebrow at him. “Is that all you have to say?”
“Well you gotta cut me some slack here. I mean, you love me - and I love you too, by the way - and you’re having my baby and it’s all a little much. I mean...last week we weren’t even admitting that we liked each other, you know?”
Elizabeth did her best to keep her voice steady. “Too much?” she asked.
“With anyone else, yeah. But you...I’m terrified, Elizabeth,” he admitted, eyes searching hers. “I could screw this up like you wouldn’t even believe. But...it’s you. I’m willing to go for it. If you’re sure you want me.”
Some women would have been hurt, would have taken his words the wrong way and misunderstood him. But Elizabeth knew that John Sheppard had just laid his heart out in front of her. He was sitting there, asking her to choose him, just like he’d been doing since this bomb got dropped on them.
“I’m sure,” she whispered, her voice thick. “And you’re not the only one that’s terrified.”
“That’s actually a lot more comforting than it should be.”
He stared at her for a minute and then got up, coming around the table and pulling her to her feet. He tucked her hair behind her ears and held her face, and Elizabeth couldn’t help but start to grin like an idiot. Until he kissed her. It wasn’t out of desperation or a need to save her life and it felt so much more real than that first kiss they had shared on that balcony. They may have already conceived a child, but she felt like this was a first time all over again because everything was their choice this time. The thought made her shiver and she pulled him closer.
“I think I’m done with dinner,” she murmured.
John grinned and propelled them to the bed.
~~~~
Laura paced across the room, turning with force every time she met a wall. Her hands were clenched at her sides and her jaw was set, nostrils flaring a bit with each breath. Elizabeth and Teyla watched her carefully from where they sat on the bed. Both knew that something should be said, but neither was sure that they're diplomatic skills could keep Laura from exploding.
“You should sit down,” Teyla finally ventured quietly.
“You should go see Evan,” Elizabeth countered.
Laura whirled around. “That's easy for you to say!” she exclaimed. “You and Sheppard are...are...together.”
“That may be true,” Teyla said, “but that is not the case with Ronon and I. And I agree with Elizabeth.”
“I can't.”
Elizabeth raised an eyebrow. “Is there someone else you'd rather...?”
She blushed all the way up to the tips of her ears. “No!”
“So you do want him?”
“No, I...I...” She came over and flopped down onto the bed. “This is so stupid,” she muttered.
Elizabeth reached out and tucked a strand of Laura's hair behind her ear. “It's not so complicated, though. You're pregnant. You want Lorne. And he's the father of your child. The only problem is that you can't admit it to him.” She paused. “Or to yourself, it would seem.”
Something inside of her gave, and she slumped forward slightly, letting out a shaky breath. “What if he doesn't want me, though?” she asked quietly.
“Now you know that is far from the truth, Laura,” Teyla said. “Lorne has done nothing but try to stand by your side. Did he not offer to help you in any way that he could?”
She gave a hollow laugh. “I'm not sure that included sex.”
The Athosian gave her a knowing smirk. “I am most certain that he would not turn you away, Laura. Quite the opposite, actually.”
Laura blushed again, squirming in her seat. “Yeah, but...I don't normally have to ask a guy to, you know...”
“He offered last time?” Elizabeth asked.
“Actually, he threw me against the desk and...”
Her eyes widened. “Oh.” She smiled slowly. “In that case...why are you still sitting here talking to us?”
“But -”
“You have three choices. Go find Lorne, go find someone else you'd rather be with, or go without sex.”
Laura swallowed and stood up. “Right. See you guys later.”
Once she was out in the hallway, she turned and headed for Evan's room. She wasn't really sure why she was so nervous. She usually didn't have a problem making a move on a guy, and if he wasn't interested, that was fine. She had her life and she wasn't going to let herself be dragged down because one guy didn't want her.
It was different with Evan, though.
Even before the forced pregnancy, she had always found him to be attractive – and not just physically, either. He had no problem teasing her and trading barbs and he could almost always make her laugh. He was pretty cool – for a flyboy, anyway – and she enjoyed being a part of his team.
Since that night in his office, though, she had seen another side of him. He always asked how she was feeling, actually stopping and waiting for the response. He made sure she took breaks and ate enough. He asked her if she was sleeping alright. And even though she hadn't let him come to any of her appointments with Carson, he always asked about the baby, if there was anything knew going on. He told her that if there was anything – and he stressed the anything part – that she needed, that he wanted her to come to him. And his eyes...
Her stomach flipped just at the memory of the way he looked at her.
Laura shook her head as she neared his door. He was just being like that because of the baby. And she appreciated it – she really did. But she wasn't going to make him commit to her just because he had been a good enough man to save her life. She had to keep this casual. She needed to make sure that he had an out.
Taking a deep breath, she waved her hand in front of the sensors and waited. A few seconds later, the door was opening and Evan was standing in front of her, a small smile on his face.
“Hey.”
“Hey.” Laura shifted her weight from foot to foot. “You um...you said I could come to you. If there was anything I needed.”
“Of course.” He stepped aside to let her in and then closed the door behind her. “What is it?”
Words weren't really her thing. She was intelligent, articulate. But when it came to certain aspects of her life, Laura Cadman found that actions were sometimes the better way to go. And with Evan looking at her like that...
She stepped forward and grabbed his face, kissing him firmly. She put all of the confidence she could muster into the move, not wanting him to sense her nervousness. It only took him half a heartbeat to follow her lead and then he was kissing her back, his arms holding her tightly against him.
“Laura,” he breathed, pulling back slightly.
She shook her head. “Please.” It sounded desperate in her ears. “I need...”
He nodded, not making her say anything else. He just kissed her again and walked her back to the bed, pushing her down onto the mattress gently. His kisses were deep and long and Laura found herself squirming beneath him, her chest tight. She realized that she had been expecting this to be hard and fast like the last time, but Evan had something else in mind. His mouth left hers and traveled down her neck before he lifted her shirt slightly and started to kiss her stomach.
It was too much for her. Her hands tangled in his short hair and she closed her eyes, suddenly fighting back tears that she didn't quite understand.
“Evan -”
He looked up at her, his expression earnest. “Let me make you feel better,” he whispered.
She couldn't say anything to that and just nodded. Evan looked relieved at her agreement and then lowered his head once again and kissed her stomach almost reverently. Her body had begun to change with the pregnancy and though she wasn't noticeably large yet, there was a slight bulge where her flat stomach used to be. It had frustrated her, when her pants had started to become tight, but Evan seemed amazed by it.
“Our baby,” he murmured.
Then he was pulling her clothes off slowly, exploring each new part of her that he uncovered. He seemed particularly interested in her breasts, which had started to fill out even more and had become much more sensitive. He paid them so much attention that she had started to writhe against him, one hand clutching at the low headboard behind her.
“Oh God,” she moaned.
Then he moved lower. She briefly thought that she shouldn't let him, that she should make him move back up so that they could do this without being so intimate – a part of her rolled her eyes at that flimsy distinction – but once his mouth was on her, she couldn't do it. It felt amazingly good to have him touch her like that and something curled tightly in her stomach at the way he took his time, seeking out what made her feel best. And then it was his tongue and his fingers and -
She saw black spots when her orgasm hit her and it took her a couple of minutes to come down from it. Evan's hands slid back up her body until he could kiss her mouth again and her toes curled when she felt his erection pressing against her. The sudden realization made her pull back and frown.
“What?” Evan asked, worry creeping into his voice.
“You've still got all your clothes on.”
The worry vanished and he grinned. “You anxious to see me naked?”
Laura rolled her eyes. “Strip, flyboy.”
His gaze darkened. “Yes, ma'am.”
He levered himself up off the bed and began to pull his own clothes off. Laura hadn't gotten to enjoy the stripping the last time, but she did remember how strong his chest felt under her hands. And the view she was getting now only reinforced that. Evan might not have been a tall man, but he took good care of himself. And when his pants joined his shirt on the floor, Laura found her attention completely riveted below his waist.
He blushed slightly at her intense gaze. “Like what you see?”
Laura bit her lip and nodded as he crawled back over her. “Hell yes, sir.”
His breath seemed to catch at that and he leaned down to kiss her fiercely. Slow and sweet went out the door and Laura was just fine with that, her body already aching again to have him inside of her. He slid in without any warning and her head fell back against the pillows. His mouth moved back to her breasts as he moved in and out of her and all she could do was wrap her legs around his waist and hold on, fingernails digging into his shoulders. Evan shifted slightly to change the angle and she cried out, urging him on, tightening her legs around him. One of his hands drifted down to touch her and it was just the right amount of pressure to make her explode, her release ripping through her. Evan followed her a few seconds later.
They both breathed heavily in the silence that followed, Evan's head resting in the crook of her neck. He placed a kiss there and she shuddered, and then he lifted his head enough to give her another deep kiss, his tongue slowly exploring her mouth. Gently pulling out of her, he slid to the side, one hand resting on her stomach as weariness overcame both them. He watched her eyelids flutter shut before he let his own close, falling asleep with the comfort of having her there pressed against his side.
When he woke a few hours later, she was gone.
~~~~
John shook his head as Rodney continued to rant and rave behind him. The scientist loved when he got energy readings where there shouldn't be any – he thought there was a good chance they'd find something useful like a ZPM – but he hated when he couldn't find the stupid thing. John understood the frustration, but he had long ago learned that it was easier to just let McKay go through his little routine and keep his thoughts to himself. Otherwise they would just end up bickering the rest of the way.
Better to save that for when he was really bored.
For the time being, he let his mind wander back to Atlantis and Elizabeth. Pregnancy made her gorgeous and terrifying all at the same time, and he loved it. Her temper was slightly shorter than he was used to, and she was quicker to yell at him for doing stupid things when he was off-world, but he couldn't really blame her for that. She had confessed to him late one night that she didn't want to raise this baby alone and that she was scared to death that one day he just wasn't going to come home to her. He couldn't stop doing his job, but he could be more careful. With two other fathers-to-be were with him on this particular trip, he would pay special attention to their safety. Ronon and Lorne could take care of themselves, but the idea of facing an irate Teyla beside an infuriated Cadman? John was fairly certain he'd rather face a Wraith.
Thinking of the others made him glance over at Lorne. The major was looking a little more haunted these days, despite the fact that a smile spread across his face every time he saw Laura. John wasn't really big on the talking and the opening up, but he felt like he owed it to the other man to at least try. They had both gone through the same awkward situation and that gave them quite a bit of common ground.
“How's Cadman?” he asked, falling back slightly to walk beside him.
“Good.” He paused. “I think.”
“You think?”
Lorne shrugged. “Laura doesn't exactly let me in on what she's thinking, sir.”
“Yeah, but...I mean...the two of you, you're...well, you know...”
He shifted the weight of the pack he was carrying on his shoulders. “We're...it's complicated, sir.”
“I'm asking as a friend,” John told him. “Not your boss. And trust me...complicated is the way we do things on Atlantis.”
Lorne let out a quiet chuckle. “True.” Taking a deep breath, he looked around at the trees. “We're sleeping together. But she won't...that's it. She shows up in my room, we have sex, and then she's gone by the time I wake up. I don't think she's interested in anything...deeper.”
John frowned. “Have you tried talking to her about it?”
“She doesn't normally let me get a word in. And...I'm afraid of rocking the boat.”
“You don't want her to walk away completely.”
“Exactly.”
John watched him out of the corner of his eye, momentarily distracted by Rodney's continued complaining. “But you want more.”
Lorne nodded. “I would understand, if she didn't want me. She was in an impossible situation. But she keeps coming to me...” He shrugged. “Maybe she's just desperate.”
“Not exactly fair to you.”
“Can't say no to her though. I don't want to.” His eyes became distant. “As long as she lets me be a part of the baby's life...I guess that's really all I can ask.”
“You can ask for a hell of a lot more than that, Evan,” he said firmly. “And you should. You should tell her how you feel.”
Lorne raised an eyebrow at him. “Really, sir? You're giving advice on opening up?”
John scowled. “Alright. I can admit that I'm not usually first in line to do that kind of thing. But...I almost lost Elizabeth because of it. It's worth the initial awkwardness, trust me.”
“You're really happy with all of this, aren't you?”
He shrugged. “It's not exactly the way I would have planned...but I've got Elizabeth and we're having a baby. We may not have contact with Earth, but Atlantis has been relatively safe lately. So I can't really complain about much.”
“Better knock on one of these trees, Sheppard. Don't want to jinx us.”
“We've got McKay with us. We're screwed either way.”
“True.”
John turned to look over his shoulder at the scientist. “Anything yet?”
Rodney sighed. “Haven't you been listening to a thing I've said?”
“Do I normally?”
“No. Honestly, I don't know why I continue to come out here with you people!”
“Because Dr. Weir tells you to,” Lorne pointed out. “And even you aren't foolish enough to tell her no.”
Rodney opened his mouth to make a sharp retort, but Ronon tossed his bag down before he could. “It's time for a lunch break anyway.”
“Now that's an idea I can get behind,” John agreed.
They had stopped on the banks of a river that was flowing by them at a quick clip. John wondered if the planet had gotten a lot of rain in the past few days or if it always ran this heavy. Either way, the sound was oddly comforting and the sun was warm on his face. He was sure McKay would eventually trace the source of the strange energy readings, but for now he just wanted to sit and enjoy some food. He could go for some quiet as well, but there was little chance of that happening.
“Turkey sandwiches?” Rodney whined. “Really?”
“You want something else, you can start packing the lunches,” John replied, leaning back against a large rock. “Until then, eat it or pass it over.”
That shut him up for the moment and all four of them dug into their sandwiches. John wasn't sure what it was about turkey that he loved so much, but he just never got tired of it. Lorne and Ronon never complained – maybe because it just didn't really matter to them, or because they figured he was in charge and got to fix the food – which left McKay in the minority every time. John was okay with that.
They sat there long after they were done eating, none of them eager to get up and continue their search. They had yet to even detect life signs on the planet, and there hadn't been much of anything in the Ancient database to tell them what to expect. If it hadn't been for the energy readings, they probably would have passed the planet by and never given it a second thought.
It was a peaceful place, though, and John noted that they didn't find very many of those in their travels. No one was trying to kill them or cheat them. No one was making any threats or worried that John and his friends were there to hurt them. It was just a pretty, uninhabited planet.
Which made no sense. Planets like this were valuable to almost anyone, and yet they hadn't seen any hint of life. The scenery honestly reminded him a little of Jurassic Park, and he kept listening for a rustle in the trees that would warn them of a raptor. It was ridiculous and he knew it, but there had to be some reason that people weren't making their homes here.
“You think the Wraith wiped them out?” Lorne asked, apparently thinking along the same lines.
Ronon shrugged. “Would have expected at least some ruins.”
“It's strange,” John agreed. “But the place feels totally empty.”
“What the...!?”
They all turned to see Rodney hitting his computer in frustration. Apparently the blow still didn't give him the results he was looking for though, and he hit it again.
“Come on you stupid thing! Work!”
“Problem, Rodney?” John asked.
“It's gone!”
“What's gone?”
“The energy readings! They were spiking abnormally a minute ago and now they're just not there!”
“Are you sure they were there to begin with?”
Rodney gave him a scathing look. “Yes, I'm sure. It's like...it's like someone flipped a switch!”
“Maybe they did.”
“That would require for someone to actually be here. And there are no life signs showing up!”
“Alright,” John said calmly. “We'll give it a half hour and if they don't come back, we'll head home.” Rodney opened his mouth to object, but John cut him off. “Can you find this thing if it's not emitting anything.”
“Well, no -”
“Then we wait for a little while. But I'm not spending the night out here, okay? This planet is uninhabited for a reason and it might very well be something that only comes out after the sun goes down.”
Rodney frowned. “You've been acting strange. Ever since Elizabeth got pregnant.”
“Because he's not running into the fray without thinking first?” Lorne asked with a smirk.
“Because he's always so eager to get back to Atlantis.”
“I like it there,” John replied. “And so do you, Rodney. You're just mad because the technology pulled a fast one on you.”
“The energy readings were there.”
“I'm sure they were.” He moved away from the rock a little and laid down, hands clasped behind his head. “Now, can we enjoy the next thirty minutes with minimal talking?”
Ronon grunted and Lorne nodded, but Rodney just lowered his muttering until it was mostly under his breath. John caught a few words - “don't understand,” and “it's always me,” being some of them – but overall he didn't care. Letting his eyes slide shut, he decided to just enjoy the time in the sun.
~~~~
“Nothing?” Elizabeth asked, one eyebrow climbing steadily. “That’s unusual.”
John sighed as he slouched in the chair. “Tell me about it. McKay’s already locked in one of the labs trying to figure it out.”
“He’s trying to figure nothing out.”
“Well, you know him. The laziest overachiever we’ve got.”
“And you?”
“Well, I’m certainly lazy. But I’m not really into the overachieving.” Elizabeth just gave him a look and he chuckled. “I’ll admit, it was strange.”
“The nothing?”
“It was a nice planet. More than nice, really. There should have been people there, Elizabeth. Or at least evidence that people were there at some point.”
She narrowed her eyes. “You’re uneasy.”
“I’m uneasy that I’m not more uneasy.”
Watching him for a second longer, she leaned back in her chair and let out a long breath. “Well, I for one am happy that you all came back from a mission without a scrape or bruise on you.” A smile crept onto her face as she realized that his eyes were locked on her ever-growing stomach. “John. You’re staring again.”
He shrugged, slowly dragging his eyes up her body until their gazes met. “Can you really blame me?”
Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “Flatterer.”
He winked at her and then his smile disappeared. “Hey, by the way...do you think you could talk to Cadman?”
Her expression sobered as well. “Did Lorne talk to you?”
“Yeah. She’s not exactly being fair.”
“Trust me, I know. And not just to him. She wants more out of this, too.”
John frowned. “Then why is she doing this?”
Elizabeth spread her hands. “She won’t admit her feelings. Not even to herself.”
“She could do a hell of a lot worse than Evan Lorne,” he said darkly.
Elizabeth’s eyes softened at his tone. “She’s not ashamed of him, John.”
“That’s not what it sounds like.”
“She’s afraid.”
“Maybe someone should remind her that she’s a Marine.”
She sat up straight, giving him a hard look. “And maybe someone should remember that she’s also a pregnant woman who didn’t choose to have this situation thrust upon her. I know it’s not fair, John. But it’s not fair to either of them. Just because you and I figured things out doesn’t mean that it will come so easily for the others.”
He shifted uncomfortably in his chair and when he spoke again, the anger was gone from his voice. “Lorne is good people.”
“I know,” she said quietly. “They both are.” She sighed, looking around at her desk. “Give me another hour and we’ll get some dinner?”
John nodded and got up, obviously still bothered by the whole situation. He wanted to lean over and give her a kiss on the cheek, but he knew how she felt about things like that when they were in her office. He gave her an uncomfortable smile and walked out instead, ignoring the way her eyes followed him.
~~~~
It slid away from him, taking refuge in the shadows. It felt good to be outside again, free from that planet and from the restrictions placed on it. There was so much more room to move here, more opportunities. Though really, anywhere was better than where it had been.
It looked down at the form sleeping on the bed, tilting its head to one side. Then it looked down at its own body as it unfolded into being - an exact replica. It was not an unpleasant form, and it flexed its fingers, feeling the muscles all the way up to its shoulders. It rolled them experimentally. Yes, this would do just fine.
For a moment it contemplated killing the original. But he was still needed until the rest of the memories and mannerisms could be assimilated. For now, it would do to just get him out of the way.
It grabbed his arm and its fingers sunk through the flesh. Brown eyes flashed open in an instant, but the poison was already working through his body. Disbelief and anger flooded through those eyes for just a moment before they rolled back and his body stilled completely.
It left its fingers there for just a moment longer, making sure that the job was done. Then it bound his hands and dragged him from the bed.
~~~~
“You are quiet this morning,” Teyla observed.
Ronon shrugged. “Aren’t I usually?”
“Yes,” she admitted. “But this feels...different.”
He shrugged again and went back to his breakfast. Teyla watched him closely, but she couldn’t see anything that was outwardly wrong with him. He was right - being quiet was a given with him. And considering she had had an appointment with Carson that morning, she wasn’t surprised that he was being even more reticent than usual. Ronon was always there for her, always by her side, but he didn’t discuss the baby.
Giving him a pained smile, she focused on her food.
~~~~
Lorne kicked at the Satedan, using more force than he had the last time. There was a rumble that he took for a groan this time, and Ronon slowly picked his head up, looking around in confusion.
“What happened?” he asked groggily.
Lorne shook his head. “I think we were drugged.”
Ronon sat up quickly, pulling at the chains binding his hands. “Teyla.”
“She’s not here.”
He shook his head forcefully. “No. I saw the thing that did this just before I blacked out. She’s in trouble.” He pulled at the chains again but got nowhere, finally pausing to catch his breath from the strain. “And if you’re here, I’m betting Cadman is, too.”
~~~~
When John strode into the lab, Rodney was mid-rant and Elizabeth looked as though she could use some rescuing. Crossing his arms, he leaned his hip against the table and tried to catch up, straining for a few key words that would clue him in.
“Rodney,” Elizabeth interrupted, holding up one hand. “Can’t we just let it go?”
“Let it go?” the scientist spluttered. “Elizabeth, energy readings don’t just disappear. It was like someone turned something off. But there was no one there!”
“That you found.”
“Which only strengthens my argument. We need to go back to that planet and figure out what the hell it was.”
“Why?”
“Why? Why!?” His hands were waving madly in the air. “It could be another ZPM! It could be a new enemy! It could be the Manhattan Project Pegasus-style. The point is that the readings were there and then they weren’t anymore! I need to know why!”
“I think you just got your answer,” John said quietly. “McKay needs to know.” He turned to the scientist. “You do realize that the last time you got like this you ended up destroying a planet and a solar system along with it, right?”
Rodney whirled on him. “What is with you?” he demanded. “You never like coincidences! Why aren’t you dying to get back out there and figure this out?”
“Because I’m not quite as obsessive as you are?” He suggested. Then his eyes traveled to Elizabeth’s stomach. “And I’ve got a few more reasons to stay at home these days, in case you’ve forgotten.”
Elizabeth blushed, ducking her head as she clasped her hands in front of her. Rodney just rolled his eyes though and threw his hands up.
“Right. Of course. Babies trump all.”
“They at least trump crazy paranoia.”
“That’s enough,” Elizabeth said firmly. “Rodney, I will think about it, alright?”
He sighed. “Fine. Of course, with Captain Lazy-pants over here trying to influence you, I doubt you’ll be thinking very hard.”
Her eyes blazed. “Are you suggesting that I can’t make an unbiased decision?”
He stepped back slightly, caught off-guard by her sudden anger. “What? No, of course not. I was simply pointing out -”
“I didn’t think so,” she said coldly.
With that, she turned to walk about of the lab. John flashed a wide-eyed look at Rodney and then hurried to catch her, his long stride bringing them back together once they were out in the hallway.
“That was a little harsh,” he said under his breath.
Elizabeth sighed, passing a weary hand across her eyes. “I know.”
“You okay?”
“I’m fine.”
“Elizabeth.”
“I didn’t sleep well last night,” she said quietly. “But it’s fine, John. Not sleeping kind of comes with the territory.” She gestured to her stomach.
He gave her a dirty smirk. “Maybe I can help out with that.”
She blushed like she had back in the lab, but this time her eyes glowed. “I certainly wouldn’t object to you making yourself useful, Colonel.”
~~~~
They were both on their feet now, kicking at the only door out of the small room. It barely even shook at the impact. Lorne fervently wished there were some old-fashioned wooden doors around, but Atlantis didn’t have a single one. Of course not - the Ancients didn’t want people kicking them in.
He slammed his foot into the door one more time, as hard as he could.
“Dammit!” he cursed. His shoulders were starting to ache from his hands being chained tightly together in front of his body. “We’re never going to get through.”
“Then maybe someone will hear us,” Ronon gritted, continuing his assault.
“We’ve got another problem.”
The big man took a break, chest heaving as he turned to look at him. “What?”
“If I’m here, and you’re here, and those things actually took on our shapes and dumped us here...where the hell is Sheppard?”
“You think they would take him too?”
Evan grimaced. “I can’t think of a single reason they wouldn’t.”
~~~~
Elizabeth cocked an eyebrow as John followed her into her office. “Don’t you have work to do?”
“Not really.”
“I’m sure you have paperwork to do.”
“Don’t really wanna.”
“Trust me, I feel your pain. But I need those reports, John.”
He walked around the desk until he was on her side, something he didn’t normally do these days. He knew that she needed to hold onto her image of authority - even if they were sleeping together and having a baby - and she had asked him early on to respect that. He had pouted like a little boy, but complied, just like she knew he would. As much as he might tease her and flout some of the rules, he also cared about her and respected her. It was mutual and it was one of the many reasons they worked so well together.
He wasn’t respecting the line this time, though. Instead of perching on the corner of her desk like she expected, John just continued forward, eventually causing Elizabeth to stumble backwards.
“John, what are you -”
He didn’t stop, his eyes holding a strange intensity she had never seen before. She tried to put more space between them but her back hit two walls and she realized that she was trapped in the corner. John moved until he his body was brushing up against hers, one hand braced on the wall by her head while the other wrapped around her waist.
“You work too hard, Liz,” he murmured, his nose pressed into her cheek as he breathed her in deeply. “You should take a break.”
“John,” she said firmly, trying to ignore the way he felt against her. “We can’t do this here and you know that.”
One finger trailed along her swollen stomach. “You know,” he said thoughtfully, “I did save your life. The least you could do is be grateful.”
It wasn’t just the words that made her snap out of it. The tone he used was one she’d never heard from him before - twisted, almost bitter, but with a hint of lewdness that made her skin crawl. His eyes moved up from her stomach and he stared at her. It only took Elizabeth three seconds to know something with the utmost certainty.
This wasn’t her John Sheppard.
She didn’t know if there was something inside of him or if something had taken his form, and the distinction was very important. If it was the former, she would need to be careful about the level of force used. If it was the latter...she’d order it shot the first chance she got. But she had to be sure, and the only place to do that was the infirmary.
“C’mon, Lizzie,” he prodded, and she almost shuddered in disgust as the nickname rolled of his tongue, “you don’t really expect me to stay if I’m not getting something good in return, do you?”
The angle was all wrong for a punch. Instead, she gripped his shoulders and leaned in as though she were going for a kiss and at the last possible second, she slammed her right knee straight between his legs. The force threw him backwards just far enough for her to slip away and his body curled in on itself as he growled at her.
“Bitch,” he hissed. “You’re gonna regret that.”
“Dr. Weir?”
Chuck was standing in the doorway, looking between her and John. When she saw the dangerous way that John was looking back, she knew that they needed to away from him as soon as possible.
“We need some Marines down here now,” she said, edging towards the doorway. “Tell them that Colonel Sheppard is to be captured and brought down to the infirmary under heavy guard, but not harmed. Also, find out where Lorne and Ronon are. Chuck,” she said sharply, trying to pull his attention away from Sheppard. “Do it now.”
“Ma’am, get behind me.”
“He’ll rip right through you.”
“Damn right about that,” John growled.
“He’s coming after me no matter what. Because I’m the one he wants.” She took a deep breath. “Do what I told you to, Chuck.”
“Yes, Dr. Weir.”
It was obvious he didn’t want to leave her, but eventually he turned and leaped for the console. He put the call out to any and all Marines near the control room, praying that someone was close.
Elizabeth counted to ten and ran.
~~~~
Laura looked up from her book when the door opened and Evan stepped in. She frowned, wondering if everything was okay - he never just dropped by. Some part of her knew that it was because she had so effectively frozen him out, but he had respected the line. Now he was walking towards her with an incredibly focused gaze and she pushed herself to her feet.
“You okay?”
“I don’t understand,” he said, stopping less than a foot away.
“You don’t understand what?”
“Why you would keep me from my baby.”
She felt like she’d been kicked in the chest. “Evan -”
“A mother should want to do the best thing for her child. That starts with choosing a strong mate that can protect them. You did that, but then you keep me at arm’s length. You won’t let me take care of you, Laura, and that doesn’t make sense.” He paused. “It’s not what a mother would do.” He took a step closer, backing her into the little table beside her bed. “Do you love this baby at all, Laura?” he asked softly, eyes moving across her face. “Or are you just doing this because you have no other choice?”
Tears stung her eyes, the words feeling as though he had reached into her and pulled out her heart. “What the hell is wrong with you?” she demanded. This wasn’t like him. This was so far removed from the Evan she knew that felt like she had to be having a nightmare. “Get the fuck out of my room! NOW!”
She shoved him, suddenly desperate for some room to breathe. But he barely budged, his hands coming up to grab her shoulders and slam her into the table.
“I’m not going anywhere, Laura. You’re done calling the shots.”
~~~~
“What does it feel like?” Ronon asked, staring at her.
“What does what feel like?” Teyla questioned in response, not opening her eyes as she continued to meditate.
“Having something grow inside of you.”
Her mouth quirked - this was really the first time Ronon had taken any interest in the baby itself. “It feels amazing. You can feel its heartbeat as it moves with yours. You can feel it breathe. It is the most wonderful thing I have ever experienced.”
“So it was worth it?”
She was silent for a moment. “I do not like to have my hand forced. But I chose my mate,” she smirked at that, “and I am choosing to accept this change and build my life around it.”
“But what’s the point?” he asked. “It’s going to die anyway.”
Teyla’s eyes snapped open as Ronon lunged for her. Her instincts saved her as she rolled quickly to her left, arms wrapped around her stomach protectively. She got to her feet and whirled to face her lover, eyes blazing in anger and confusion as he faced her in a fighting stance.
“Look at his parents,” Ronon continued. “We’re warriors. We fight. We fuck. We die. And that’s what’s going to happen to this kid. That’s no life. Better to kill him now before he learns enough of hope for it to choke the soul out of him.”
“You do not really believe that,” she said. “I know you, Ronon. You may have wished for death at one point in your life, but that is no longer the case. You have friends now. A family.”
“Doesn’t matter,” he said, shrugging. “None of it matters.”
Teyla backed up toward the bench by the window, reaching down for the bantos sticks in her pack. He didn’t stop her, simply watched with a cold calculation.
“What matters,” she said calmly, spinning one of the sticks, “is this - I will not let you harm our child. Not even if I have to kill you.”
“Then at least one of us will be free.”
~~~~
“Rodney, you’re going to work yourself into a stroke. It’s not worth it, lad.”
“But it doesn’t make any sense!”
Carson sighed, stopping in the middle of the hallway and turning to face his friend. “Alright. Then try explaining it to me in the simplest of terms, like I have no idea what any of this is about.”
“You don’t!”
“Rodney...”
“Fine! There was an energy reading. A pretty strong one, too. And then it just went away!”
“Like someone flipped a switch.”
“YES! That’s what I keep saying but no one seems to understand -”
“So suppose someone turned it off.”
“But who?”
“Forget about that for now,” Carson said. “You’ve been beating at that question for the past twenty-four hours and it hasn’t gotten you anywhere. Try a different one.”
“Like what?” Rodney demanded.
“Like...” Carson drew the word out as he thought. “Like why we turn things off in the first place.”
He frowned. “That’s a ridiculous question.”
“But an easy one to answer. Just do it, Rodney, for the love of God!”
“Fine! Because...because we’re done with it! Because we don’t need it anymore...” He trailed off suddenly, snapping his fingers. “Because we’ve accomplished our goal,” he finished quietly. His eyes lit up. “The reading went away when we stopped at the river!” The light faded and he looked at his friend with a foreboding grimace. “Whatever flipped the switched had accomplished its goal when we got to the river.”
~~~~
John woke up slowly, groaning as he cradled his head in his hands. His brain felt like it had been turned to mush and as he rolled onto his side, he suddenly wondered if he was going to be sick. He lay on his side for a few minutes, breathing deeply, and the nausea eventually passed. A few more breaths and he got to his feet, leaning against the wall for support.
The wall of a very small closet.
It was a closet on Atlantis - that much he was sure of. But that didn’t give him any clue as to where he was in the city or what had happened to him. His mind was still foggy, but the last thing he could remember was Elizabeth kissing him softly as she rolled out of bed. He had buried his face back in the pillow and tried to ignore the fact that he had to get up, even as she slid his radio onto his ear with a smirk. And then...
And then he had woken up here.
He glanced down at his watch and realized that a few hours had passed since that morning. He frowned - was anyone looking for him? He was supposed to have a sparring session with Ronon before lunch, so someone had to have noticed that he wasn’t there. He reached up for the radio and tapped it.
“Elizabeth?”
There was no response. John said her name a few more times before trying Ronon and then Lorne. When all he got was static or silence, a cold knot formed in the pit of his stomach.
“McKay?”
“Sheppard?”
“Oh, thank God,” he breathed. “Where the hell is everyone?”
“Rushing to save Elizabeth from you.”
He froze. “What?”
“Where are you?”
“I don’t know - locked in a closet somewhere. What do you mean, saving Elizabeth from me? Is she okay? TALK TO ME, MCKAY!”
“I’m pulling up the city’s life signs detector now. Carson and I are coming to get you.”
~~~~
When the door finally opened to reveal a puzzled Marine holding a P90, Ronon barely had time to check his kick and keep his foot from colliding with the soldier’s chest.
“Sir?” he asked, staring at Lorne as he lowered his gun. “We’ve been trying to reach you.”
Both men shouldered past him. “Where’s Cadman?” Evan demanded.
“I don’t know, but sir, that’s not the problem...”
“The problem is that we’ve got doubles running around in our place,” Ronon growled.
The Marine’s eyes widened. “That would explain it then.”
“Explain what?”
“Everyone’s been called to the gate room, sir. To stop Colonel Sheppard from hurting Dr. Weir. It doesn’t sound like it’s going too well.”
“Shit,” Evan cursed. “What about us? Have you seen our doubles?”
“Actually...last I knew, you were on your way to see Lieutenant Cadman in her quarters. And you,” he turned to Ronon, “you were meditating with Teyla in the sparring room.”
Knowing that Weir was in danger made things more difficult, but Lorne couldn’t leave Laura in danger, either. Ronon seemed to be on the same wavelength, and with a quick nod, they both ran off in different directions, hoping that they weren’t too late.
~~~~
John was only barely aware of Carson and Rodney somewhere behind him. He was running full tilt toward the gate room, led on by the sounds of shouts and weapons being fired. He was hoping they were set to stun, but either way he wasn’t comfortable with people shooting around Elizabeth, even if it was to save her life. He just hoped she wasn’t in the middle of the fray.
He rounded a corner to find a copy of him disarming a Marine and knocking him unconscious to the floor. John knew his men and he knew their strengths - if this thing was taking them down this easily, it was even more dangerous than he thought.
It turned around and John was suddenly staring at himself. Everything was identical to his reflection in the mirror, except for the cold intensity of the eyes. Their gazes locked for just a moment and then it was turning again, raising the 9mm it had stolen from the Marine and aiming it off to the right.
It took John half a second to realize that Elizabeth was the only thing in the line of fire. There was no one left standing to protect her and she had nowhere else to go.
He reached her in three long strides, just as his copy stilled his arm and took aim. John threw himself into her, sending them both to the ground and he heard the gun fire and felt the burning in his shoulder before the tiles crashed into his chest and forced the air out of him. He kept his body over Elizabeth’s, meeting her eyes for just a moment.
“You okay?”
She looked at him with such wonder and then gently touched his face. “It’s you,” she whispered.
“The real McCoy,” he quipped weakly.
More bullets ricocheted around them and he tried to wrap himself around her completely. Elizabeth clung to him even as she turned her head to look at Rodney, who had his own gun out and pointed at the copy.
“Rodney, it’s not John! Kill it!”
His face blanched, but when he saw the copy aim its gun at John and Elizabeth again, he fired. His hands were shaking and he had to use both of them to keep the gun steady, but he emptied the entire clip, his stomach tightening as the thing that looked like his friend recoiled with each hit. Eventually, the copy dropped its weapon and fell to the floor, a stunned look on its face.
For a full minute, there was only the sound of heavy breathing and scattered moans. John turned his head to see that all of the soldiers that were on the ground were moving - he didn’t want to think about something wearing his face and killing his men. Then he looked down at Elizabeth, torn between relief and guilt.
“‘Lizabeth.”
She shook her head and gave him a soft smile. “I knew it wasn’t you,” she said quietly. “Not right away, because it sounded just like you. But when it cornered me, I knew...You would never hurt me, John, especially not intentionally. You’d never cross that line.”
He kissed her desperately. Even though she was usually the first one to chastise him for public displays, she returned the gesture, letting them have just a moment where they could worry about each other and not the rest of the world.
“Sorry,” he murmured, pulling back. His hand drifted down to her stomach. “How’s the baby?”
“I think she’s fine.”
He raised an eyebrow. “She?”
Elizabeth shrugged. “I’m just taking a guess.”
He thought about it for a second. “I could live with that. You’re going to see Beckett, you know that right?”
“Yes.”
“Good, because...” He was looking around again and paused, frowning deeply. “Where are Ronon and Lorne?”
~~~~
Lorne watched himself fly out of a doorway, into the hall, and crash into the opposite wall. The sight made him just stop and stare for a moment, at least until Laura came out of the room wielding a baseball bat. The look she was giving his replica was downright ferocious, but when she caught sight him standing at the end of the hall she frowned, lowering the bat slightly.
“Evan?”
He barely had time to register that she was okay. His copy was already back on its feet and instead of going after Laura again, it charged Lorne, catching him in his midsection and driving them both the ground. He felt the air whoosh out of his lungs and then it was straddling him, hands locked tightly around his throat as it tried to kill him. It didn’t take long for Evan’s vision to start to tunnel, his chest burning as it demanded oxygen. The thing above him only pressed harder, its face set into a frightening grimace that he was sure he had never used. He kicked with his legs as hard as he could, hoping he could dislodge it or at least loosen its grip - if he died right here, there would be no one left to protect Laura, and he couldn’t let that happen.
He heard the crack right as he was about to lose consciousness. Sucking in air loudly, he coughed a few times and looked up to see Laura standing over him, her bat raised high. Oddly enough, he suddenly remembered when she told him why she had brought something so ridiculous all the way to Atlantis with her - her older brother had won the championship game with that bat and a two-run home run his senior year only to be killed six months later by a drunk driver. She handled it now like she had been swinging it all her life, and he was struck by the image of a little Laura Cadman practicing with her big brother’s bat in the backyard.
“Laura,” he croaked.
She looked like she was going to say something, but the thing stirred again and she took another swing at its head. The crack that sounded this time was ugly and it didn’t make any more movements or sounds.
“Looks like you showed up just in time to get your ass kicked, flyboy,” she said.
He didn’t comment on the way her hands shook as they ran through her hair - he just accepted the help up as he got to his feet. She didn’t pull away when he was standing though, and he squeezed her hand.
“I thought I was distracting it for you.”
“I can go with that.” Her voice was almost steady, but there were tears in her eyes and she still didn’t let go of him. “So you went to off-world and brought back a murderous alien that looked just like you. Awesome.”
“It wasn’t just me.”
He was about to explain when Sheppard came barreling into the hallway, two Marines behind him and his left arm bleeding. The colonel took one look at the body on the ground and then looked straight at Laura.
“You’re sure it’s him?”
She nodded without any hesitation. “Yes, sir.”
“Good.” He turned to Lorne. “Ronon -”
“Sparring room.” Evan looked at Cadman. “Can I borrow the bat?”
She smirked at him and handed it over. “I want it back when you’re done, flyboy.”
~~~~
It didn't really look as though Ronon needed much help.
“You're weak,” he sneered, keeping himself between the copy and Teyla. “I expected more.”
“You were almost fully awake when I took on your form,” it said wearily, wiping at a cut right next to its right eye. “I couldn't integrate as much of you as I wanted to.”
“What are you?” Teyla asked. “Why are you here?”
“It's who we are. We copy. We become.”
“You tried to kill our women,” Evan said, tightening his grip on Laura’s hand, the bat in the other. “Why?”
The Ronon-copy shrugged. “They weaken you. We were making better versions of you.”
John took a step forward, his tone dangerous. “Weaken?”
“You care about them more than your lives. All three of you. You would sacrifice yourselves for them and for the life that they carry inside of them.”
“It's also how our race survives,” he argued. “We...we procreate.”
“It's weak,” it countered. “We would have become you and we would have endured. Our kind has no need for this..” it gestured at Teyla, “this lunacy.”
“You're the crazy ones,” Lorne said. “You attacked the people we care most about and your two companions are dead.”
“You're not far behind,” Ronon added.
The copy eyed him cautiously, subtly shifting its stance. Teyla tightened her grip on her bantos sticks, but Ronon simply smiled.
“That's not a smart move,” he warned.
It slid its eyes away and then it moved, lunging at John and Elizabeth, deeming them to be the easier targets. John had enough time to get himself in front of Elizabeth, but it was Ronon that crashed into it, driving them both to the ground. They wrestled for a minute before the Satedan reared back, his large hands on either side of the alien's head. Nobody in the room could keep from flinching as he snapped its neck, letting the copy crumple lifelessly back to the floor.
“Damn,” John whispered.
“You can say that again,” Cadman agreed. “That's all of them right? There aren't any more hiding around here?”
Lorne frowned. “We had a fake Sheppard, fake me, and fake Ronon. So we must have picked them up on the last off-world trip. But that would mean...”
“There should have been a fake Rodney,” John finished.
“And yet there wasn’t,” Rodney said, walking into the room. He frowned. “I’m actually thinking about developing a complex.” He stopped, pointing down at the dead copy of Ronon. “That’s disturbing.”
“How do we know you’re you?” Laura pressed. Evan shifted himself in front of her slightly, tightening his hold on the bat. “Maybe you’re just better at hiding it.”
“Since when have I been better at hiding anything?” he asked. “Trust me, I didn’t get body snatched.”
“We’ve still only got your word though -”
Ronon rushed forward, ripping the bat out of Evan’s hand and charging Rodney with it. The scientist squealed in horror, raising his hands in self-defense and throwing himself down onto the ground. The bat stopped half an inch from his cowering form and Ronon smirked, letting go with one hand and offering it to McKay.
“It’s him. A copy would have tried to defend itself. Those things were all about survival.”
Rodney accepted his help to get up but quickly snatched his hand back when he was on his feet. “So you thought threatening my life was the best way to prove my identity?”
He shrugged. “Worked, didn’t it? Plus, I probably saved you from some time in the brig and being poked by Beckett.”
“He has a point, Rodney,” Elizabeth said.
“But why not you?” Laura pressed. “That doesn’t make any sense.”
“I believe I understand,” Teyla said, setting her bantos sticks back in her bag. “I do not want to offend Rodney, though.”
He waved his hands dismissively. “Whatever. Like I’m not constantly overlooked anyway.”
Everyone but John and Cadman refrained from rolling their eyes, but both Elizabeth and Teyla wore small smiles.
“They were survivors,” the Athosian explained. “That was their only purpose. To endure, it said. So they chose three strong men in positions of power.”
“Alpha males,” Elizabeth offered.
“I believe that is what you call them, yes. Taking over John, Ronon and Evan’s lives would have given them a good chance at survival. To them, taking over the life of one who studies and experiments would not be appealing. To them, it would serve no purpose.”
“That actually makes a lot of sense,” John said slowly. He glanced over at the dead copy and swallowed hard. “So, we can cross that planet off in the database, right?”
Elizabeth nodded. “Absolutely.”
“Good. Now that that’s out of the way, you’re going to see Beckett.”
“John -”
“No arguing, Elizabeth.”
“Laura and Teyla should go too,” Lorne said. “They all got attacked.”
“Ronon got here in time,” Teyla countered. “I was not harmed -”
“If you’d like, we could carry you down to the infirmary,” Ronon offered.
John and Evan both looked like they were okay with that suggestion, prompting the women to raise their flag of defeat. They followed them out of the sparring room until Rodney was the only one left. He stared at the dead copy of Ronon for a minute and then seemed to realize that he was alone with the body. With an exaggerated shudder, he turned and left the room.
~~~~
“You wanted to see me, Colonel?”
John looked up from his computer to see a very pregnant Laura Cadman standing in his doorway. He missed having the spunky lieutenant out in the field, and he knew that her team did as well. Not for the first time, he realized that some sort of childcare system was going to have to be set up soon. All three women needed to get back to work eventually, and the idea that there wouldn’t be more pregnancies in Atlantis was foolish. John wasn’t normally one to quote movies, but Jeff Goldblum had really nailed it in Jurassic Park - life finds a way. Better that they get on board with that now.
He inwardly shook his head. That wasn’t why he called Cadman to his office. What he needed to talk to her about was much more pressing.
“You should shut the door,” he warned.
“Am I in trouble, sir?”
“Not professionally.”
“I'm not sure I understand.”
John leaned back in his chair, tossing his stylus onto the desk. Not for the first time, he wondered if this was a mistake. Elizabeth had told him to mind his own business, but at the same time, he had seen the worry in her eyes. She knew just as well as he did that something needed to change between Cadman and Lorne before they were both hurt too much to come back from it. He would have much rather had Elizabeth do the talking, but both she and Teyla had told him about Cadman's innate ability to brush things off and get herself out of conversations she didn't want to have. As her CO, he had a better chance of holding her attention, or at least keeping her in a room long enough to get his point across.
He still didn't want to start yelling at a pregnant woman that he considered a friend, though.
“You and Major Lorne.”
Her entire body tensed and John struggled to keep his face passive. Laura's temper was something of a legend, especially since she had gotten pregnant.
“You said this wasn't professional, sir,” she said coldly, not making eye contact.
John frowned, not understanding at first. He replayed what he had said in his head and his eyes widened slightly.
“It's not,” he assured her. “We're cut off from Earth, Lieutenant, and even if we weren't, I trust you and Lorne enough to keep your heads on straight. Not to mention the fact that I'm breaking quite a few rules myself.”
She relaxed slightly, sending him a small smile. “You and Dr. Weir fit, though. The bastards in the IOA would be making a mistake if they separated you.”
“Well, let's just hope that we don't have to face them anytime soon.” He realized that he was almost saying he wished that they would remain cut off from Earth, and he wasn't sure how he felt about that. Regardless, he didn't have time to deal with it at the moment. “Anyway. Back to you and Lorne.”
“Yes, sir?”
Ever since he had met her, Elizabeth had been trying to teach him about tact and diplomacy. It wasn't that he thought they were useless – he was just naturally bad at all of that. Not to mention the fact that a lot of times in the field, it was easier to shoot first and then ask questions later. He had gotten better since coming to Atlantis – he knew she'd be really mad at him if he came back from every new world having sparked an interplanetary incident – but that didn't change the fact that he still wasn't good at it.
He and Cadman weren't that different from each other. He had seen her record. Her performance was outstanding. The most common complaint was that she couldn't keep her opinions to herself – apparently, when she thought someone was being an idiot, she had a hard time not pointing that out, regardless of their rank. It was something he could identify with.
Elizabeth would have gone the diplomatic route here. John was just going to go for it and pray for the best.
“You're breaking his heart, Laura.”
She looked as though she'd been punched, and John almost winced. “Sir?”
He leaned forward. “Look, you and I aren't ones to usually bullshit. So I'm just gonna throw this out there, okay?”
Laura nodded.
“He's in love with you. I'm not really sure when that happened, but it's true. And he loves that baby, even though he hasn't met the munchkin yet.” He couldn't help but smile – he knew exactly how Lorne felt on that one. “But you're not giving him any room to maneuver in. You show up, you...well, you know...and then you're gone again. That's not exactly fair.”
He had expected her to get angry. He had expected her to tell him that this was none of his business and to rigidly ask to be excused. Instead, she seemed to shrink in the chair, her face going pale and her eyes watering.
“He told you?” she asked in a small voice.
“Yeah, he told me. Poor guy needed a friend.” He paused. “I don't know how you feel about him. I don't know if you just chose him because he was there, or because you didn't want to die. And honestly, I'm not gonna judge you either way. We can try, but the truth is...nobody but Elizabeth and Teyla can understand how hard it was. And I get that. I do. But...you can't use him like he doesn't have any feelings, either. That's not right, and...and you're better than that, Cadman. He won't ask you for anything, even though he wants it all with you. And he'll do anything you ask him to do, even if you won't give him anything in return. He's a good man. He deserves...well, he deserves your honesty, if nothing else.”
It had been a long time since he had said so much in one go, and he fell silent, wondering if he had said enough, or if he had gone too far. With a sinking feeling in his stomach, he realized that two tears had fallen onto Cadman's cheeks, and she was pressing both hands to her tummy. He had made a pregnant woman cry – he wasn't sure if Elizabeth or Teyla was going to kill him first.
“I thought I was doing the best thing for him,” she said quietly. “I thought I was giving him his freedom.”
John frowned. “I'm pretty sure he just wants you and your baby.”
Laura looked down at one of her hands and he wondered what she was thinking about or remembering. After a minute, she slowly closed her fist and nodded, pushing herself to her feet.
“Can I be dismissed, sir?”
“I guess that depends on where you're going.”
“Carson mentioned that Evan likes to paint in one of the empty bays when he's not on duty. I thought I'd go see him.”
John leaned back again and smiled. “That sounds like a good idea, Lieutenant.” She turned away, but he stopped her as she opened the door. “Cadman?”
“Yeah?”
“You love him back, don't you?”
She smirked over her shoulder at him and then walked away.
~~~~
Evan breathed deeply as he focused on the sunset in front of him. It had been a long time since he’d had the chance to paint, and he’d almost forgotten how relaxing it could be. He let his mind sink into the singular act of moving the brush across the canvas without obsessing about the finished project. It was just one stroke after another, a rhythm that most people didn’t understand and couldn’t feel. It was a part of him though, and despite the fact that he would never be great at the finished project, he could take joy and comfort just in the doing.
It had been two weeks since the incident with their copies. The bruises that had appeared on Laura’s neck still haunted him, but they were fading. He knew that he hadn’t been the one to hurt her and yet it still didn’t take away his guilt. Something wearing his face had used its looks to get close to her and then had tried to kill her. It left him wondering if she ever had nightmares where he hurt her, which in turn gave him nightmares of his own. It was a vicious cycle.
He couldn’t help but be proud of her, though. Even as pregnant as she was, she had defended herself and their baby with every ounce of strength that she had. She swung that bat like a pro, and she had saved his life as well. Laura Cadman didn’t take crap from anyone - especially not murderous alien life forms intent on hurting her baby.
“That’s beautiful.”
Her voice was quiet, but it still startled him. A splash of red extended slightly farther than it was supposed to, but he didn’t worry about it, turning instead to face her.
“Thanks.” As they always did, his eyes traveled down to her stomach. “How are you?”
Laura smiled. “Pretty good.” She placed a hand on her tummy. “A lot of kicking going on in here.”
She couldn’t miss the way his eyes lit up. His mouth opened like he wanted to ask, but something swept over his eyes and he seemed to second-guess it. Another wave of self-loathing swept over her. The colonel had been right - in an effort to keep her own heart safe, she had steadily broken down the one man who meant everything to her. Evan had given her everything she asked for, anything she needed. He had put his life on the line to save her and she had just taken it all without giving him anything in return. She may have been terrified of being honest about what she was feeling, but it was her own fault that they had come to this point. She owed him.
Reaching out, she took his free hand in hers and pressed it against her stomach. One of the reasons she had chosen to seek him out at that moment was because the baby was being especially active, and she was happy that it hadn’t changed on her way down to the bay. Lorne’s face exploded into a huge smile as he felt his child kick against his hand and he sniffled, blinking back tears. Laura kept her hand pressed over his, her heart swelling and breaking at the same time.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” she whispered, her own tears slipping out.
It wasn’t what she had planned on opening with. She had spent the whole walk down to the bay trying to figure out to explain to Evan why she had treated him the way she had. She wanted to apologize. She wanted to tell him how he made her feel. She wanted to ask him to forgive her. To stay with her. To want her. But now that she was standing there with the baby kicking and his eyes boring into her like that, the only thing she wanted to do was kiss him.
“I know,” he said softly, surprising her. He swallowed roughly and blinked, his hand twitching against her. “It’s okay, though,” he continued, his voice thicker. “It doesn’t change the fact that I’ll still take care of you and the baby. You don’t have to want me. Just please...please don’t shut me out of your life, Laura. Please.”
She blinked at him. He wasn’t making any sense -
You don’t have to want me.
He thought she was just using him, that she didn’t want to be with him. He was standing there, offering her his entire world, everything he had, and he thought she was saying that she didn’t want to be with him.
It was all too much for her. The tightening in her chest threatened to leave her without any air at all. A small cry escaped her and she reached up for his face, pulling his mouth down to hers. The kiss was different from the desperate and needy ones she usually initiated - this time she kept it soft and slow, holding him to her until he dropped the paintbrush and pressed both hands to her hips.
“I did this all wrong,” she murmured when she pulled back. She ran a hand across his brow and sighed. “I’m usually good about being upfront about what I want. But you...you scare the shit out of me, flyboy.”
Evan frowned, still unsure of what was going on or being said. “I’m sorry -”
Laura shook her head. “I’m the only one who should be apologizing here. I was a coward and that’s how we ended up here. So I’m just going to do what I do best - blurt out exactly what I’m thinking.” He smiled a little at that. “I’m glad it was you that saved my life after the tea with Sulara. I had no idea what I was going to do and I kept trying to come up with someone I could just have meaningless sex with and my options were not looking good. And then you kissed me, and...I liked you, Lorne. Before all of this happened. I just thought it was a silly crush, but then we made a baby, and...” She took a deep breath. “I didn’t want to be your right thing.”
Emotions were flying across his face in record time, but confusion was what finally settled there. “What do you mean?”
“You’re a good man. One of the best. And I knew that you were going to feel obligated - to me, to the baby. And I know that you love this baby. I know that you’re going to be a great dad. I just didn’t want...I didn’t want you to think you had to be with me because it was the right thing to do. I wanted you to be free to choose.”
He squeezed her hips and the gesture was oddly comforting. “I never felt trapped, Laura. I never spent a single second with you that I didn’t want to.” He blushed slightly. “I didn’t sleep with you the first time just because I wanted to save your life. I wanted you. Still do, if you’re willing to have me- ”
She kissed him again. And again. By the third time he had caught on as well, grinning as he kissed her back. His painting and his guilt forgotten, he traced her jaw with his mouth, skimming along the skin until his lips were pressed against her throat.
“Carson said we can find out the gender tomorrow,” she said, her fingers digging into his shoulders as she clung to him. “I don’t know about you, but I think I wanna know...”
Evan pulled away and nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I wanna know.”
“So you’ll come with me?”
He tangled one hand in her hair and kissed her hard. “Yes,” he murmured against her lips.
~~~~
“Sorry I’m late, Carson,” Laura said to the doctor’s back as she stepped into the exam room.
He waved her off. “You’re right on time, dear. My last -” He stopped as he turned around, his face blossoming into a smile when he realized that Lorne was with her. “Major. It’s a pleasant surprise to see you here.”
Laura was holding his hand tightly and she blushed a little. “You said we could find out the gender...”
Carson was still grinning like a fool. “Yes, yes. Of course. Let’s get you on the table, shall we?”
Evan helped her up and then his hand was right back in hers. Carson couldn’t wipe the smile from his face; Laura had always come to these appointments alone. He had asked her about it once, but her stubbornness was impressive and eventually he had just thrown his hands up, muttering under his breath.
They seemed to be okay now.
“This will be a bit cold,” he warned.
“Always is,” she muttered.
Despite expecting it, she still flinched a little when the gel hit the bare skin of her stomach. She soon forgot the discomfort though, because she could see the baby on the screen of the ultrasound, and her grip on Evan tightened.
“Ah, there we go,” Carson said. “You can see the wee little one right there -” He stopped, frowning. “Oh my.”
“What?” Evan asked sharply.
He looked up to face them, wincing slightly. “Laura, my dear, it would appear that you’re having two babies.”
Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open. “Twins?”
“Aye. Looks like two boys.”
She turned to look up at Lorne, but he had a goofy smile on his face as he stared at the screen. The idea of taking care of one baby was terrifying enough for Laura, but two of them...she wasn’t sure she could do this.
“Evan...”
He smiled down at her and then kissed her softly, brushing the hair away from her face. “Twins,” he whispered.
It was stupid, but suddenly she didn’t feel so afraid anymore. Despite all the help that Evan had been offering since day one, Laura had still convinced herself that she would be doing this alone. That was huge, and at times it had paralyzed her. She wasn’t alone, though. She never had been. And if Evan wasn’t freaking out, then maybe she didn’t need to either.
“Twins,” she echoed, surprised to find that she was smiling, too.
Evan nodded and then laughed. “Sheppard’s gonna be pissed.”
“Why? Because you managed to make two babies and he only made one?”
He shook his head. “Ronon and Teyla are having a boy, too. Which means his little girl is gonna grow up surrounded by three boys.”
Carson rolled his eyes. “Oh dear Lord.”
Evan looked at Laura like Christmas had come early. “You’ll let me tell him, right?”
She couldn’t help but laugh. “Sure, flyboy. If that’ll make you happy.”
He kissed her again. “This pretty much all makes me happy,” he whispered.
~~~~
John couldn’t sleep. There was no nagging guilt or nightmares plaguing him - both of which he was used to - just normal thoughts.
He turned over and let his eyes rest on Elizabeth. These days she could only sleep on her back and he knew that it was wearing on her. She preferred to be curled up on her side, nestled against him. More than once she had shot a reproachful glare at her bulging stomach, but he usually just chuckled and kissed her. Soon enough they would both have trouble sleeping for another reason.
He reached out slowly, gently resting his hand on her stomach. His little girl was definitely moving around in there and his chest tightened in fear and excitement. After he and Nancy had split, he simply assumed that he wasn’t ever going to have children. And once he got to Atlantis…well, the Pegasus Galaxy wasn’t exactly a family-friendly environment.
Elizabeth had come as a complete surprise. He had a job to do in Atlantis, a city and a population to protect. He could admit that he loved the adventure of it all, too – going to different planets and meeting new people. Spaceships and alien races, sieges and fighting to stay alive…all of that he had expected. Falling in love with his boss hadn’t been on the menu. He had tried to ignore it at first. There was a limited female population in the city and Elizabeth just happened to be one of the very attractive ones that he got along well with. Of course, that argument went out the door when he factored Teyla into the equation, since she fit the bill, too. Eventually, he had no other choice but to accept that he had fallen head over heels in love with Elizabeth.
His eyes traveled up until they rested on her face and his chest impossibly tightened again. She had believed in him from day one. Even when he managed to spark an interplanetary incident, she still stood by him. She seemed to have a sixth sense when it came to his team, sending in backup long before anyone else would have. She defended him to the brass back on Earth and had even managed to get him promoted when they would rather have taken the command out of his hands. He would give anything not to let her down.
John realized it was that thought that was keeping him awake. Soon, he and Elizabeth were going to have their daughter with him, and a whole new host of problems would crop up. He’d have the city to worry about, as well as the woman he loved and now there was a little one that he was going to have to keep safe. What if he couldn’t do it? What if he screwed up and something happened to one or both of them?
It wasn’t just physical dangers he was worried about, either. He wasn’t good at relationships. He still couldn’t believe that Elizabeth loved him enough to put up with him on a daily basis. He had already failed as a husband once – what if he failed again? What if she decided that he wasn’t worth it and walked away? What if she took their daughter away?
John shook his head and sat up, swinging his legs off the bed until his feet hit the floor. He was feeling sick to his stomach now, and he let his head fall into his hands. Elizabeth was only a few days from giving birth and suddenly, he wasn’t sure he could do this.
“John?”
His head snapped up to see Elizabeth coming awake, frowning at him in the darkness. “Go back to sleep, ‘Lizabeth,” he whispered.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
She gave him that look and then heaved herself out of bed. Rubbing at one shoulder absently, she walked around until she was on his side and then sat down next to him. She ran her fingers through his short hair, her eyes searching his for a long time. He felt completely bare under her scrutiny, but it was a feeling he’d become familiar with over the years.
“You might as well talk to me. With the way this little girl is kicking, I won’t be going back to sleep anytime soon.”
John looked down at her stomach and breathed deeply. “You ever feel like you’re on a train that’s racing out of control?”
“Almost every day. The perks of leadership.” She followed his gaze. “This has all happened pretty fast, huh?”
He nodded. “She’s gonna be here soon. Like, really soon.”
“Yes, she is.” Elizabeth paused, biting at her bottom lip. “I know this has been crazy. We pretty much went from friends to parents-to-be, living together, in less than a week’s time. If this…if it’s too much for you…if you need a break…tell me now.”
His eyes shot up to hers. “You think I want out?”
“I can see the fear in your eyes, John –“
“You’re damn right! I’m terrified, Elizabeth. We’re having a baby. What if I can’t protect her? What if I can’t protect you? What if I just suck at the whole fatherhood thing? I didn’t exactly have the best role model, you know.” He paused, staring at her in disbelief. “How can you be so calm about this?”
“I trust you.” She leaned in and kissed him softly. “You told me that you love me, John. Out on the balcony. Did you mean it?”
He cupped her face in his hands. “I did. I still do.”
“Then we’ll be okay. Things won’t be easy – we both know that. We have to learn to juggle the life-sucking aliens with the everyday things like changing diapers and discipline. But we’ll just take it day by day. I’m not asking you to marry me or to have more kids –“
“But I want those things.”
Elizabeth stopped. “What?”
“That’s what’s so damn scary. I thought I was pretty comfortable with the idea that I’d never have a family. Once I got here, I was even pretty sure that I’d die young in some fiery gun battle or shipwreck. But now…I wanna marry you. I wanna have more kids. I wanna meet our little girl. And I don’t…” He swallowed roughly. “I don’t wanna fuck this up, ‘Lizabeth.”
She held his face tightly so that he couldn’t look away. “You listen to me, John Sheppard. You are a good man. An amazing man. And I have never once regretted putting my faith in you. Not professionally, and not personally. You are so much better than you give yourself credit for. I love you, and our daughter is going to love you. I can promise you that.”
A tear fell onto his cheek and she leaned forward, catching it with her lips. That only made more tears fall but John maneuvered his mouth until he could kiss her, needing her to understand the things he couldn’t say. She did though, just like she always had.
“More kids, huh?” she asked once they had pulled back for air.
He nodded. “Well they’re just so much fun to make. Plus, there’s all the practice time in between.”
Her mouth twitched. “Practice does make perfect.”
John grinned at her, the knot in his chest already smaller. “Exactly. Just wait until Carson clears you medically after Isabelle is here.”
Elizabeth smiled. “Isabelle? That’s the one you like?”
“You’re still good with it, right?”
She nodded and then looked down at her stomach. “Isabelle. I think it’s perfect.”
John kissed the top of her head and held her against him. They sat for a long minute until he realized something.
“You didn’t answer me.”
“Hmm? About what?”
“About the marrying thing.”
Elizabeth looked up at him. “I thought you meant you might want to some day. You want to marry me now?”
“Ring’s in the drawer,” he said quietly. “I’ve had it since we found out we were having a girl.” He paused. “It can wait. If you’re not –“
She kissed him softly. “Yes.”
A grin erupted on his face. “Yes?”
She nodded. “Yes.” She kissed him again. “A million times, yes.”
~~~~
John leaned back in the chair, watching Elizabeth as she did paperwork. It felt like this was how he spent most of his time now, just watching and waiting. Every time she went to send his team on a mission, he talked her out of it, citing any number of reasons that they shouldn’t go just yet. They both knew what he was doing. Her due date was too close for him to seriously consider going off-world. He had a penchant for getting shot at and captured, and he wasn’t sure either of them could handle that right now.
Elizabeth had one hell of a poker face, but he could still see when a contraction hit. She was obviously trying to ignore them. He had learned early on that sometimes it was easier not to argue with her. Instead, he made sure to keep track of the contractions and let her just continue through her day as though she weren’t nine months pregnant.
As he watched her jaw clench, though, and snuck a look at his watch, he realized that the time for being quiet had passed. Looking down at his tablet, he sent a quick email and then looked up at her.
“You think maybe it’s time to head down to the infirmary?”
Elizabeth didn’t even look up. She just waved him off and continued to read her reports. “I’m fine, John. She won’t be here for another week at least.”
“You know that those due dates Carson gave are just guidelines really, right? I mean, if Bella’s ready to come, she’s just gonna come.”
She raised an eyebrow at that one. “Bella?”
John shrugged. “Kid’s gotta have a nickname.”
“It’s pretty,” she said warmly. “But she’s not coming yet. And until she does, I have reports to finish.”
He held his hands up. “Fair enough.”
They worked in silence for another five minutes before Carson appeared in the doorway. Elizabeth was working her way through another wave of pain and he gave her an exasperated look.
“I hear your contractions are quite close together, my dear. Don’t you think it’s time to see where we’re at?”
She immediately gave John an accusing look. “Very sneaky, Colonel.”
He shrugged. “I think you’re a little too attached to your timetable, ‘Lizabeth. Bella seems ready to come out now. And if there’s one thing I know about Weir women, it’s that once they make up their mind about something, it’s best just to go along with it.”
She was still trying to glare at him, but she couldn’t stop the smile that was growing either. “She’ll be a Sheppard, thank you very much.”
That hit him unexpectedly and he stared at her in wonder. “Are you sure?”
“Of course I’m sure.”
John was up and out of his seat in a heartbeat, leaning over the desk so that he could press a kiss to her mouth. It was short but it still left her blushing, her eyes darting between Carson and the glass walls of her office.
“You’re incorrigible,” she muttered.
“Absolutely.”
“This is all quite lovely,” Carson interjected, “but can we get you down to the infirmary now?”
Elizabeth sighed. “Fine. But when this turns out to be a false alarm, you both have to agree to let me get back to work.”
The two men shared a glance before nodding. “Alright,” Carson agreed.
“John?”
“Scout’s honor.”
“Okay then.”
She pushed herself out of her chair and John was right there, one arm wrapped around her waist. Elizabeth gave him a smile before wincing with pain again, her hand reaching out for his so that she could squeeze it. John tried to be stoic about it, but she was really hurting his hand and he gave Carson a pained look.
“I think she’s ready.”
~~~~
“Guess Bella proved you wrong,” John said gently, staring down at the baby in his arms.
“Well, her father likes to do things his own way. I guess we shouldn’t be surprised that she’s following in his footsteps.”
She was wiped out, but happy. The labor had been long and painful and she had burst into tears when she heard her daughter’s cries for the first time. John had been by her side through it all, holding her hand and pushing the hair out of her face. Words had never been his strong suit, but his constant murmurings that she was going to be alright, that she was doing great, had really kept her going. And his broken whisper of ‘I love you’ right before Bella came out had made her chest tighten in the best possible way.
And now they were all together. She reached up for John’s hand and smiled at him, her eyes fighting the sleep that was trying to drag her down.
“I love you,” she said quietly.
“I love you back,” he whispered. Leaning down, he kissed her forehead. “Get some sleep, ‘Lizabeth. Me and Bella will be here when you wake up.”
“Promise?”
“Cross my heart.”
She fell into a warm, dreamless sleep.
~~~~
Teyla watched Ronon as he slept, fighting back the urge to trace his features with her finger. He had stayed with her most nights during her pregnancy, even after the point where she no longer wanted to have sex, and she found that she was incredibly grateful for his presence. She had always felt a close kinship with the Satedan – whether it was because they were both outsiders in Atlantis, or just their natures in general – and he had honestly been the only one she wanted in her bed after finding out about the pregnancy.
Her feelings for him had since grown deeper. Ronon was a strong man and he had taken good care of her. It was more than that, of course. They had spent so much time together over the past nine months and though he had shown no outward interest in the details of the baby, there were times when she would catch him staring at her stomach. She could see the fear there – the terror that she understood was keeping him from getting fully invested in this – but she could also see the wonder. She hoped that Ronon would come to see that he was an integral part of this little family, that she believed in him even if he didn’t believe in himself.
Pushing herself out of bed carefully, she made her way into the bathroom. Her contractions were growing closer and closer together and she knew that it was almost time. She kept track of them, just like Dr. Beckett had instructed her to. Even without the record-keeping, though, she knew that her son would be here within the next couple of days. Everything in her body was telling her that it was ready, and the baby seemed eager to come out into the world.
Another contraction moved through her as she stood at the sink, and she realized that the timetable might be shorter than even she realized. They were only a few minutes apart now, and the pain was becoming more intense. When it faded and she was left out of breath, leaning against the counter, she knew that there would be no more sleep for her that night.
“Ronon?” she called.
He was awake in an instant, moving toward the bathroom. “You okay?”
“I think it is time that you took me down to the infirmary. Our son seems intent on arriving tonight.”
“I’ll call Beckett.”
“Tell him that I wish to walk down myself. He does not need to send a gurney or a nurse. We will meet him down there.”
“You sure?”
“Yes.”
He nodded once and radioed Beckett. Then he gave Teyla his arm and they began their slow walk down to the infirmary. The hallways were quiet at that time of night and the two of them didn’t speak. Occasionally Teyla would need to stop as the pain of the contraction swept through her and Ronon would watch her, helpless to take any of it away. When it had passed, though, she would squeeze his arm and smile up at him and they would continue on.
When they finally made it down to the infirmary, they found that their friends were already down there waiting for him. Laura looked like she was about ready to burst, Evan sitting beside her, and Elizabeth stood nearby, holding Isabelle as John paced. Teyla smiled when she saw them all – it felt good to have the love and support of so many.
“Ah, there you are,” Carson said as he came out into the waiting room. “I was about ready to send someone after you.”
“My apologies, Carson. I seem to be moving a bit slower these days.”
“I should hope so – sometimes I’m convinced you three think you’re invincible! How far apart are the contractions?”
“Only a couple of minutes now.”
“Then let’s get you in and take a look.” He came to her to her side and took her arm, but he stopped when Ronon didn’t follow. “Are you coming, lad?”
The big man shook his head. “I’ll be here.”
His words hurt, but Teyla tried not to let it show. “I would like for you to be there, Ronon.”
“It’s better if I’m not.”
She gave him a tight smile even though she felt like crying. “Of course. It is your choice.”
Elizabeth handed Isabelle over to John carefully. “I’ll come with you, if that’s alright.”
“Your company would be very much appreciated, Elizabeth,” she replied, taking the other woman’s hand.
John stared after them in disbelief before turning to Ronon. His friend was already walking away though, his shoulders slumped and his hands clenched into fists. He couldn’t believe that he was just leaving like that, abandoning Teyla –
“Lorne –“
The major stood up and reached out for Isabelle, holding her carefully against his chest. “I’ve got her, sir. Go.”
John didn't stop to think. He spun on his heel and stomped down the hall after Ronon, anger clouding any common sense that he might have had. The big man may have been one of his closest friends, but at the moment he was being a bastard, and John had every intention of telling him so - and maybe he would try to beat some sense into him while he was at it, size difference be damned.
He caught up with him much further down the hall, far out of earshot from the infirmary. Without any warning, he seized his friend by the shoulder, turned him around and slammed him up against the nearest wall.
"What the HELL is wrong with you?" he demanded, his expression furious and his voice dangerously low.
Ronon didn't even fight back, which told him more than words ever could. His head hung low and his jaw was tense, but he let John keep him pinned to the wall.
"I shouldn't be here," he said.
"Shouldn't be..." John couldn't even finish the sentence. "The ONLY place you should be is in that infirmary holding Teyla's hand. She's having YOUR baby, remember?"
Ronon shook his head. "They're both better off without me."
He stared at him in disbelief. "My God...that's your SON being born in there!"
Fire finally flared in Ronon's eyes and he met John's stare fiercely. "That's right. MY son. And I don't want him to be anything like me. I was more than willing to save Teyla's life, Sheppard, but I'll only make things worse if I stay in their life."
Some of the anger faded out of him and his grip loosened a little. "What?"
Ronon swallowed hard. "Look at what happens to the people I care about." He sighed, shaking his head. "Look at ME. Look at the life I've lived. I don't want that for my son. Teyla's a good person. She might be the best person I've ever known. She'll do a great job raising him. They don't need me making things difficult." He dropped his gaze again. "I don't want to disappoint Teyla."
Understanding flooded through John and he realized that he was staring at a man who was at a point he had once known well. Letting go of him, he took a small step back.
"The only way you'll disappoint her is you don't get to know your kid. You didn't just save her life - she CHOSE you. And like you said, Teyla's one of the best people around. So her choosing you means something."
Ronon's shoulders slumped, and John realized he had never seen his friend look so defeated before.
"I don't know how to do this," he admitted, his voice almost too deep to hear.
"None of us do," John replied. "But you've got a damn good woman in there about to go through a very painful and emotional experience. Are you really gonna let her do that alone?" He paused. "C'mon, man. She's asking for you."
That made his head come back up. He searched John's eyes as though searching for the truth, and when he found it, he nodded. Without another word, he started heading back towards the infirmary, John close behind him.
Lorne and Cadman were still sitting just outside, though now Laura was pacing nervously. They both stopped and looked up when Ronon came through, Lorne nodding at him in approval. He just moved past them and into the infirmary, heading for the curtain that had been pulled around Teyla.
He found her inside, Elizabeth sitting next to her and holding her hand. Stopping just inside the curtain he watched them, suddenly unsure of what to do. Teyla saw him first and smiled, her eyes weary, but warm.
"Ronon," she greeted, relief evident in her voice. "I am glad you're here."
Elizabeth smiled as well, nodding for him to come take her place. He stepped forward, gingerly taking Teyla's hand as the other woman headed out.
"I'll be right outside if you need anything," she promised. "Good luck."
"Thank you, Elizabeth." She waited until she was gone, and then she turned her attention back to Ronon. "Carson says it might be a long while until the baby is here."
He nodded, still feeling painfully awkward. "I'm not very good at this."
"You are doing fine," she assured him.
"I don't want him to be like me," he blurted, tensing slightly as the words came tumbling out.
Teyla didn't hesitate. "Really? Because I would like him to be much like you."
He frowned - she knew his story better than anyone. "How could -"
"I do not wish your history upon him," she clarified. "You have lived a difficult life, Ronon, and though you came out stronger, there are many that would have been destroyed by it. But I want him to have your strength. Your honor. Your sense of loyalty. You are a good man, and I want us to raise our son to be the same."
For the first time since he had found out she was having a boy, Ronon felt himself relax slightly. There was peace and assurance in her eyes, and it painted over his own doubts and fears. Settling down on the chair next to the bed, he watched as she rode out a contraction, her face contorting and her grip on him tightening.
"Does it hurt?" he asked, suddenly feeling stupid and useless.
She gave him a weak smile. "Yes. Much more than being shot, even. But I think he will be worth it."
“Have you thought of a name yet?”
“Yes. I believe I like Mykal, for your brother.”
The big man swallowed roughly, staring down at her in awe. “You don’t have to do that.”
“I know. But I want to.”
He continued to stare at her for a long minute. “You’re sure you want to do this with me?”
“I have never once doubted it.”
She said it with such calm assurance and conviction. Ronon leaned forward and kissed her softly, squeezing her hand.
~~~~
Laura wandered into the lab, trying to keep herself from sighing yet again. She felt like she was doing that a lot lately; she was just so bored. Her due date was only about a week away and there was nothing in Atlantis for her to do except wait. She understood that she couldn’t go off-world with her team – the very thought of trying to fit in one of those puddle jumper seats made her cringe – but there had to be something she could do. It didn’t help that her expertise was explosives, and those were most definitely out of bounds while she was pregnant. Sometimes she wondered if Lorne was ever going to let her play with them again, since she was the mother of his children. She foresaw a lot of arguments about that in their future.
“Wow.”
She turned around to see Rodney standing there, his eyes wide and glued to her stomach.
“You got a problem, McKay?” she asked, crossing her arms over her chest.
“You just…I mean, Zelenka mentioned that you were big, but I haven’t seen you in a few days and wow.”
“Right. Well how about you carry twins and we’ll see if you can keep your girlish figure?”
“What? Oh. Hardy-har.” He rolled his eyes. “What are you doing down here anyway? Don’t you have something to do? Reading a mothering book or decorating a nursery?”
“I gotta say, McKay. Your way with women just astounds me.”
“Seriously, I have important work to do. Don’t you have an elsewhere to be?”
“If I did, I wouldn’t be down here.” She finally let the sigh out. “C’mon, McKay. I’m bored. Nobody will let me do anything!”
“Like what? Blow up an alien spaceship?”
She froze, thinking that over. “That would be so cool right now.”
“And it’s so not gonna happen! Even with Lorne off-world, he’s got every soldier in the city keeping an eye on you.”
That brought her up short. “Excuse me?”
“Oh please, like you didn’t know?” Rodney stopped, frowning at her. “You didn’t know? I mean, it’s not that surprising. Elizabeth’s been at the top of their priority list since day one – I actually heard Sheppard threaten a Marine once because he didn’t keep an eye on her – but since you three got pregnant, the orders extended to you and Teyla. Apparently carrying a child trumps everything else, which I really don’t understand –“
“Big shocker there. Rodney McKay still thinks he’s the center of the universe.”
“Now that’s just ridiculous. Scientifically speaking –“
Laura didn’t hear anything else he said. She’d been having contractions here and there for about a week now, but this one was strong enough to bend her forward slightly. She caught the edge of the table and leaned on it, pressing her other hand to her stomach. Rodney continued to ramble on as she rode out the pain, which really didn’t surprise her in the least. As the pain subsided she took a deep breath and tried to straighten up again. Her eyes locked on something on the floor though, and all the air came rushing out of her lungs.
“McKay.”
He either didn’t hear her or didn’t deem her interruption important enough.
“McKay.”
“I just think that if the scientific department was a little more appreciated…”
“RODNEY!”
The use of his first name finally made him stop. “What?”
“Did Evan happen to give you any of these threatening speeches?”
“He did, actually. It was quite unpleasant and barbaric –“
“Good.”
“What? Why good?”
She pointed to the puddle on the floor beneath her. “Because my water just broke and he’s off-world. Which means you get to take me to the infirmary.”
He stared at the floor. “Like hell I am. The infirmary is coming to you.” He fumbled for his radio. “Carson, we need a gurney NOW. Cadman is having her baby and she’s making a mess in my lab and you need to get up here right now!”
Laura rolled her eyes. “Such a gentleman, McKay.”
“This is about as good as it gets,” he admitted.
She couldn’t help but be impressed by the speed with which Carson and a couple of nurses got to Rodney’s lab. Another contraction had already begun to kick in, and though she wasn’t timing them, she knew it couldn’t have been more than a few minutes between them. Apparently her boys were ready to come, and they weren’t going to take their time about it.
Once Carson was there though and giving her that reassuring smile of his, she felt better. She wanted Lorne there – wanted him there more than anything she’d ever wanted before – but she knew that she was in the safest hands possible. Carson and his team got her up onto the gurney and strapped in without a hitch.
“Coming, Rodney?” the doctor asked as they began to wheel her away.
“Of course not!”
Carson stopped and turned to look at him. “Really? You’re going to tell Major Lorne that you abandoned the woman he loves as she was about to give birth to his children? That seems uncharacteristically brave of you.”
“What? She’s got you! She doesn’t need me!”
“True. But you were here when the labor started. The Major might think you had an obligation to see this thing through. Of course, he’s a rational man. I’m sure he’ll understand.”
“Well,” Laura hedged. “He’s not completely rational when it comes to the babies.”
“Or to you, my dear,” Carson reminded her. “Oh well. Do let us know when the Major gets back to Atlantis, Rodney.”
They were almost out of the lab when Rodney came barreling through, stopping when he was next to Laura.
“Just don’t ask me to do any of that weird labor breathing stuff.”
She was in the midst of riding out another contraction and glared up at him as she took his hand. “Just hold my hand and shut up, McKay.”
He nodded. “Right. Piece of cake.”
~~~~
“You had them without me?”
Laura looked up to see Evan walking into the room, muddied and tired, but with an insane grin on his face. He slipped off vest and gun belt, leaving them by the door before crossing the room to stand at her bedside. She had both babies in her arms and she was exhausted, but she felt right. The people that meant the most to her in two galaxies were with her and everyone was okay.
“Hey, guys,” Evan murmured.
Laura gave him a concerned look. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” he said, waving her worry off. “We ended up hiding in a ditch for a little bit. Nothing to worry about.” He reached out and ran a finger along each boy’s forehead. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t here.”
She shook her head. “It’s okay. You’re here now.” She smiled down at the babies. “Luke, Aaron, this is your daddy.”
“Hi, Luke,” he said, kissing the top of his head. “Hi, Aaron.” He did the same thing with his other son. “They’re beautiful.” He raised his eyes to Laura’s, surprised to see them filled with tears. “You’re amazing.”
He perched himself on the edge of the bed and kissed her softly. They stayed like that for a long time, never taking it any deeper, just enjoying the contact. When they finally pulled back, he placed one last kiss on her forehead.
“How bad was it?”
“Easily the hardest thing I’ve ever done.” She shifted Luke in her arms. “You wanna hold him?
”
Evan’s eyes lit up. “Yeah.”
He took him from her arms and cradled him against his chest, making sure that the blanket rested between the baby and his muddy shirt. Luke stared up at him with wide eyes, not making a sound.
“I really wish I coulda been here,” he said quietly.
Laura shrugged, moving Aaron to a more comfortable position. “It’s okay. I had McKay.”
His eyebrows shot up and he dragged his attention away from his son. “McKay?”
“He was with me when I went into labor and Carson convinced him that you would kill him if he didn’t stay with me through the whole thing.”
Evan chuckled in disbelief. “Well that explains that, then.”
“Explains what?”
“When I came back through the Stargate, McKay was there. He clapped me on the shoulder and glared at me before saying ‘You’re welcome’ and muttering under his breath as he walked away. I couldn’t figure out what the hell he was talking about.”
“Yeah, well, I did a number on his hand, so you might want to actually thank him later.”
“I will.”
They sat quietly for a long time. No one came in to bother them and the little family enjoyed the peace, getting acquainted with the newest members and being thankful that everyone had come through safely. Somewhere along the line, they switched babies so that both of the boys could meet their father. They might have been twins, but there were subtle differences in their faces and Evan traced them all out with his eyes, just as Laura had done when they’d been handed to her after the birth. He wanted to know everything about them, to never leave them ever again. He knew that that wasn’t possible; he still had a job to do, on top of being a father. But for now it was just enough to be there with them and Laura.
“Hey flyboy.”
He looked up to see her lying back against the pillows, a small smile on her face. “Yeah?”
“I love you.”
Something caught in his chest and he couldn’t breathe. Feeling the tremor moving across his bottom lip, he leaned forward and kissed her again, a little harder this time.
“I love you too,” he whispered.
“You better,” she joked. “I pushed two babies out today while you were off having fun.”
“Guess I’ll just have to make it up to you, then.”
“Trust me, flyboy,” she said, a playful smirk on her face, “you’re going to.”
He felt his neck and the tops of his ears burn, but he didn’t care. He was home.
~~~~
The cafeteria was mostly full, but Lorne found a seat next to Sheppard. He settled down into it awkwardly, his hands full with his sons.
“Cadman got you on baby duty?” Sheppard asked, finishing off his sandwich.
“She begged me to take them so she could have a long, hot shower uninterrupted. Do you mind…?”
“No. Here, pass him over.” He took Luke from the major, grateful that the couple had decided to keep one of the boys in blue and the other in green. It certainly helped the rest of the city to tell them apart. Of course, that was only until the boys got old enough to discover the mischief they could cause just by switching clothes. “It seems like they’re getting huge already.”
Lorne snorted. “Tell me about it. Where’s Bella?”
“Elizabeth’s got her. I’m supposed to go up and relieve her so that she can get some lunch soon.”
“She’s actually taking lunch breaks these days?”
“I threaten to keep Bella with me all day long if she doesn’t.”
“Nice.”
“That’s not the word she uses for it.” He nodded across the room. “Look who just walked in.”
Lorne looked up and saw Ronon and Teyla coming in, Mykal resting comfortably in his father’s arms. There were times when the Satedan still looked uncomfortable in his new role, but he was getting better, and Teyla was always there encouraging him with a warm smile.
“Glad to see he’s making progress,” Lorne commented.
“I guess none of us realized he was having trouble with the idea of fatherhood,” John replied. “Teyla’s helping him, though. And he loves that kid.”
“Does he love her?”
“I think so. I have the feeling there won’t be any grand declarations, though. They’ll just wake up one day and realize that they’re together.”
Lorne nodded – that made sense. “You’ve got your own wedding to plan.”
“I’m not planning anything,” he countered firmly. “’Lizabeth is in charge and I like it that way.” He paused. “What about you? You proposing to Cadman anytime soon?”
“Not yet. We’ve got a ways to go before we’re ready for that.”
John peered at him closely. “You’ve got the ring in your pocket, don’t you?”
“Never go anywhere without it.”
Both men laughed at that, and then Ronon and Teyla were sitting down with them, smiling in greeting.
“Is there something funny?” she asked.
Lorne shrugged. “Life.”
Teyla thought about it for a moment. “Indeed. When we first met the Torvaris, I never would have guessed that things would turn out this way.”
John grunted. “Elizabeth asked me if we should go visit Sulara, now that the babies are here.”
“She’s joking, right?” Lorne asked.
“No.”
“We should invite her here,” Ronon suggested.
“What?” John asked, surprised. “Why?”
“They didn’t mean to cause us any harm. Sulara thought she was giving our women a gift.” He shrugged. “And in a way, she did. Besides,” he added, “if she comes here, we don’t have to worry about what’s in the food.”
“Ronon is right,” Teyla agreed with a smile. “I will talk to Elizabeth about it and we will work something out.”
John grimaced. “I’m not leaving any of you alone with her.”
“Ditto,” Lorne agreed.
“I am sure we’ll find an acceptable compromise.”
Lorne sighed. “That’s her way of saying she’s getting her way isn’t it?”
Ronon nodded. “You should be used to it. Cadman doesn’t seem like the type to roll over.”
“I guess it’s the diplomacy I’m not used to. Laura just tells me I’m wrong.”
“Elizabeth prefers tact,” John offered. “Of course, she can hit you with zingers that you don’t even realize were insults until two days later.”
Teyla took a sip of her tea, her eyes dancing. “Perhaps you should just count your blessings, Colonel. That is how your people put it, is it not?”
John looked up to see Elizabeth walking towards him, their daughter in her arms. Grinning like a fool, he nodded.
“Trust me, Teyla. I am.”
Please leave feedback for this author HERE
Author(s): failegaidin
Fandom(s): Stargate: Atlantis
Pairing(s): John Sheppard/Elizabeth Weir, Evan Lorne/Laura Cadman, Ronon Dex/Teyla Emmagan
Word Count: 32,697
Rating/Warnings: M; graphic sex, violence, dub-con (aliens made them do it)
Beta: citymusings (whole thing), borg_princess (sections)
Summary: When Elizabeth, Teyla and Laura are given a "gift" from one of their allies, they are left in an impossible situation. Have sex or die is harsh even for the Pegasus Galaxy, but the men who love them won't let them die. Even if they're not ready to admit how they feel.
Author's notes: I still can’t believe I finished this. Huge thanks to citymusings and borg_princess for the hand-holding, cheerleading and general getting me through it-ness. None of the SGA characters belong to me.
~~~~
She could feel him scowling at her, but she focused on getting her vest on. John never liked it when she decided to come on a mission with his team, and he was more than vocal on the subject. She knew that he preferred to have her safe in Atlantis - anything could happen when they went off-world - but that didn't change the fact that this was a part of her job. Their enemies in the Pegasus galaxy were steadily growing in numbers, and that meant that they needed allies desperately. Teyla could be relied upon to make friends with locals, but there were times when Elizabeth herself needed to meet with them and speak with the leaders.
John knew all that, and understood it. That didn't make him feel any better about her going off-world.
"I'm going to start taking this personally, John."
Her words startled him out of his thoughts, and he frowned at her. "What?"
"You don't want me to join your team. That could hurt a girl's feelings."
He gave her a flat look. "You know that's not what this is about."
Elizabeth gave him a small smile. "The Torvaris have been nothing but friendly towards us. You said it yourself, numerous times."
"Well, yeah. They're alright. For a bunch of girls."
She rolled her eyes. "So you object to a culture that gives leadership positions to women?"
He was on dangerous territory now, and he knew it. "That's not what I said."
"They just make you uneasy?"
John shrugged, turning towards the jumper. "You being out in the open makes me uneasy."
It wasn't often that he voiced his feelings, and Elizabeth knew how much it cost him to say that. He had proven time and again that her safety was painfully important to him. There were nights when she revisited the Genii attack in her dreams - she could still see John's face and hear the deadly threat in his voice just before he shot Kolya. She would never question how far he would go to keep her safe. He had already proven it.
Stepping forward, she rested a gentle hand on his arm. "We'll be fine. This is just a diplomatic mission."
"You know, Rodney did the math once. Of how many missions go wrong when you come with us."
Her eyebrows shot up. "Oh?"
"The odds aren't exactly in your favor."
She was tempted to stick her tongue out at him, but she settled for narrowing her eyes instead. "Very funny, Colonel."
John's face was the picture of innocence. "Wasn't joking, Doctor. The math doesn't lie."
"Are you two ready yet?" Rodney asked, standing in the back of the jumper. "I'd rather get this over with."
"I take it Rodney didn't enjoy the Torvaris either?" Elizabeth asked.
John smirked. "You've seen how he gets with one hot woman. There were dozens."
"Yes, yes, I'm sure it was very amusing to you, Captain Kirk," Rodney shot back.
Elizabeth shared a smile with Teyla as she stepped into the jumper. "Gentlemen."
John knew that tone, and he took his seat in front of the controls. "Right. Let's get on this show the road."
~~~~
Despite the reports of John's team, Elizabeth couldn't help but expect something like the Amazons when they arrived on Torvari. They had come across numerous cultures in the Pegasus galaxy, but there were very few that supported a matriarchal society, and she couldn't hide the fact that her interest was piqued. Before they were cut off from Earth, she spent most of her days sending reports back to her male superiors, and working against the bias that women couldn't lead effectively. She knew that John and Rodney - and most of the men on the expedition, for that matter - trusted her to do her job, but she had spent too many years as the only girl on the team. It had become second nature.
The Torvaris were not the most technologically advanced of the societies the Atlantis expedition had come across. They reminded Elizabeth a great deal of the Athosians, though the leaders were of course all women. The delegation sent to meet them at the gate was warm and polite, and she found herself relaxing just a bit.
"Colonel Sheppard," a tall brunette greeted, inclining her head. "We are pleased to see you again so soon."
John returned the gesture, and Elizabeth was reminded that he could hold his own in negotiations when the situation called for it. "Sulara. I'd like to introduce you to Doctor Elizabeth Weir."
Sulara inclined her head again, although more deeply this time. "Dr. Weir. It is truly a pleasure to meet you. I cannot tell you how happy we were to find another people led by a strong woman."
Elizabeth's smile was genuine as she copied the woman. "I have to admit that I've found it a rarity in my travels. I'm very interested to see your culture first hand and to see what we can learn from one another."
"Then we will have a most enjoyable time." Sulara turned her attention to the rest of the group. "Teyla."
"Sulara. You look well."
"I am, thank you." Her eyes moved over the rest of the group - there was an obviously appreciative look as she glanced at Ronon - until they settled on the only other woman traveling with them. "I do not believe we've met."
It was plain to see that Laura Cadman hadn't expected to be singled out, but Elizabeth was impressed with the young Marine's ability to put on a polite smile.
"Lieutenant Laura Cadman," she introduced herself, bowing her head slightly. "It's a pleasure to meet you, ma'am."
"You are dressed like Colonel Sheppard - are you a warrior of your people?"
"I am."
Sulara looked impressed. "I am most definitely looking forward to get to know you and your culture, then. Female warriors are even more rare in our encounters with others." She spread her hands wide. "Welcome, all of you. We have arranged accomodations for you. I'm sure you would like to get cleaned up before the evening meal."
"That sounds wonderful," Elizabeth replied.
As they followed Sulara away from the Stargate, Elizabeth gave her people a closer look. The women of the planet obviously unsettled John, Ronon and Rodney. Major Lorne looked about warily, but managed to keep a pleasantly blank look on his face as well.
Carson seemed very excited.
"This is quite a change," he said, walking next to her. "It seems that more often than not, we spend our time off-world getting shot at or running through the forest."
Elizabeth smirked, her eyes sliding over to her second-in-command. "Well, John is usually in charge."
He gave her a hurt look and opened his mouth to respond, but Sulara looked over her shoulder at them.
"We have found the same problem whenever we let our men be in charge of the smallest things. It's easier to just leave them out of the equation altogether, isn't it?"
Elizabeth grinned wickedly. "You might be onto something there, Sulara."
~~~~
The rooms that Sulara had provided them with were lavish - thick, colorful tapestries and drapes hung along the walls, giving everything a warm glow. Though there was none of the technology that they were used to on Atlantis, there was a lot of emphasis placed on comfort, and Elizabeth could appreciate that.
The men were not quite as thrilled. Sulara explained that the men of their village resided in separate dwellings, and that John and the others would need to make their way there. The temperature in the room had dropped several degrees at that point, and John had informed Sulara as politely as he could that he was in charge of protecting Elizabeth, and that he wasn't going anywhere. Fearing that the situation could quickly deteriorate, Elizabeth placed a calming hand on his arm and smiled at Sulara.
"We prefer to keep them close by, if that's acceptable to you."
There was something in the other woman's eyes that Elizabeth thought might be amusement, and she nodded.
"Of course. Would you prefer Colonel Sheppard to stay here with you?"
"I like that idea," John said quickly.
Elizabeth only barely refrained from rolling her eyes at him. "That would be fine, Sulara. Thank you."
"Of course. We like to respect the practices and wishes of our guests." Her eyes ran up and down John's body. "And he is not unpleasant. I can understand your attachment." Before Elizabeth could respond, the brunette had turned to the other two women in their party. "Would you also prefer to be paired in rooms?"
"I'll stay with Teyla," Ronon offered quietly, his voice brooking no arguments.
Lorne did a quick calculation as he took in the remaining men. "Cadman and I will stay together." When Laura's shoulders stiffened, he hurried to explain. "It's either that or one of us stuck with McKay."
Rodney frowned. "Hey -"
Laura was already smirking. "Alright, flyboy. I'll save your butt this time."
Sulara looked at her with a straight face. "Your Major Lorne is quite anatomically pleasing. A wise decision."
There were choking sounds from Rodney, but Laura managed to incline her head slightly. "Thank you, ma'am."
Sulara turned back to Elizabeth. "I would like to meet with you for tea," she said. "So that we may speak as leaders. If, of course, that's acceptable to you."
"I would like that very much."
"Good. I will send one of my aides for you shortly." She smiled again at Teyla and Cadman. "Please, make yourselves comfortable. Our evening meal isn't too far off, and I know that you have come a long way."
With a final inclination of her head, the leader of the Torvaris turned and left the room. No one said anything until the door had firmly shut behind her, and even then, it took a few moments for someone to break the silence.
"Lovely lady," Carson said finally. "She may very well be the most polite leader we've encountered." He smiled at Teyla. "Excepting you, of course, my dear."
"What are you talking about?" Rodney exclaimed. "They're insane!"
"They're different," Ronon admitted. "But they don't seem to be a threat."
"And they are very accommodating," Teyla continued. "Not every culture treats its guests so well. I think we should be grateful and look at this as an opportunity to make friends."
"That's all well and good," John interrupted. "But I do have a question." He looked at the three women facing him. "And I'd rather not get smacked for asking it."
Elizabeth smirked. "We'll do our best to control ourselves."
"Right." He didn't look entirely convinced, but he continued anyway. "Typically speaking, men are...physically...stronger than women, right?"
Though Cadman grimaced, she nodded. "Yeah. It's pretty much biological."
"Okay. So...how are these women keeping the men out of the 'ruling class'? I mean...you would think the men would just rise up and..." He floundered.
"Take what they want?" Elizabeth finished for him.
He at least had the common sense to look a little ashamed. "Well...yeah. Kind of."
It was Teyla who answered, shrugging. "Perhaps they do not want to. Remember, we came across a group of children who believed that they had to die at a certain age to keep the Wraith away. They went to their deaths willingly. I am not saying that it is the same situation here, and I cannot speak to the men's state of mind, since we have not yet met them. But perhaps this way of life works for them. If it is all they have ever known, and they have never had a reason to change it..." She trailed off.
"So they haven't advanced enough to change?" Rodney asked.
Everyone turned to look at him - the men with surprise and chagrin at his big mouth, and the women with thinly veiled skepticism.
"Because it's only uncivilized people who think women can be in charge, Rodney?" Elizabeth asked.
Her tone was practically frigid, and even Rodney could tell that he had just fallen through the thin ice.
"There is no possible way for me to backtrack out of this safely, is there?"
Cadman shook her head. "Not likely."
~~~~
The tea with Sulara lasted almost an hour, and John was relieved when Elizabeth came back to their room. He was fairly certain that the Torvaris were friendly and they had shown them nothing but kindness, but he always felt a certain unease when Elizabeth was off-world and out of his sight. There were so many unknowns in this galaxy, and they had all had more close calls than he liked to remember. He couldn't put it into words - and quite honestly, he wasn't sure that he wanted to - but he had a desperate need to keep Elizabeth safe. As long as she was okay, he could breathe a little easier and get the job done.
"Have a nice tea?" he asked as she walked in.
"It was quite pleasant, actually," she replied. "Sulara is quite impressed with how much equality our women have. Even with the biases and unfairness that women face on Earth, I got the feeling that most of the cultures the Torvaris come in contact with are far worse."
John gave her an injured look. "We're not that bad, are we?"
She let out a little laugh, squeezing his arm as she passed by him on the way to the bathroom. "You're one of the good ones, John."
He was grinning like an idiot when she shut the door.
~~~~
After dinner, Teyla and Laura were each invited to their own private tea with Sulara as well. Elizabeth couldn't have been happier with how the visit was going. Their hosts were kind and welcoming, and so far they hadn't had any major culture clashes. The men were still uncomfortable, but the evening meal at least went a little way toward setting them at ease.
Until they sat down, they hadn't actually seen any of the male population, and none of them were entirely sure of what to expect. But when they came into the main hall, they were just like their female counterparts - warm and polite. Most of them moved toward their families, some kissing their wives as they sat. Many were fathers, and they greeted their children with obvious love. They weren't treated as slaves or as a lesser class. The gender roles were simply flipped from the way the Atlantis expedition were used to.
They stayed up late into the night. Ronon struck up a conversation with a large man sitting nearby who happened to be an iron forger. Rodney and Lorne didn't look particularly comfortable, but Carson was certainly mingling, enjoying his chance to experience a different culture without bullets and blood. Elizabeth watched them all with a smile, thankful that they were having a successful mission.
By the time she and John were back in their room, the night was more than half gone. She was tired, but content, and she smiled at John as she turned down the bed.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
She paused, giving him a confused look. "Absolutely nothing. Why?"
"You were humming."
"Was I?" She hadn't even noticed, but she just shrugged. "And is that such a bad thing?"
"No. It's just...strange, is all."
Elizabeth thought about it for a moment. "I feel strange."
John stood up straighter at that, frowning at her. "Strange how?"
She shrugged again. "I'm not really sure." Laughing quietly, she walked over and laid her hand on his arm, feeling the tense muscles underneath. "Stop worrying, John. Nothing is wrong. It was a good night. Even you have to admit that."
He nodded slowly, still watching her with wary eyes. "I guess." She didn't turn away, or take her hand from his arm, and suddenly the room felt noticeably warmer. Swallowing hard, he turned his head, gesturing to the floor. "If you'll just toss me a pillow..."
"Don't be ridiculous, John. It's a big bed."
He stared at her, unsure of what he was hearing. "You mean..."
She shrugged, turning and moving toward her bag. "You stay on your side, and I'll stay on mine." She smiled at him over her shoulder. "We're both adults."
And it was most definitely adult-rated thoughts he was trying to beat back. This was Elizabeth, though, and he wasn't stupid or careless enough to play with that line. "Thanks."
She nodded, disappearing behind the curtain that separated their washroom from the sleeping area. John stood in the middle of the room, still unsure of what exactly was going on. He believed her that nothing was wrong, but he wasn't used to her being so open and touchy, either. He wondered if there had been something in that wine they had been served at dinner, or if she had had more than he realized. Sighing, he mentally slapped himself upside the head and tried to snap out of it. He moved over to his own bags, intent on getting changed before she came back out. He paused in the act though, when a sound reached his ears.
Elizabeth was humming again.
Almost growling under his breath, John wondered how such an innocent sound could throw him for such a loop.
~~~~
He barely slept that night. The never-ending thoughts in his head were bad enough, but Elizabeth wasn't helping. No matter how many times he rolled away, she always seemed to be right there with him, the heat from her body palpable. She didn't do anything inappropriate, but their bodies were always a breath away from touching, and John found himself wondering if Elizabeth was a snuggler.
Of course, there were some other things it left him wondering as well, and those thoughts were even less safe.
He must have dropped off somewhere in the hours just after midnight, because the next thing he knew, the sun was streaming in. He rolled over, momentarily forgetting that he was sharing the bed, and he frowned when he realized that he was alone.
Well, not totally alone.
“It's about time,” McKay said, sitting on the hand-carved trunk that sat against the foot of the bed. “I thought you were going to sleep all day.”
John looked around, still trying to get his bearings. “Where's Elizabeth?”
“Sulara wanted to meet with her and Teyla and Cadman one more time before we left.” He paused. “I don't get her interest in Cadman at all.”
“She's a female warrior, Rodney. And in case you haven't noticed, these ladies like other strong woman.”
“She's a soldier. Not exactly a novelty.”
“Not for us, no. But we haven't met many other cultures that let their women fight. Or rule,” he added.
“Don't, uh...don't tell Elizabeth, but...sometimes I'm really glad that we're cut off from Earth.”
The switch made John blink as his brain struggled to catch up. “What?”
Rodney shrugged. “Don't get me wrong. I miss the coffee. And the backup when we get into fights with the Wraith, but...” He paused again, obviously trying to get a handle on his words. “If they can't get to us, they can't ever replace her. And I like Elizabeth in charge,” he added quietly.
John thought about that for a moment. “You really think they would? Take the position from her?”
“The military isn't exactly thrilled that she's in charge.”
“Atlantis would lose a lot, though. If it lost her.”
“Well it's not like she's the brains of the operation,” Rodney said, suddenly backtracking.
He rolled his eyes. “She's the heart, McKay, and you know that. Besides – who else would keep us out of trouble?”
“That's true. You'd probably be dead by now.”
“Or in the brig.”
“Maybe even both.”
“Are you two just gonna sit in here all day? They're serving breakfast.”
Rodney was up in a heartbeat, and John wasn't far behind him. “You let them start? Why didn't you come get me?”
Ronon looked at him like he was an idiot. “Because I thought these people deserved a chance to eat their own food before you descended like a vulture.”
Rodney frowned at him, muttering as he pushed past. John and Ronon just shared an amused smile.
“You coming?” Ronon asked.
John nodded. “Yeah, I'll be right out.”
~~~~
Rodney sighed. "Where are they?"
"Relax, McKay," Lorne replied, leaning against the jumper. "Sulara just wanted to say goodbye to them."
"We already had our goodbyes."
"Those were the official ones. Apparently she took a liking to our three women and wanted to have a private moment with them."
Rodney turned to John. "And you let them? Weren't you all gung-ho on not letting Elizabeth out of your sight?"
John sighed. "Elizabeth asked me to not put up a fight."
"And you've started to listen to Elizabeth since when?"
He gave the scientist a hard glare. "I always listen to Elizabeth." He shifted uncomfortably. "I don't always do what she tells me to," he added quietly, "but I always listen."
"So why did you obey her this time?"
He shrugged. "She asked nicely."
Throwing his hands up into the air, Rodney spun and walked away, giving up on the both of them.
It was another twenty-three minutes before the women joined them. None of them looked as happy as they had when they went in. Cadman was actually pressing a hand to her stomach and looking as though she was going to be sick. John, Lorne and Ronon immediately stood up straighter, and Carson stepped forward.
"Are you alright, Laura?"
She looked up, eyes focusing on him as though she hadn't realized he was there. A second later, she shook her head and dropped her hand, putting on a stoic expression.
"I'm fine, Carson. Let's get out of here."
John's eyes narrowed as he joined Elizabeth. "What's wrong?"
She gave a small shake of her head. "Not here."
Something deep inside of him knotted painfully at that. "'Lizabeth -"
Reaching out, she rested a hand on his arm, just like she had done the night before.
"Please, John," she said quietly. "Take us home."
He wanted to stand there and argue the point, but he couldn't ignore the pleading in her eyes. Swallowing down his questions and protests, he turned and gestured to the rest of his team.
"Let's move out."
~~~~
It was a tense trip home. Elizabeth pulled Carson aside at one point, and though he tried to listen in, John was unable to pick up a single word. He caught Teyla's eye once or twice, but each time she just gave him a tight smile, her expression not giving away anything except that she was uncomfortable.
The only one who didn't pick up on the tension in the jumper was McKay. He prattled on and on about his perceived imperfections of the society they had just left, which basically boiled down to the fact that he didn't feel important enough with the women running the show and not needing him.
No one listened.
~~~~
He was hoping that he would be able to talk with her once they landed back in Atlantis, but she didn't give him the chance. She disappeared quickly, and he was left with the task of unloading their things from the jumper and checking in with the men he had left in charge while they were gone. Even so, he stared off in the direction Elizabeth had rushed off to, seriously contemplating going after her until a large hand clapped his shoulder.
"C'mon, Sheppard," Ronon said, handing him a bag.
He sighed and got down to work.
~~~~
A knock on his office door ninety minutes later was a welcome reprieve. He was still unsure about whether or not he should be chasing Elizabeth down, but he couldn't shake the look in her eyes as they had left the planet. Something was definitely wrong and it bothered him that she wasn't willing to talk to him.
"Sir?"
He looked up to see Lorne standing in the doorway, looking uncomfortable. The major usually handled himself with confidence, and it was surprising to see him shifting his weight from foot to foot.
"What's up, Lorne?"
"I'm not sure if you know this, but...Dr. Weir, Teyla and Cadman are in the infirmary. They have been since we got back."
The knot that formed earlier tightened and he froze. "What?"
"They're all talking to the doc."
That didn't bode well. "Alright. Do you know where Ronon -"
"Right here, Sheppard," the big man said, coming to stand beside Lorne. "He found me first."
"They'll probably kick our asses for just barging in there, huh?" John asked.
Ronon shrugged. "You really gonna let that stop you?"
He shook his head. "No. Just stating a fact."
The paperwork on his desk already forgotten, he left the office with the other two right behind him. It was almost a five-minute walk to the infirmary and the pain in his stomach only got worse with each step. He knew the women hadn't looked right when they got into the jumper, and now they were talking to Carson and he was left with no clue as to what was going on.
The infirmary was empty except for one bed, which four people were clustered around. Cadman sat on the bed itself, with Teyla and Elizabeth standing on either side of her. None of them looked particularly good. Carson faced them, tablet in hand and a slightly panicked expression on his face. He caught sight of the men mid-sentence and rolled his eyes, letting out a tired sigh.
"Oh, dear God."
Elizabeth stood up a bit straighter, putting on her best leader face. "Can we help you gentlemen?"
"Yeah," John replied. "You can tell us what the hell is going on."
She opened her mouth to speak - probably to turn him down - but then her eyes caught his. He held her gaze, trying to tell her that he wasn't going anywhere until he knew that she was okay. The stare lasted for longer than it should have - long enough to make everyone else in the room uncomfortable - but eventually Elizabeth closed her eyes and let out long breath.
"Just tell them, Carson," she said, her voice weary and defeated.
"Are you sure?"
She nodded, and he turned to the other two. Teyla agreed with Elizabeth, and though it took her a few moments longer, Laura eventually nodded as well.
"It can't really make things worse," she muttered.
Nodding and taking a deep breath, Carson turned to face John, Lorne and Ronon. He could admit that he was afraid of their reactions, and maybe slightly terrified that they would shoot the messenger. Eyeing their weapons and taking a small step backwards, he squared his shoulders.
"It would seem that our three ladies here are with child."
That hadn't been what any of them was expecting. John looked downright baffled and he frowned, his forehead creasing. "Excuse me?"
"Please don't make me repeat it, Colonel."
"All three?" Lorne asked.
"Aye."
John turned his attention to the women, trying to ignore the pain that lanced through him at the idea of Elizabeth pregnant with somebody else's baby. "I didn't know any of you were...you know...seeing someone."
"We aren't," Elizabeth said firmly. "Any of us."
The ground slipped out from underneath him again. He placed his hands on his hips, desperately trying to get a hold on the situation.
"So...you're pregnant..."
Carson answered. "Aye. I just confirmed it with tests."
"And you're not seeing anyone..."
They all shook their heads.
"And you're not..." He floundered for a decent word, but wasn't sure there was one,"...sleeping...with anyone?"
They all shook their heads again.
"That would make three Virgin Marys," Lorne declared.
Ronon and Teyla looked confused at the reference, but Cadman just let out a hollow chuckle.
"Less virginal and more...inactive."
There was a tense moment of silence while everyone shifted uncomfortably and attempted to wrap their heads around what was going on.
"Well..." Lorne eventually tried. "There are medical procedures...for, you know...getting pregnant. Without...without..."
"Sex," Cadman supplied.
"Yeah, exactly."
"That's true," Carson conceded. "But I've checked all three of these ladies for any signs of artificial insemination, and there appears to be none. I did, however, find an unknown chemical in their bodies, which seems to be the culprit."
"It was the tea," Teyla said quietly.
It took John a second to catch on. "Wait...your tea with Sulara? She did this to you?"
"She thought she was bestowing a gift upon us. That was why she pulled us aside before we left. She was explaining why she...chose us.
"Things work differently in their culture," she continued. "When it is time for a woman to be with child, she drinks this tea and then goes out and chooses her mate. It is during this act that the child is actually sired. She told us that they have so few visitors that she was excited to be able to share this gift with worthy friends."
John held up his hands. "That doesn't even sound medically possible."
"It's not," Carson replied. "At least not in our own world. But I can assure you that they are pregnant, and that it was induced by whatever was in that tea. I'm still studying the compound."
Ronon finally spoke up. "So what happens if they don't?"
"Don't what?"
"Choose a mate."
Carson cleared his throat nervously. "From what I can tell, at this stage, the embryo is more like a parasite than a fetus. It will feed on the host's body until it is sired, or until..."
"Until what, Carson?" John demanded.
"Until the host dies," he finished, barely able to make eye contact. He took a deep breath. "We already tried aborting it."
"And?"
"We all got so sick we had our heads in the trash," Cadman said bitterly. "Apparently there's no getting rid of this thing."
"How long?" John asked, his voice oddly quiet. "How long until this thing kills them?"
Pinching the bridge of his nose, Carson sighed. "A week at the most."
The room fell silent and stayed that way.
~~~~
He followed her back to her office - he honestly didn't know what else to do. The news that she was pregnant and dying pretty much stopped every thought process he had, and his feet just went on autopilot. Neither of them spoke on the journey either, both wrapped up in their own dark thoughts.
She seemed surprised to see him when she took a seat at her desk. "Is there something I can do for you, John?"
He gave her a pained look, pacing across the office. "This is ridiculous."
Elizabeth looked down at her tablet, seeming to throw herself right back into work. He wasn't fooled though - he could see the shake of her hands.
"It is what it is," she replied. "We've come across all manner of things in this galaxy."
"Yeah, but have sex or die? That's a new one."
"True." He continued to pace and she eventually looked up at him with one eyebrow raised. "Was there something else you needed?"
John stopped and stared at her. "Don't you think we should talk about this?"
"Not really."
"This thing is going to kill you!"
"We don't know that."
Hands on his hips, he regarded her tensely. "How are you feeling?"
Her mouth tightened, but that was the only indication she gave that she wasn't feeling one hundred percent. "That's beside the point -"
"Dammit, Elizabeth! I'm not letting you die!"
She froze, breathing in deeply a couple of times as her bottom lip trembled slightly. "I don't need your pity, John Sheppard," she said coldly.
He stared at her. "That's not..."
"I have a lot of work to do. If you don't mind..."
"Elizabeth." He lowered his voice and stepped closer to the desk. "Elizabeth," he repeated. "Please tell me that you're not gonna let this thing kill you. Please just...just tell me that there's someone. That you'll...do what you need to do."
The words killed him to say, but pushed his feelings down as far as he could. This was Elizabeth, and he needed her to be okay. He may not have wanted her to be with another guy, but he wanted her alive more than anything.
"I'm busy, John," she said, her voice subdued. "Please."
He wanted to push the issue, but she had already shut down on him. Backing away from her, he bit back the angry words threatening to burst out and nodded.
"Sure," he muttered, leaving the office.
He didn't see the tears that filled her eyes as she watched him go.
~~~~
“That was a colossal waste of time,” Lorne muttered as he, Sheppard and Ronon trudged back into the jumper.
“Knew it would be,” John replied, sliding into chair.
“Then why make us go? Especially when…”
All three tensed at the unfinished sentence. It had been just a day since they had gotten the news about the women being pregnant, but already they were showing signs of illness. Elizabeth had looked surprised when John offered to head the next expedition off-world, fixing him with a curious stare as she gave him the go-ahead.
“I figured they wouldn’t have anything to offer us, which meant we could cut out early. Which means we can make an unscheduled stop somewhere.”
Lorne frowned, but Ronon nodded in approval. “Sulara?”
“Sulara,” John said grimly. “I wanna have a chat with that woman.”
~~~~
The Torvaris seemed surprised to see them, but they were greeted warmly and brought to a large waiting area while Sulara was informed of their arrival. John was worried that they might be kept waiting for awhile, but she soon strode out of her office, giving them a kind, if confused, smile.
“Colonel Sheppard, welcome. I have to admit that we are surprised by your visit.” She looked at each of them. “You did not bring Dr. Weir with you?”
“That’s what we need to talk about,” he said, fighting to keep his voice level.
“Of course. Please, follow me.”
She led them into her office, gesturing towards the couches and chairs arranged in a circle around a low coffee table. The decorations were plush, warm colors making the room seem darker than it was. The desk was large and hand-carved, covered with neat piles of parchment.
“How may I help you?” she asked once they were all seated.
It fell on John to do the talking. Shifting uncomfortably, he leaned forward, trying to keep himself from appearing threatening.
“We know about the tea you shared with our women and its…consequences.”
“Yes. The Life Ritual. We do not offer it to many outsiders, but the women you brought with you are exceptionally strong. It was because of our respect for them that we bestowed that gift upon them.”
He fought down the sudden urge to strangle her. “It’s not a gift in our culture, Sulara.”
She frowned. “You do not value new life?”
“Well, yeah. Of course we do. But this isn’t the way we do it.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I’m not really sure how to explain this. In our world, the women are usually…in a relationship when they choose to get pregnant. They choose a…a mate.”
Sulara’s frown only deepened. “Are you not Dr. Weir’s mate?”
“No, I’m not. She…doesn’t have one.”
Her eyes widened. “I misunderstood. The two of you act as though you have pledged your lives to one another. I only assumed…” She looked at Ronon and Lorne. “It is the same with Teyla and Lieutenant Cadman?” They both nodded and the woman looked genuinely pained. “I believed that I was offering them a gift. Especially to Dr. Weir…her childbearing years are narrowing and…”
John held up a hand. “We need you to fix it.”
“Fix it?”
“Make it go away. Heal them. Whatever.”
“I am sorry, Colonel, but that’s impossible. There is no way to undo the ritual.”
He was looking her in the eye when she said it and he couldn’t find any lie or hedging there. “But she’ll die,” he pressed, his throat closing. “They’ll all die.”
“Not if they choose a mate –“
“What you’re asking them to do goes against everything in our culture! Our women like to be able to choose –“
“As do ours, Colonel. You know that. I erroneously believed that our peoples were so similar that this would be a welcome gift. If I had realized that your relationships worked so differently from ours, I never would have –“
“You have to fix it,” he said fiercely, eyes boring straight into her. “I can’t watch her die.”
“If I could, I would,” she said firmly, and he believed her. “The only way for them to live is to choose a mate.” She paused. “They’re already getting sick, aren’t they?”
“Yes.”
She looked at each one of them. “I acted because of the way I perceived your relationships with your women. And though I was mistaken, I cannot believe that I was so wrong that I mistook your feelings for them. All three of you care about them. Deeply. And they for you. I cannot begin to adequately apologize for the wrong I’ve done against them, but all hope is not lost. You can save them. And perhaps begin a new part of your life with them.” She sighed, shaking her head. “I wish that I could undo this for them. I wish that I could spare them this pain. But I cannot. Please – convince them to choose.”
John stood up; he couldn’t listen to any more of this. “We need to get back.”
Sulara didn’t seem to be angered by his abrupt dismissal. Instead, she got to her feet as well, nodding sadly. “I am truly sorry, Colonel.”
He couldn’t bring himself to say anything. Turning, he walked out of her office, Ronon and Lorne following, his own tension and anger mirrored in each of them.
~~~~
Teyla had always enjoyed taking walks around Atlantis, but she seemed to be doing it more in the past two days. She supposed it was to clear her mind, but it wasn't all that cluttered to begin with. There were two choices in front of her, and that was it.
She could feel her body weakening. Her sparring sessions made that painfully obvious to both herself and whoever she was training with. Her appetite was gone and yet she was continually sick, her stomach heaving even without contents. Her sleep was no longer restful and her mind refused to focus on one point for length of time.
She was dying.
Logic had always been a strong suit for her. And logically speaking there was only one intelligent and natural choice for her to make. She accepted that. There was the small problem, however, of having to ask someone to share a bed with her in order to save her life. It was not an ideal situation.
Turning left, Teyla let herself out onto one of the bridges that spanned across the city. She hadn't seen very much of Ronon since Carson's explanation in the infirmary and she was a little surprised to see him there, just leaning against the railing and staring out into the darkness.
"Ronon?"
He turned his head slightly to acknowledge her, his gaze lingering for a moment before turning back.
"Are you alright?" she pressed, coming to stand beside him.
He was quiet for a long time, but Teyla was content to wait. Ronon was like John in some ways, unwilling - and sometimes unable - to share what he was feeling. But unlike John, who would deflect you with a joke, she found that she just needed to wait Ronon out. Eventually, he would find a way to say what he needed to say.
"I don't want you to die."
She gave him a thin smile. "On that, we are in agreement."
"Then why haven't you chosen someone?"
"What makes you think I haven't?" She had meant it as a joke, but the look he gave her made it clear that he knew she hadn't. Everyone on Atlantis knew that the three women weren't doing well, even if they didn't understand why. Teyla sighed. "Just because I know who I would choose does not mean that I have the courage to ask them."
"It's saving your life. I don't think anyone is going to turn you down."
"And that does wonders for a girl's ego," she murmured.
"Is your ego more important than your life?"
Her face fell. "No."
He shifted his body weight over to his other foot. "Look, I know you might want someone else. Sheppard, probably. But I..."
She turned her head to look at him. "Are you offering?"
He settled for a short nod. "Yeah."
A long breath left her and her smile came back. "Thank you. That saves me the trouble of having to ask you."
Not much caught Ronon off-guard, but his neck practically snapped as he turned to face her, his eyes wide. "Really?"
"I know that it is asking a lot of you, Ronon. This isn't just...there will also be a child. That it is a lot of burden to place on someone."
"A lot of burden on you, too."
She shrugged, one hand straying to her stomach. "One that I believe I am ready for." Her eyes met his. "You are sure?"
He nodded again. "Yeah." They were both quiet for a moment and then he looked around. "Probably not here, though, huh?"
Teyla let out a quiet chuckle. "That would probably be inappropriate."
"Well your bed is out of the question. It's tiny."
"I suppose that leaves your room then?"
"Unless you wanna use the floor."
A blush crept to her cheeks that she couldn't hide and Ronon smirked at her. As nervous as she may have been, Teyla knew that they would be alright. Her friendship with Ronon was strong and they were both pragmatic people. A life needed to be saved, and he was willing to do it.
Tilting her head, she turned and began the walk back to their living quarters. He was only half a step behind her, his hand warm and heavy at the small of her back.
~~~~
He touched her with a gentleness she had long expected he had, but that she hadn't been prepared to receive. Though Teyla wasn't a woman to shy away from intimate moments, she had been worried about what she would say once she and Ronon were alone in his room. She turned to face him, heart stuttering through its beats as she searched for words that wouldn't embarrass them both.
Ronon stepped forward. He didn't break the quiet stillness of the moment; his hand came up to her cheek, fingertips brushing across her skin as his eyes followed the movements. He took his time, tracing the tendons of her neck down to her shoulder, ghosting over her collarbone. It had been a long time since she had been touched in such a way and her eyelids slid shut. She took a shuddering breath, the sensations heading straight for the pit of her stomach, making her want to squirm.
He didn't speed up his movements. Instead, he brought up his other hand and repeated his path down her right side. Unable to stop herself, Teyla grabbed at his bicep, clinging to him as her heartbeat sped up, her breath coming faster and harder. Her knees quaked when both of his hands traced her collarbone to the center of her chest, fingers hovering just over her breasts.
He hadn't even kissed her yet and she felt like there was molten lava spreading through her veins.
When she finally felt his breath on her, it wasn't on her lips. He breathed against the column of her neck, his mouth just barely brushing against the skin as he inhaled the scent of her. His hands weren't idle either; they gently ran up and down her sides, never exerting more pressure than the barest hint of a touch.
Teyla couldn't breathe.
Reaching up, she took a hold of his face, lifting it so that she could meet his eyes. She was surprised to see that she was shaking - even her voice trembled as she fought to speak.
"Ronon."
It didn't take anything more than that. The gentle exploration was shelved and Ronon leaned forward, claiming her mouth with his. He grabbed her and pulled her flush against his body, holding her there firmly as his tongue broke past her lips and they tasted each other for the first time. Teyla was surprised to find that he was already hard against her, but the shock amped up her own desire and she rolled against him, suddenly desperate to feel every inch of him bare against her skin.
One strong arm wrapped around her waist and he hauled her up, her feet leaving the floor entirely. It took him three large strides to reach the bed and he didn't leave her as they both tumbled down onto the mattress. He let his forearms take most of his own weight even as he pressed down against her completely, friction driving them both to a frenzy.
Her shirt was the first casualty, and Ronon's full attention moved to her chest. His mouth toyed with one nipple while his hand focused on the other. Teyla wanted to urge him on, to push him lower so that he could sate the hunger that was practically devouring her from the inside out. But he seemed intent on bringing her to the edge and letting her hang from it, his touch causing electric jolts of pleasure to sprint across her skin. By the time his mouth was on her stomach she was writhing on the bed, grabbing the pillows beneath her head and fisting them.
He made quick work of her pants and moved to continue his path downward with the same agonizing slowness with which he had started. Teyla couldn't deny that the idea made her toes curl with pleasure, but it wasn't what she needed just then. Grabbing a handful of his hair, she tugged until he looked up at her. The hunger in his eyes drove a shudder through her and for a moment she couldn't find her voice.
"Please," she whispered. "I need...I..."
Ronon nodded in understanding. Pressing one kiss to her center that sent her head rolling back as she groaned, he pushed himself to his feet at the end of the bed. Teyla watched as he undressed himself, unable and unwilling to hide her desire. She had always found him to be an attractive man, but this...His skin shone in the low light of the room from the sheen of sweat that covered him. Well-toned muscle met her eyes wherever she let them roam and she licked her lips when he finally stood completely naked before her.
He joined her once again, checking to make sure that she was ready for him. The groan that escaped her mouth sounded foreign in her own ears, but she didn't have time to parse that thought. Ronon slid into her, causing them both to gasp and freeze. His head fell into the crook of her neck as he began to move. She held onto the headboard with one hand while the other dug into his shoulder - she was sure that she would break the skin or leave bruises at the least, but he didn't seem to mind. He just drove into her, lifting one of her legs to change the angle and wrapping it around his lower back. Teyla's eyes fluttered shut at the new sensation, but she opened them when she felt Ronon brushing the hair from her face. He stared at her for a long moment before kissing her deeply, his rhythm picking up speed. Their moans and throaty sighs filled the room, quickly consumed by the other as they refused to break their kiss for long. Teyla could feel her body tightening and coiling, but the break still caught her off-guard, ripping a scream from her as her body let go. Ronon was only half a step behind - a parallel her mind struggled to draw with how they operated in everything else, but it was too much, it was all too much - and then they lay there, tangled and spent.
After a few minutes, Ronon pushed himself off of her. She grabbed his arm as he moved to slide off the bed, shaking her head.
"Stay."
He nodded, collapsing beside her. Teyla took his hand and pulled until he turned on his side and wrapped an arm around her, pressing their bodies back together. As she drifted off to sleep with his reassuring presence surrounding her, she realized that for the first time in two days, she didn't feel ill. Strength was flowing through her body despite the exhaustion and she finally felt like herself.
Holding Ronon's hand over her stomach, smiling at the life they had just created, she let sleep take her.
~~~~
"What do you mean, I'm not going?"
Evan winced. Laura wasn't speaking loudly, but her tone was cold and dangerous. He had known that she wasn't going to react well to his order and that she was going to argue it with him despite the fact that he outranked her. He wasn't going to change his mind, though. She wasn't coming on the mission. End of story.
"You heard me, Cadman. You're not coming."
She stared at him in disbelief. "I'm a member of this team -"
"And right now you're worthless to us."
He hated himself even as he said it, and the hurt look that flashed across her face made him feel as though he had struck her with his hand. None of that changed the fact that she couldn't come on the mission.
It was only the third day since they'd gotten back from their last trip and it was already apparent that she was weakening. She couldn't get through one of her shifts without making frequent trips to the bathroom to be sick. Dark circles had formed beneath her eyes and her skin had become even more pale. She was starting to look like someone suffering from a terminal illness. Just looking at her made his stomach knot painfully and his fists clench.
She wouldn't talk about it, though. Every time he tried to engage her on the topic she either changed the subject or yelled at him and walked away.
The yelling was becoming less frequent now. She didn't have the energy for it.
"Why won't you choose someone?" he asked quietly. "We all know there's one way to save you."
Laura grimaced and then let out a hollow chuckle. "Why bother, Lorne? You're not gonna let me go off-world pregnant, either." She shook her head. "This whole thing has fucked my life over, you know that?"
He swallowed hard, eyes boring into her. "You know any of us would step up," he said fiercely, emphasizing that he was grouped in there. "You know that."
"Forget it."
She turned to walk away and Evan was surprised to find that he was shaking. She was just being so stupid. He understood that it was a complex situation, that she was being asked to do something against her will. Something no person should ever be asked. But that didn't change the fact that she was dying. He and Cadman might have had a more taunting relationship, but he considered her a friend. Family. He wasn't just going to let her die without making sure that he had done everything he possible could.
"Dammit, Laura!"
She didn't make it to the door. Evan caught a hold of her arm and spun her around, waving the door shut. He only met her eyes for a split second before he was pulling her closer and pressing his mouth to hers, pouring all of his anger and frustration into it. It lasted only a few seconds - barely enough for her to realize what was going on - and then he was pulling back, panic setting it.
He had basically locked her in a room and forced a kiss on her. He may not have wanted her to die, but he couldn't make her sleep with someone either - especially him. Loosening his hold on her arms, he took a shaky step back.
"Cadman...Laura -"
She didn't give him a chance to finish. Taking a hold of his face she pulled him back to her, kissing him fervently. It only took his brain half a second to catch up and then he was right there with her, tongue asking entrance and receiving it. All of those times he had argued with her and then entertained an errant fantasy of pressing her up against the nearest wall was actually coming true. A clumsy step forward pinned her against the closed door and he let his body weight hold her there, giving his hands the chance to roam freely.
Laura moaned as one of his hands grazed the side of her breast, biting down on his bottom lip so that he shivered. She could admit that she found Evan attractive - had even had her own fantasy or two about the Major - but the desire flooding through her now was like a tidal wave. She wondered if the life inside of her knew what they were doing and was spurring her on, giving her the very strength it had stolen from her in the past three days.
Whatever it was, she wasn't stopping. Whether she couldn't or didn't want to, she wasn't sure. It didn't matter.
Grabbing the collar of his black t-shirt, she pushed him backward until he hit the desk, both of them letting out a small grunt at the force. Evan sat down on the edge as his hands slid lower, gripping her ass and pulling her tighter between his legs. It was the contact they both wanted and yet it still wasn’t enough, the friction of their clothes driving them both a little wild. Evan couldn’t remember ever wanting someone this much and suddenly the room felt about eighty degrees warmer. He wanted out of his clothes immediately, and he wanted Laura naked and writhing beneath him.
That thought alone made him even harder.
Spinning her around, he hoisted her up onto his desk. Laura’s legs automatically wound around his hips, holding him to her tightly as he began to focus on her neck. Her fingernails dug into his arms and she let her head fall back, giving him better access. By the time he had gotten down to her collarbone she was almost shaking with need and she forced him to break contact just long enough to get his shirt off of him.
Her nails raked across his bare chest and Evan bit down her shoulder. Hands and clothes began flying everywhere, shoes kicked far across the room and belts clapping against walls before crashing to the ground. Laura Cadman was naked and gorgeous and kissing him and Evan just wanted to sink to his knees in front of her, taking his time as he made his way upward. She had other plans, though, and when her hand wrapped around him, he groaned and dropped his forehead against hers.
“Fuck, Laura.”
She grinned and nipped at his mouth. “That’s the idea, flyboy.”
They didn’t even get all of the way onto the desk. Laura maneuvered herself and slid down onto him, the edge of the desk digging into her backside. Evan scrabbled for some kind of leverage, eventually gripping one corner with his left hand and the lip of the desk with his right. The table was heavy enough to stay put but he felt precarious nonetheless. Laura simply wrapped herself around him and rocked her body into his, causing his brain to shut down completely.
It was fast and hard and Evan was grateful that Laura seemed as close to the edge as he was. He really didn’t think he could let go of the desk with one hand and keep them upright at the same time. But it wasn’t long before they were crashing over the edge together, their movements erratic and their voices hoarse. Heart still pounding loudly in his ears, Evan didn’t even wait to fully catch his breath before leaning in to kiss her.
She leaned into it for almost three seconds before she realized what they had just done and pulled away, her eyes wide with fear. Evan could tell she was ready to bolt and he stepped away from her, leaving his hands on his hips to steady her.
“Laura -”
She shook her head and dashed around him, picking up her clothing and putting it on as quickly as she could. His mind and body were still riding the high and he couldn’t put anything into words. He simply followed her lead and got dressed, reaching under the desk for one of his socks.
“Cadman -”
There was a swoosh as his hand closed over the missing garment. By the time he raised his head, though, the only thing he found himself looking at was an open door.
~~~~
John hit the practice dummy as hard as he could, over and over again, barely feeling the strain in his arms and shoulders. Sweat dripped down his face and soaked the collar of his shirt, but he kept going, eyes completely focused on the target in front of him. Finally, he let out a hoarse yell and kicked the thing, knocking it down with a loud clatter. Leaning forward, he pressed his hands to his kneecaps and struggled to get his breathing back to normal.
It wasn’t really making him feel even better. He wasn’t sure what would, honestly. He was angry as hell, but there wasn’t anything he could do about it.
Elizabeth was getting weaker. When Carson had first told them about the pregnancies, John thought that the hardest part of this was going to be watching Elizabeth choose someone else. This was worse, though. Watching her strength ebb away, the way her hands shook, the way she clutched her desk every time she stood...the dark circles under her eyes got deeper by the hour it seemed.
He tried to bring it up with her, tried to convince her that she needed to choose someone before this thing claimed her life. But every time she just shook her head and changed the subject, shooting him a glare if he tried to take it any further. He was supposed to keep her safe, and now he was being forced to watch her die right in front of him.
“SON OF A BITCH!” he growled, kicking at the fallen dummy.
“Colonel Sheppard?”
He spun around to see Carson standing in the doorway. For the first time, John realized that the doctor wasn’t looking too good, either. He had three pregnant women to deal with, and though Teyla and Cadman had already chosen someone, Elizabeth was still being stubborn. John wasn’t the only one that cared about her, and the strain was starting to show on Carson as well.
“What’s up, doc?” he asked, walking over to him.
“I was wondering if I could talk to you about Elizabeth.”
John hung his head and sighed. “I’m not sure what there is to say. She won’t talk to me about it.”
“Can I be perfectly frank here, Colonel?”
“Yeah, sure.”
Carson took a deep breath. “I expected you to offer. To save her.”
He swallowed hard, his jaw clenching. “I did. I have.” He shook his head. “She doesn’t want me, Carson.”
The doctor frowned. “I don’t believe that for one second.”
“Yeah, well...it’s true.”
“Don’t give up on her, John,” he said fiercely. “You can’t. There are a million reasons Elizabeth could be fighting this. And she has a right, you know! This damned thing is forcing her to be intimate with someone or die...that’s taking her consent away. Her control. Any woman would have the right to be angry and scared.”
His words made John’s chest tighten, and he found himself struggling to breathe again. Even if Elizabeth did agree to this, to him, she would only be doing it because she didn’t really have a choice to begin with. Nothing about this situation was pretty, and she was backed into a corner.
Carson stepped forward and rested a hand on his shoulder. “She trusts you more than anyone, John. You’re her best friend. And I honestly believe that you are the only man she would consider going through this with. You can’t give up on her.”
“And I can’t force her. I won’t.”
“I know. But that doesn’t mean you stop offering. You do what you’ve always done. You take care of her. You remind her that she’s not alone. And no matter what she decides, you stand by her.”
“And if she decides she’d rather die?” he asked quietly.
Carson hesitated, paling slightly. “I have to believe it won’t come to that. Just don’t abandon her, Colonel. Please.”
“I won’t,” he promised. “I never could.”
~~~~
“We need to talk,” he said as soon as she opened the door.
She looked tired, and he knew that it wasn't just because she didn't want to have this conversation again. He knew that it wasn't because of late nights spent in her office pouring over paperwork that would haunt her in her sleep. It was the thing inside of her, the “gift” that Sulara had bestowed upon them. Both Teyla and Cadman had chosen someone and were now going through regular pregnancies. But Elizabeth was steadfastly refusing to make that choice, and day by day it was killing her. He couldn't believe that Carson had only explained all of this to them less than four days ago. She looked like she'd been battling cancer or some other terminal disease. It made his stomach ache and his hands shake and he wanted to scream and cry and beg her to just choose someone so that he didn't have to watch her die.
“John -”
He didn't wait for an invitation or an objection. Instead, he walked straight into the room and turned around to face her, waiting for her to shut the door. Even after she had, though, it took her a long time to turn and look at him.
“You can't keep this up, Elizabeth,” he said quietly. “You have to choose someone.”
“I don't actually.”
His eyes hardened. “I'm not letting you die.”
She didn't look at him, instead moving over to her bureau and rummaging through personal items she had lying there. “This has nothing to do with you, John.”
Something inside of him snapped. “It's you, Elizabeth! That means it has everything to do with me!”
There was a fire in her eyes when she whipped around to face him. “This is my life, John! My body! Do you have any idea what you're asking me to do!?”
“That goes both ways! I know that I can't understand what you're going through, or how you're...feeling. But look at it from my side! You're asking me to let you DIE!”
“I'm asking you to let me choose my own LIFE!”
John surged forward taking a hold of her arms and pulling her up until their faces were level. “You're not choosing your life, Elizabeth!” he roared. “You're responsible for an entire city and you're letting this thing BEAT YOU!”
She tried to push away from him, but she lacked the strength. Now that he had his hands on her, he could feel the way that she was shaking, the weakness in her muscles. She felt lighter, too, and he knew that what little food she was getting down wasn't staying inside of her. With her face this close to him, he could also see the fear and the pain in her eyes, the way her lips were dry and chapped, and the thin sheen of sweat across her forehead. Everything he saw pointed at the fact that she was going to die in less than three days and even though they knew the cure, she wouldn't let him save her.
He loosened his grip, gently setting her back on the ground. He didn't let go of her though, feeling her sway beneath his hold. Instead, he slid one hand up until he was cupping her face, his fingers threading through her hair.
“Please, 'Lizabeth,” he whispered, unable to keep the tremor out of his voice. “Please. I know that this sucks. I know that this whole thing...it's not fair. It's a violation. And if I could, you know I'd make it so that you didn't have to go through this. But I can't.” Saying it ripped something out of him and his voice grew hoarse as his thumb swiped across her cheekbone. “I can't undo this. But I can save your life, if you would just let me.” He couldn't look at her anymore, at the tremble of her mouth or the death march in her eyes. Leaning forward, he kissed her temple, breathing her in even as he tried to keep himself from breaking around her. “Please,” he begged.
She was pushing him away again, her hands pressed against his chest and her head swinging from side to side. “No,” she forced out. “No. I am not...I won't let this thing...” She looked up as he finally let go of her, bracing herself on the bureau behind her. “John, please. I can't.”
That was it. He had tried everything. He had yelled at her. He had begged. He had tried reason. The painfully obvious truth was that she'd rather die than let him do this. Somehow it hurt even more than he thought it could and he took a stumbling step backwards. He opened his mouth once or twice, thinking that there was something he was supposed to say here, but he was afraid of what would come out. So he just turned away and left the room, the door closing behind him just as she collapsed to the ground.
~~~~
The knock on his door was quiet and slightly hesitant, but John hadn’t really been focusing on his paperwork anyway. The only thing he could think about was Elizabeth and the way she had turned him down. He didn’t worry or care about whether there was someone else she’d rather have – she wasn’t going to let anyone save her.
The knock sounded again and he tried to shake himself out of the dark thoughts. Looking up, he saw Carson standing there, and cold fear clutched at him.
“Hey, Doc,” he said, trying to sound casual. “Something I can help you with?”
“She doesn’t have much longer,” he said quietly, his eyes sad and his voice thick. “I tried to get her to stay in the infirmary, but she refused. She barely had the strength to walk out.”
John swallowed roughly, running a hand through his hair. “I tried,” he said. “I tried and she wouldn’t…I can’t save her,” he whispered. Anger surged through him again, swelling with the heartache. “She’s letting this thing kill her and she won’t…” He slammed his fist down onto his desk, making Carson jump. “Dammit!”
They both fell silent for a minute. Carson watched as the colonel buried his face in his hands, pressing his palms against his eyes. He waited for him to continue, but when he didn’t, the doctor decided to press.
“You should be with her, Colonel.”
“She doesn’t want me.”
“She doesn’t want you to sleep with her just to save her life,” Carson corrected.
“I…” His throat clenched as he struggled to breathe. “That’s not…it wouldn’t be the only reason.”
“Have you tried telling her that?”
John snorted, pulling his face out of his hands and wiping at his eyes. “She knows.”
“Does she? I hate to point this out, but I’m not too sure Elizabeth is seeing things clearly right now. I know you’re not one for talking and sharing your feelings, but she should know.”
“What would that change?”
“Maybe everything.” Carson paused. “Regardless, John…she shouldn’t be alone right now. I understand if she doesn’t want to be in the infirmary, but I don’t want her sitting in some lonely corner of Atlantis waiting to die. You promised me you wouldn’t give up on her. Don’t leave her now when she needs you most.”
“So…what? You’re asking me to hold her while she dies?”
“I’m asking you to love her. Something, I might add, that you already do.” He took a deep breath.
“Please, John.”
He sighed - Carson was right. “Do you know where she is?”
“I figured you would. You know her better than anyone.”
John just nodded and stood up. Part of him was terrified to find her, to watch her slip away from him. But he knew he couldn’t be anywhere else. In the end, it always came back to her.
He barely felt Carson pat his shoulder as he walked past him and out of the room.
~~~~
He found her out on the balcony. It was a usual place for them, but he was used to seeing her standing at the railing, staring out across the water. Not bundled up in the far corner, hugging her knees to her chest as her entire body shook and rain soaked her.
John bit back a curse and moved forward, sweeping her up into his arms as he leaned back against the wall and cradled her against his chest. He could feel the shivers now, rocking her entire body. Her skin was cold and her breathing was shallow.
She was dying.
He hated this. He hated Sulara for forcing this on her. He hated Carson for not being able to make it go away. He even hated Elizabeth for letting it win.
"Don't do this, 'Lizabeth," he whispered, his mouth against her ear. "It's not too late. We can still..." He tightened his hold on her. "I know I'm not on anybody's father-to-be list, but I can't...I can't let you die. I can't. I need you to..." He swallowed hard, his chest constricting. "I'll take care of you both. And I won't...you won't owe me anything. I'll still take care of you. I...I love you."
Saying it felt like a knife ripping through his chest. But he had to say it. He had to make sure that she knew.
Cold fingers moved along his jaw, sliding water droplets across his skin. She was looking at him now, her eyes searching. Her other hand came up and framed his face, thumbs running along his cheeks.
"'Lizabeth."
She kissed him. Her lips were cold and his brain tried not to focus on what that meant. He just kept his attention on the way she felt in his arms, pressed up against him. She opened up to him almost immediately, letting out a soft moan as his tongue moved with hers. The sound disappeared somewhere between them and John shifted them until Elizabeth was straddling him, hands clutching at the collar of his shirt.
He was worried that she would be too weak at this point, but as their kisses grew longer and deeper, her strength seemed to come back to her. He vaguely remembered Lorne saying something about that, but then Elizabeth's hips twisted and all coherent thought left him. She was there and she was kissing him and he was going to save her. She was going to let him.
He could have cried in relief.
He wanted to get her out of the rain. He wanted to take her inside to her quarters where they could do this right. But they didn't have time for that now. Less than a minute before he had been convinced that she was going to die in his arms. Now she was kissing him and the only thing he could do was follow her lead.
Pushing himself forward, he gently leaned Elizabeth back until she was underneath him, their bodies pressed together. Her hands were busy - roaming across his back and then slipping under his shirt to touch bare skin. John shivered and felt her smile against his mouth.
There were so many things he wanted to do with her, so many ways he wanted to touch her. With the cold rain soaking them both though, he opted for keeping things simple. Clothes were discarded without a word and he made sure to keep her under him, protecting her from the weather as much as he could. His lips slid down her throat and he moaned as his tongue darted out to taste her. Elizabeth's hands fisted in his hair when he reached her breasts, and her own moans sent waves of pleasure pulsing through his body. Forcing himself to move back up instead of down, he kissed her deeply once more before pulling back to look at her.
She was beautiful. Eyes wide and cheeks flushed, she had more color than he'd seen all week.
He didn’t look away as he slid into her. Elizabeth’s eyes rolled back and she clutched him even harder, her breath catching as she whispered his name. John forced himself to stay still for a moment, his body throbbing with need, staring down at her as he realized that there weren’t any words for this moment. Nothing could explain to her how he felt. All he could do was show her.
“Elizabeth.”
Her eyes opened, the lids fluttering as she focused on him. She reached up, cupping his face in her hands and smiling softly at him. Then she pulled him down, kissing him as her body urged him to move with her.
The rain was like a veil around them, masking them from the rest of the world. The city fell away and it was just them, their moans and whispered urgings echoing as though they were enclosed in glass. When they finally fell apart, drenched and breathing heavily, the rain was all they could hear, bouncing off the floor of the balcony and soaking into their discarded clothing.
Looking down at the woman below him, John couldn’t do much else than marvel. She bit her bottom lip and reached up, tracing the bridge of his nose with her index finger. For some reason, the touch was more intimate than he expected - especially given what they had just done - and his eyes slid shut as he let out a contented sigh.
“John -”
“Sheppard!”
The crackling in his ear made his heart jump and he let out a curse before answering. “What?”
“Do you know where Elizabeth is?”
“She’s right here.”
“And is she...?”
“She’s fine, McKay. What the hell do you want?”
“We might have a problem. Wait - Elizabeth’s fine. Does that mean that you...?”
“McKay!”
“Right. Sorry. You two should come see this.”
“Is this an emergency?”
Rodney sighed. “Since when are any of our problems NOT an emergency?”
“Valid point. Fine. Have someone bring dry clothes for Elizabeth and I and leave them in the conference room.”
“Why do you...Wait. Nevermind. I really don’t want the details.”
John sighed as he clicked his radio off and looked down at Elizabeth, who had raised one eyebrow at him. Her own earpiece had been taken off while they were undressing, so she had missed half of the conversation.
“Ready to go back to work?”
“It sounds as though we don’t have a choice.”
“Trust me. If we did...”
He leaned in and kissed her one more time. He didn’t want to leave her, to leave this. She hadn’t said anything aside from his name and a few other pleadings and demands during their lovemaking, and he wasn’t sure he was ever going to get the chance again. So he kissed her twice more after that - just in case. Then he pushed himself to his feet and reached down to help her up.
“Let’s get to it, then.”
~~~~
She couldn’t help but blush whenever John walked into the room. She may have been close to death when they made love, but she remembered every second of it. The way his hands felt as they ran over her body. The way his weight settled down on top of her. The way his lips moved against her own. And she remembered the way he looked at her. She had never seen him so exposed before. His heart had been laid out right in front of her and he had offered her everything he had.
He had saved more than just her life.
He stopped in front of her desk, hands in his pockets.
“Hey.”
Elizabeth couldn’t have stopped her smile even if she had wanted to. “Hey.”
“Crazy week.”
“Crazy past couple,” she agreed. “But we seem to have made it through by the skin of our teeth. Again.”
“Not gonna complain about that.” He shifted his weight. “You uh...you wanted to see me?”
“Right. You’re a difficult man to track down sometimes, Colonel.”
He grimaced at the formal tone. “Sorry.”
Elizabeth straightened up and took a deep breath. “I was wondering if you’d like to have dinner. With me.”
His eyes widened in surprise and a warm smile slowly spread across his face.
“I’d like that.”
Elizabeth nodded, her expression matching his. “Good. Give me another hour here and then come to my room?”
He still looked a little shell-shocked, but he nodded. “Yeah.” He looked around the room, as though suddenly remembering where he was. “I should, um...paperwork.”
She raised an amused eyebrow at him. “Right.”
John stared at her for a moment more, his smile still lingering. Then he nodded again and walked out, leaving a grinning and blushing Elizabeth behind him.
~~~~
“Are you alright?” Elizabeth asked as they worked their way through the food. “You seem...uncomfortable. You have for a little while now.” Ever since the balcony, she wanted to add.
He gave her a tight smile but didn’t meet her eyes. “I’m fine.”
A heavy knot formed in the pit of her stomach and she set down her fork, taking a deep breath. “John...if you want to take it back...” Her words were getting stuck and she swallowed, trying again. “I understand, if you only said what you did to save my life. You’re not...you’re not stuck with me -”
He reached out for her hand in a move that startled her because of the desperation behind it. “I meant it,” he said firmly. “I just...I don’t know where your head is at, ‘Lizabeth. I don’t know what you’re...you know...feeling.”
She frowned in confusion. “I thought you knew -” Elizabeth stopped, pressing one hand over her mouth. “Oh, God. I never said it.”
John watched her carefully. “You didn’t really say much of anything.”
“I guess...I guess I just assumed that you knew. That’s why I couldn’t let you...well, save me...at first. The way I felt about you, it wasn’t fair. I didn’t want you to feel like you owed me something. I didn’t want to trap you.” She looked him in the eye and squeezed his hand. “John, I love you.”
The knot that he’d been carrying in his chest slowly unraveled. “Wow.”
She raised an eyebrow at him. “Is that all you have to say?”
“Well you gotta cut me some slack here. I mean, you love me - and I love you too, by the way - and you’re having my baby and it’s all a little much. I mean...last week we weren’t even admitting that we liked each other, you know?”
Elizabeth did her best to keep her voice steady. “Too much?” she asked.
“With anyone else, yeah. But you...I’m terrified, Elizabeth,” he admitted, eyes searching hers. “I could screw this up like you wouldn’t even believe. But...it’s you. I’m willing to go for it. If you’re sure you want me.”
Some women would have been hurt, would have taken his words the wrong way and misunderstood him. But Elizabeth knew that John Sheppard had just laid his heart out in front of her. He was sitting there, asking her to choose him, just like he’d been doing since this bomb got dropped on them.
“I’m sure,” she whispered, her voice thick. “And you’re not the only one that’s terrified.”
“That’s actually a lot more comforting than it should be.”
He stared at her for a minute and then got up, coming around the table and pulling her to her feet. He tucked her hair behind her ears and held her face, and Elizabeth couldn’t help but start to grin like an idiot. Until he kissed her. It wasn’t out of desperation or a need to save her life and it felt so much more real than that first kiss they had shared on that balcony. They may have already conceived a child, but she felt like this was a first time all over again because everything was their choice this time. The thought made her shiver and she pulled him closer.
“I think I’m done with dinner,” she murmured.
John grinned and propelled them to the bed.
~~~~
Laura paced across the room, turning with force every time she met a wall. Her hands were clenched at her sides and her jaw was set, nostrils flaring a bit with each breath. Elizabeth and Teyla watched her carefully from where they sat on the bed. Both knew that something should be said, but neither was sure that they're diplomatic skills could keep Laura from exploding.
“You should sit down,” Teyla finally ventured quietly.
“You should go see Evan,” Elizabeth countered.
Laura whirled around. “That's easy for you to say!” she exclaimed. “You and Sheppard are...are...together.”
“That may be true,” Teyla said, “but that is not the case with Ronon and I. And I agree with Elizabeth.”
“I can't.”
Elizabeth raised an eyebrow. “Is there someone else you'd rather...?”
She blushed all the way up to the tips of her ears. “No!”
“So you do want him?”
“No, I...I...” She came over and flopped down onto the bed. “This is so stupid,” she muttered.
Elizabeth reached out and tucked a strand of Laura's hair behind her ear. “It's not so complicated, though. You're pregnant. You want Lorne. And he's the father of your child. The only problem is that you can't admit it to him.” She paused. “Or to yourself, it would seem.”
Something inside of her gave, and she slumped forward slightly, letting out a shaky breath. “What if he doesn't want me, though?” she asked quietly.
“Now you know that is far from the truth, Laura,” Teyla said. “Lorne has done nothing but try to stand by your side. Did he not offer to help you in any way that he could?”
She gave a hollow laugh. “I'm not sure that included sex.”
The Athosian gave her a knowing smirk. “I am most certain that he would not turn you away, Laura. Quite the opposite, actually.”
Laura blushed again, squirming in her seat. “Yeah, but...I don't normally have to ask a guy to, you know...”
“He offered last time?” Elizabeth asked.
“Actually, he threw me against the desk and...”
Her eyes widened. “Oh.” She smiled slowly. “In that case...why are you still sitting here talking to us?”
“But -”
“You have three choices. Go find Lorne, go find someone else you'd rather be with, or go without sex.”
Laura swallowed and stood up. “Right. See you guys later.”
Once she was out in the hallway, she turned and headed for Evan's room. She wasn't really sure why she was so nervous. She usually didn't have a problem making a move on a guy, and if he wasn't interested, that was fine. She had her life and she wasn't going to let herself be dragged down because one guy didn't want her.
It was different with Evan, though.
Even before the forced pregnancy, she had always found him to be attractive – and not just physically, either. He had no problem teasing her and trading barbs and he could almost always make her laugh. He was pretty cool – for a flyboy, anyway – and she enjoyed being a part of his team.
Since that night in his office, though, she had seen another side of him. He always asked how she was feeling, actually stopping and waiting for the response. He made sure she took breaks and ate enough. He asked her if she was sleeping alright. And even though she hadn't let him come to any of her appointments with Carson, he always asked about the baby, if there was anything knew going on. He told her that if there was anything – and he stressed the anything part – that she needed, that he wanted her to come to him. And his eyes...
Her stomach flipped just at the memory of the way he looked at her.
Laura shook her head as she neared his door. He was just being like that because of the baby. And she appreciated it – she really did. But she wasn't going to make him commit to her just because he had been a good enough man to save her life. She had to keep this casual. She needed to make sure that he had an out.
Taking a deep breath, she waved her hand in front of the sensors and waited. A few seconds later, the door was opening and Evan was standing in front of her, a small smile on his face.
“Hey.”
“Hey.” Laura shifted her weight from foot to foot. “You um...you said I could come to you. If there was anything I needed.”
“Of course.” He stepped aside to let her in and then closed the door behind her. “What is it?”
Words weren't really her thing. She was intelligent, articulate. But when it came to certain aspects of her life, Laura Cadman found that actions were sometimes the better way to go. And with Evan looking at her like that...
She stepped forward and grabbed his face, kissing him firmly. She put all of the confidence she could muster into the move, not wanting him to sense her nervousness. It only took him half a heartbeat to follow her lead and then he was kissing her back, his arms holding her tightly against him.
“Laura,” he breathed, pulling back slightly.
She shook her head. “Please.” It sounded desperate in her ears. “I need...”
He nodded, not making her say anything else. He just kissed her again and walked her back to the bed, pushing her down onto the mattress gently. His kisses were deep and long and Laura found herself squirming beneath him, her chest tight. She realized that she had been expecting this to be hard and fast like the last time, but Evan had something else in mind. His mouth left hers and traveled down her neck before he lifted her shirt slightly and started to kiss her stomach.
It was too much for her. Her hands tangled in his short hair and she closed her eyes, suddenly fighting back tears that she didn't quite understand.
“Evan -”
He looked up at her, his expression earnest. “Let me make you feel better,” he whispered.
She couldn't say anything to that and just nodded. Evan looked relieved at her agreement and then lowered his head once again and kissed her stomach almost reverently. Her body had begun to change with the pregnancy and though she wasn't noticeably large yet, there was a slight bulge where her flat stomach used to be. It had frustrated her, when her pants had started to become tight, but Evan seemed amazed by it.
“Our baby,” he murmured.
Then he was pulling her clothes off slowly, exploring each new part of her that he uncovered. He seemed particularly interested in her breasts, which had started to fill out even more and had become much more sensitive. He paid them so much attention that she had started to writhe against him, one hand clutching at the low headboard behind her.
“Oh God,” she moaned.
Then he moved lower. She briefly thought that she shouldn't let him, that she should make him move back up so that they could do this without being so intimate – a part of her rolled her eyes at that flimsy distinction – but once his mouth was on her, she couldn't do it. It felt amazingly good to have him touch her like that and something curled tightly in her stomach at the way he took his time, seeking out what made her feel best. And then it was his tongue and his fingers and -
She saw black spots when her orgasm hit her and it took her a couple of minutes to come down from it. Evan's hands slid back up her body until he could kiss her mouth again and her toes curled when she felt his erection pressing against her. The sudden realization made her pull back and frown.
“What?” Evan asked, worry creeping into his voice.
“You've still got all your clothes on.”
The worry vanished and he grinned. “You anxious to see me naked?”
Laura rolled her eyes. “Strip, flyboy.”
His gaze darkened. “Yes, ma'am.”
He levered himself up off the bed and began to pull his own clothes off. Laura hadn't gotten to enjoy the stripping the last time, but she did remember how strong his chest felt under her hands. And the view she was getting now only reinforced that. Evan might not have been a tall man, but he took good care of himself. And when his pants joined his shirt on the floor, Laura found her attention completely riveted below his waist.
He blushed slightly at her intense gaze. “Like what you see?”
Laura bit her lip and nodded as he crawled back over her. “Hell yes, sir.”
His breath seemed to catch at that and he leaned down to kiss her fiercely. Slow and sweet went out the door and Laura was just fine with that, her body already aching again to have him inside of her. He slid in without any warning and her head fell back against the pillows. His mouth moved back to her breasts as he moved in and out of her and all she could do was wrap her legs around his waist and hold on, fingernails digging into his shoulders. Evan shifted slightly to change the angle and she cried out, urging him on, tightening her legs around him. One of his hands drifted down to touch her and it was just the right amount of pressure to make her explode, her release ripping through her. Evan followed her a few seconds later.
They both breathed heavily in the silence that followed, Evan's head resting in the crook of her neck. He placed a kiss there and she shuddered, and then he lifted his head enough to give her another deep kiss, his tongue slowly exploring her mouth. Gently pulling out of her, he slid to the side, one hand resting on her stomach as weariness overcame both them. He watched her eyelids flutter shut before he let his own close, falling asleep with the comfort of having her there pressed against his side.
When he woke a few hours later, she was gone.
~~~~
John shook his head as Rodney continued to rant and rave behind him. The scientist loved when he got energy readings where there shouldn't be any – he thought there was a good chance they'd find something useful like a ZPM – but he hated when he couldn't find the stupid thing. John understood the frustration, but he had long ago learned that it was easier to just let McKay go through his little routine and keep his thoughts to himself. Otherwise they would just end up bickering the rest of the way.
Better to save that for when he was really bored.
For the time being, he let his mind wander back to Atlantis and Elizabeth. Pregnancy made her gorgeous and terrifying all at the same time, and he loved it. Her temper was slightly shorter than he was used to, and she was quicker to yell at him for doing stupid things when he was off-world, but he couldn't really blame her for that. She had confessed to him late one night that she didn't want to raise this baby alone and that she was scared to death that one day he just wasn't going to come home to her. He couldn't stop doing his job, but he could be more careful. With two other fathers-to-be were with him on this particular trip, he would pay special attention to their safety. Ronon and Lorne could take care of themselves, but the idea of facing an irate Teyla beside an infuriated Cadman? John was fairly certain he'd rather face a Wraith.
Thinking of the others made him glance over at Lorne. The major was looking a little more haunted these days, despite the fact that a smile spread across his face every time he saw Laura. John wasn't really big on the talking and the opening up, but he felt like he owed it to the other man to at least try. They had both gone through the same awkward situation and that gave them quite a bit of common ground.
“How's Cadman?” he asked, falling back slightly to walk beside him.
“Good.” He paused. “I think.”
“You think?”
Lorne shrugged. “Laura doesn't exactly let me in on what she's thinking, sir.”
“Yeah, but...I mean...the two of you, you're...well, you know...”
He shifted the weight of the pack he was carrying on his shoulders. “We're...it's complicated, sir.”
“I'm asking as a friend,” John told him. “Not your boss. And trust me...complicated is the way we do things on Atlantis.”
Lorne let out a quiet chuckle. “True.” Taking a deep breath, he looked around at the trees. “We're sleeping together. But she won't...that's it. She shows up in my room, we have sex, and then she's gone by the time I wake up. I don't think she's interested in anything...deeper.”
John frowned. “Have you tried talking to her about it?”
“She doesn't normally let me get a word in. And...I'm afraid of rocking the boat.”
“You don't want her to walk away completely.”
“Exactly.”
John watched him out of the corner of his eye, momentarily distracted by Rodney's continued complaining. “But you want more.”
Lorne nodded. “I would understand, if she didn't want me. She was in an impossible situation. But she keeps coming to me...” He shrugged. “Maybe she's just desperate.”
“Not exactly fair to you.”
“Can't say no to her though. I don't want to.” His eyes became distant. “As long as she lets me be a part of the baby's life...I guess that's really all I can ask.”
“You can ask for a hell of a lot more than that, Evan,” he said firmly. “And you should. You should tell her how you feel.”
Lorne raised an eyebrow at him. “Really, sir? You're giving advice on opening up?”
John scowled. “Alright. I can admit that I'm not usually first in line to do that kind of thing. But...I almost lost Elizabeth because of it. It's worth the initial awkwardness, trust me.”
“You're really happy with all of this, aren't you?”
He shrugged. “It's not exactly the way I would have planned...but I've got Elizabeth and we're having a baby. We may not have contact with Earth, but Atlantis has been relatively safe lately. So I can't really complain about much.”
“Better knock on one of these trees, Sheppard. Don't want to jinx us.”
“We've got McKay with us. We're screwed either way.”
“True.”
John turned to look over his shoulder at the scientist. “Anything yet?”
Rodney sighed. “Haven't you been listening to a thing I've said?”
“Do I normally?”
“No. Honestly, I don't know why I continue to come out here with you people!”
“Because Dr. Weir tells you to,” Lorne pointed out. “And even you aren't foolish enough to tell her no.”
Rodney opened his mouth to make a sharp retort, but Ronon tossed his bag down before he could. “It's time for a lunch break anyway.”
“Now that's an idea I can get behind,” John agreed.
They had stopped on the banks of a river that was flowing by them at a quick clip. John wondered if the planet had gotten a lot of rain in the past few days or if it always ran this heavy. Either way, the sound was oddly comforting and the sun was warm on his face. He was sure McKay would eventually trace the source of the strange energy readings, but for now he just wanted to sit and enjoy some food. He could go for some quiet as well, but there was little chance of that happening.
“Turkey sandwiches?” Rodney whined. “Really?”
“You want something else, you can start packing the lunches,” John replied, leaning back against a large rock. “Until then, eat it or pass it over.”
That shut him up for the moment and all four of them dug into their sandwiches. John wasn't sure what it was about turkey that he loved so much, but he just never got tired of it. Lorne and Ronon never complained – maybe because it just didn't really matter to them, or because they figured he was in charge and got to fix the food – which left McKay in the minority every time. John was okay with that.
They sat there long after they were done eating, none of them eager to get up and continue their search. They had yet to even detect life signs on the planet, and there hadn't been much of anything in the Ancient database to tell them what to expect. If it hadn't been for the energy readings, they probably would have passed the planet by and never given it a second thought.
It was a peaceful place, though, and John noted that they didn't find very many of those in their travels. No one was trying to kill them or cheat them. No one was making any threats or worried that John and his friends were there to hurt them. It was just a pretty, uninhabited planet.
Which made no sense. Planets like this were valuable to almost anyone, and yet they hadn't seen any hint of life. The scenery honestly reminded him a little of Jurassic Park, and he kept listening for a rustle in the trees that would warn them of a raptor. It was ridiculous and he knew it, but there had to be some reason that people weren't making their homes here.
“You think the Wraith wiped them out?” Lorne asked, apparently thinking along the same lines.
Ronon shrugged. “Would have expected at least some ruins.”
“It's strange,” John agreed. “But the place feels totally empty.”
“What the...!?”
They all turned to see Rodney hitting his computer in frustration. Apparently the blow still didn't give him the results he was looking for though, and he hit it again.
“Come on you stupid thing! Work!”
“Problem, Rodney?” John asked.
“It's gone!”
“What's gone?”
“The energy readings! They were spiking abnormally a minute ago and now they're just not there!”
“Are you sure they were there to begin with?”
Rodney gave him a scathing look. “Yes, I'm sure. It's like...it's like someone flipped a switch!”
“Maybe they did.”
“That would require for someone to actually be here. And there are no life signs showing up!”
“Alright,” John said calmly. “We'll give it a half hour and if they don't come back, we'll head home.” Rodney opened his mouth to object, but John cut him off. “Can you find this thing if it's not emitting anything.”
“Well, no -”
“Then we wait for a little while. But I'm not spending the night out here, okay? This planet is uninhabited for a reason and it might very well be something that only comes out after the sun goes down.”
Rodney frowned. “You've been acting strange. Ever since Elizabeth got pregnant.”
“Because he's not running into the fray without thinking first?” Lorne asked with a smirk.
“Because he's always so eager to get back to Atlantis.”
“I like it there,” John replied. “And so do you, Rodney. You're just mad because the technology pulled a fast one on you.”
“The energy readings were there.”
“I'm sure they were.” He moved away from the rock a little and laid down, hands clasped behind his head. “Now, can we enjoy the next thirty minutes with minimal talking?”
Ronon grunted and Lorne nodded, but Rodney just lowered his muttering until it was mostly under his breath. John caught a few words - “don't understand,” and “it's always me,” being some of them – but overall he didn't care. Letting his eyes slide shut, he decided to just enjoy the time in the sun.
~~~~
“Nothing?” Elizabeth asked, one eyebrow climbing steadily. “That’s unusual.”
John sighed as he slouched in the chair. “Tell me about it. McKay’s already locked in one of the labs trying to figure it out.”
“He’s trying to figure nothing out.”
“Well, you know him. The laziest overachiever we’ve got.”
“And you?”
“Well, I’m certainly lazy. But I’m not really into the overachieving.” Elizabeth just gave him a look and he chuckled. “I’ll admit, it was strange.”
“The nothing?”
“It was a nice planet. More than nice, really. There should have been people there, Elizabeth. Or at least evidence that people were there at some point.”
She narrowed her eyes. “You’re uneasy.”
“I’m uneasy that I’m not more uneasy.”
Watching him for a second longer, she leaned back in her chair and let out a long breath. “Well, I for one am happy that you all came back from a mission without a scrape or bruise on you.” A smile crept onto her face as she realized that his eyes were locked on her ever-growing stomach. “John. You’re staring again.”
He shrugged, slowly dragging his eyes up her body until their gazes met. “Can you really blame me?”
Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “Flatterer.”
He winked at her and then his smile disappeared. “Hey, by the way...do you think you could talk to Cadman?”
Her expression sobered as well. “Did Lorne talk to you?”
“Yeah. She’s not exactly being fair.”
“Trust me, I know. And not just to him. She wants more out of this, too.”
John frowned. “Then why is she doing this?”
Elizabeth spread her hands. “She won’t admit her feelings. Not even to herself.”
“She could do a hell of a lot worse than Evan Lorne,” he said darkly.
Elizabeth’s eyes softened at his tone. “She’s not ashamed of him, John.”
“That’s not what it sounds like.”
“She’s afraid.”
“Maybe someone should remind her that she’s a Marine.”
She sat up straight, giving him a hard look. “And maybe someone should remember that she’s also a pregnant woman who didn’t choose to have this situation thrust upon her. I know it’s not fair, John. But it’s not fair to either of them. Just because you and I figured things out doesn’t mean that it will come so easily for the others.”
He shifted uncomfortably in his chair and when he spoke again, the anger was gone from his voice. “Lorne is good people.”
“I know,” she said quietly. “They both are.” She sighed, looking around at her desk. “Give me another hour and we’ll get some dinner?”
John nodded and got up, obviously still bothered by the whole situation. He wanted to lean over and give her a kiss on the cheek, but he knew how she felt about things like that when they were in her office. He gave her an uncomfortable smile and walked out instead, ignoring the way her eyes followed him.
~~~~
It slid away from him, taking refuge in the shadows. It felt good to be outside again, free from that planet and from the restrictions placed on it. There was so much more room to move here, more opportunities. Though really, anywhere was better than where it had been.
It looked down at the form sleeping on the bed, tilting its head to one side. Then it looked down at its own body as it unfolded into being - an exact replica. It was not an unpleasant form, and it flexed its fingers, feeling the muscles all the way up to its shoulders. It rolled them experimentally. Yes, this would do just fine.
For a moment it contemplated killing the original. But he was still needed until the rest of the memories and mannerisms could be assimilated. For now, it would do to just get him out of the way.
It grabbed his arm and its fingers sunk through the flesh. Brown eyes flashed open in an instant, but the poison was already working through his body. Disbelief and anger flooded through those eyes for just a moment before they rolled back and his body stilled completely.
It left its fingers there for just a moment longer, making sure that the job was done. Then it bound his hands and dragged him from the bed.
~~~~
“You are quiet this morning,” Teyla observed.
Ronon shrugged. “Aren’t I usually?”
“Yes,” she admitted. “But this feels...different.”
He shrugged again and went back to his breakfast. Teyla watched him closely, but she couldn’t see anything that was outwardly wrong with him. He was right - being quiet was a given with him. And considering she had had an appointment with Carson that morning, she wasn’t surprised that he was being even more reticent than usual. Ronon was always there for her, always by her side, but he didn’t discuss the baby.
Giving him a pained smile, she focused on her food.
~~~~
Lorne kicked at the Satedan, using more force than he had the last time. There was a rumble that he took for a groan this time, and Ronon slowly picked his head up, looking around in confusion.
“What happened?” he asked groggily.
Lorne shook his head. “I think we were drugged.”
Ronon sat up quickly, pulling at the chains binding his hands. “Teyla.”
“She’s not here.”
He shook his head forcefully. “No. I saw the thing that did this just before I blacked out. She’s in trouble.” He pulled at the chains again but got nowhere, finally pausing to catch his breath from the strain. “And if you’re here, I’m betting Cadman is, too.”
~~~~
When John strode into the lab, Rodney was mid-rant and Elizabeth looked as though she could use some rescuing. Crossing his arms, he leaned his hip against the table and tried to catch up, straining for a few key words that would clue him in.
“Rodney,” Elizabeth interrupted, holding up one hand. “Can’t we just let it go?”
“Let it go?” the scientist spluttered. “Elizabeth, energy readings don’t just disappear. It was like someone turned something off. But there was no one there!”
“That you found.”
“Which only strengthens my argument. We need to go back to that planet and figure out what the hell it was.”
“Why?”
“Why? Why!?” His hands were waving madly in the air. “It could be another ZPM! It could be a new enemy! It could be the Manhattan Project Pegasus-style. The point is that the readings were there and then they weren’t anymore! I need to know why!”
“I think you just got your answer,” John said quietly. “McKay needs to know.” He turned to the scientist. “You do realize that the last time you got like this you ended up destroying a planet and a solar system along with it, right?”
Rodney whirled on him. “What is with you?” he demanded. “You never like coincidences! Why aren’t you dying to get back out there and figure this out?”
“Because I’m not quite as obsessive as you are?” He suggested. Then his eyes traveled to Elizabeth’s stomach. “And I’ve got a few more reasons to stay at home these days, in case you’ve forgotten.”
Elizabeth blushed, ducking her head as she clasped her hands in front of her. Rodney just rolled his eyes though and threw his hands up.
“Right. Of course. Babies trump all.”
“They at least trump crazy paranoia.”
“That’s enough,” Elizabeth said firmly. “Rodney, I will think about it, alright?”
He sighed. “Fine. Of course, with Captain Lazy-pants over here trying to influence you, I doubt you’ll be thinking very hard.”
Her eyes blazed. “Are you suggesting that I can’t make an unbiased decision?”
He stepped back slightly, caught off-guard by her sudden anger. “What? No, of course not. I was simply pointing out -”
“I didn’t think so,” she said coldly.
With that, she turned to walk about of the lab. John flashed a wide-eyed look at Rodney and then hurried to catch her, his long stride bringing them back together once they were out in the hallway.
“That was a little harsh,” he said under his breath.
Elizabeth sighed, passing a weary hand across her eyes. “I know.”
“You okay?”
“I’m fine.”
“Elizabeth.”
“I didn’t sleep well last night,” she said quietly. “But it’s fine, John. Not sleeping kind of comes with the territory.” She gestured to her stomach.
He gave her a dirty smirk. “Maybe I can help out with that.”
She blushed like she had back in the lab, but this time her eyes glowed. “I certainly wouldn’t object to you making yourself useful, Colonel.”
~~~~
They were both on their feet now, kicking at the only door out of the small room. It barely even shook at the impact. Lorne fervently wished there were some old-fashioned wooden doors around, but Atlantis didn’t have a single one. Of course not - the Ancients didn’t want people kicking them in.
He slammed his foot into the door one more time, as hard as he could.
“Dammit!” he cursed. His shoulders were starting to ache from his hands being chained tightly together in front of his body. “We’re never going to get through.”
“Then maybe someone will hear us,” Ronon gritted, continuing his assault.
“We’ve got another problem.”
The big man took a break, chest heaving as he turned to look at him. “What?”
“If I’m here, and you’re here, and those things actually took on our shapes and dumped us here...where the hell is Sheppard?”
“You think they would take him too?”
Evan grimaced. “I can’t think of a single reason they wouldn’t.”
~~~~
Elizabeth cocked an eyebrow as John followed her into her office. “Don’t you have work to do?”
“Not really.”
“I’m sure you have paperwork to do.”
“Don’t really wanna.”
“Trust me, I feel your pain. But I need those reports, John.”
He walked around the desk until he was on her side, something he didn’t normally do these days. He knew that she needed to hold onto her image of authority - even if they were sleeping together and having a baby - and she had asked him early on to respect that. He had pouted like a little boy, but complied, just like she knew he would. As much as he might tease her and flout some of the rules, he also cared about her and respected her. It was mutual and it was one of the many reasons they worked so well together.
He wasn’t respecting the line this time, though. Instead of perching on the corner of her desk like she expected, John just continued forward, eventually causing Elizabeth to stumble backwards.
“John, what are you -”
He didn’t stop, his eyes holding a strange intensity she had never seen before. She tried to put more space between them but her back hit two walls and she realized that she was trapped in the corner. John moved until he his body was brushing up against hers, one hand braced on the wall by her head while the other wrapped around her waist.
“You work too hard, Liz,” he murmured, his nose pressed into her cheek as he breathed her in deeply. “You should take a break.”
“John,” she said firmly, trying to ignore the way he felt against her. “We can’t do this here and you know that.”
One finger trailed along her swollen stomach. “You know,” he said thoughtfully, “I did save your life. The least you could do is be grateful.”
It wasn’t just the words that made her snap out of it. The tone he used was one she’d never heard from him before - twisted, almost bitter, but with a hint of lewdness that made her skin crawl. His eyes moved up from her stomach and he stared at her. It only took Elizabeth three seconds to know something with the utmost certainty.
This wasn’t her John Sheppard.
She didn’t know if there was something inside of him or if something had taken his form, and the distinction was very important. If it was the former, she would need to be careful about the level of force used. If it was the latter...she’d order it shot the first chance she got. But she had to be sure, and the only place to do that was the infirmary.
“C’mon, Lizzie,” he prodded, and she almost shuddered in disgust as the nickname rolled of his tongue, “you don’t really expect me to stay if I’m not getting something good in return, do you?”
The angle was all wrong for a punch. Instead, she gripped his shoulders and leaned in as though she were going for a kiss and at the last possible second, she slammed her right knee straight between his legs. The force threw him backwards just far enough for her to slip away and his body curled in on itself as he growled at her.
“Bitch,” he hissed. “You’re gonna regret that.”
“Dr. Weir?”
Chuck was standing in the doorway, looking between her and John. When she saw the dangerous way that John was looking back, she knew that they needed to away from him as soon as possible.
“We need some Marines down here now,” she said, edging towards the doorway. “Tell them that Colonel Sheppard is to be captured and brought down to the infirmary under heavy guard, but not harmed. Also, find out where Lorne and Ronon are. Chuck,” she said sharply, trying to pull his attention away from Sheppard. “Do it now.”
“Ma’am, get behind me.”
“He’ll rip right through you.”
“Damn right about that,” John growled.
“He’s coming after me no matter what. Because I’m the one he wants.” She took a deep breath. “Do what I told you to, Chuck.”
“Yes, Dr. Weir.”
It was obvious he didn’t want to leave her, but eventually he turned and leaped for the console. He put the call out to any and all Marines near the control room, praying that someone was close.
Elizabeth counted to ten and ran.
~~~~
Laura looked up from her book when the door opened and Evan stepped in. She frowned, wondering if everything was okay - he never just dropped by. Some part of her knew that it was because she had so effectively frozen him out, but he had respected the line. Now he was walking towards her with an incredibly focused gaze and she pushed herself to her feet.
“You okay?”
“I don’t understand,” he said, stopping less than a foot away.
“You don’t understand what?”
“Why you would keep me from my baby.”
She felt like she’d been kicked in the chest. “Evan -”
“A mother should want to do the best thing for her child. That starts with choosing a strong mate that can protect them. You did that, but then you keep me at arm’s length. You won’t let me take care of you, Laura, and that doesn’t make sense.” He paused. “It’s not what a mother would do.” He took a step closer, backing her into the little table beside her bed. “Do you love this baby at all, Laura?” he asked softly, eyes moving across her face. “Or are you just doing this because you have no other choice?”
Tears stung her eyes, the words feeling as though he had reached into her and pulled out her heart. “What the hell is wrong with you?” she demanded. This wasn’t like him. This was so far removed from the Evan she knew that felt like she had to be having a nightmare. “Get the fuck out of my room! NOW!”
She shoved him, suddenly desperate for some room to breathe. But he barely budged, his hands coming up to grab her shoulders and slam her into the table.
“I’m not going anywhere, Laura. You’re done calling the shots.”
~~~~
“What does it feel like?” Ronon asked, staring at her.
“What does what feel like?” Teyla questioned in response, not opening her eyes as she continued to meditate.
“Having something grow inside of you.”
Her mouth quirked - this was really the first time Ronon had taken any interest in the baby itself. “It feels amazing. You can feel its heartbeat as it moves with yours. You can feel it breathe. It is the most wonderful thing I have ever experienced.”
“So it was worth it?”
She was silent for a moment. “I do not like to have my hand forced. But I chose my mate,” she smirked at that, “and I am choosing to accept this change and build my life around it.”
“But what’s the point?” he asked. “It’s going to die anyway.”
Teyla’s eyes snapped open as Ronon lunged for her. Her instincts saved her as she rolled quickly to her left, arms wrapped around her stomach protectively. She got to her feet and whirled to face her lover, eyes blazing in anger and confusion as he faced her in a fighting stance.
“Look at his parents,” Ronon continued. “We’re warriors. We fight. We fuck. We die. And that’s what’s going to happen to this kid. That’s no life. Better to kill him now before he learns enough of hope for it to choke the soul out of him.”
“You do not really believe that,” she said. “I know you, Ronon. You may have wished for death at one point in your life, but that is no longer the case. You have friends now. A family.”
“Doesn’t matter,” he said, shrugging. “None of it matters.”
Teyla backed up toward the bench by the window, reaching down for the bantos sticks in her pack. He didn’t stop her, simply watched with a cold calculation.
“What matters,” she said calmly, spinning one of the sticks, “is this - I will not let you harm our child. Not even if I have to kill you.”
“Then at least one of us will be free.”
~~~~
“Rodney, you’re going to work yourself into a stroke. It’s not worth it, lad.”
“But it doesn’t make any sense!”
Carson sighed, stopping in the middle of the hallway and turning to face his friend. “Alright. Then try explaining it to me in the simplest of terms, like I have no idea what any of this is about.”
“You don’t!”
“Rodney...”
“Fine! There was an energy reading. A pretty strong one, too. And then it just went away!”
“Like someone flipped a switch.”
“YES! That’s what I keep saying but no one seems to understand -”
“So suppose someone turned it off.”
“But who?”
“Forget about that for now,” Carson said. “You’ve been beating at that question for the past twenty-four hours and it hasn’t gotten you anywhere. Try a different one.”
“Like what?” Rodney demanded.
“Like...” Carson drew the word out as he thought. “Like why we turn things off in the first place.”
He frowned. “That’s a ridiculous question.”
“But an easy one to answer. Just do it, Rodney, for the love of God!”
“Fine! Because...because we’re done with it! Because we don’t need it anymore...” He trailed off suddenly, snapping his fingers. “Because we’ve accomplished our goal,” he finished quietly. His eyes lit up. “The reading went away when we stopped at the river!” The light faded and he looked at his friend with a foreboding grimace. “Whatever flipped the switched had accomplished its goal when we got to the river.”
~~~~
John woke up slowly, groaning as he cradled his head in his hands. His brain felt like it had been turned to mush and as he rolled onto his side, he suddenly wondered if he was going to be sick. He lay on his side for a few minutes, breathing deeply, and the nausea eventually passed. A few more breaths and he got to his feet, leaning against the wall for support.
The wall of a very small closet.
It was a closet on Atlantis - that much he was sure of. But that didn’t give him any clue as to where he was in the city or what had happened to him. His mind was still foggy, but the last thing he could remember was Elizabeth kissing him softly as she rolled out of bed. He had buried his face back in the pillow and tried to ignore the fact that he had to get up, even as she slid his radio onto his ear with a smirk. And then...
And then he had woken up here.
He glanced down at his watch and realized that a few hours had passed since that morning. He frowned - was anyone looking for him? He was supposed to have a sparring session with Ronon before lunch, so someone had to have noticed that he wasn’t there. He reached up for the radio and tapped it.
“Elizabeth?”
There was no response. John said her name a few more times before trying Ronon and then Lorne. When all he got was static or silence, a cold knot formed in the pit of his stomach.
“McKay?”
“Sheppard?”
“Oh, thank God,” he breathed. “Where the hell is everyone?”
“Rushing to save Elizabeth from you.”
He froze. “What?”
“Where are you?”
“I don’t know - locked in a closet somewhere. What do you mean, saving Elizabeth from me? Is she okay? TALK TO ME, MCKAY!”
“I’m pulling up the city’s life signs detector now. Carson and I are coming to get you.”
~~~~
When the door finally opened to reveal a puzzled Marine holding a P90, Ronon barely had time to check his kick and keep his foot from colliding with the soldier’s chest.
“Sir?” he asked, staring at Lorne as he lowered his gun. “We’ve been trying to reach you.”
Both men shouldered past him. “Where’s Cadman?” Evan demanded.
“I don’t know, but sir, that’s not the problem...”
“The problem is that we’ve got doubles running around in our place,” Ronon growled.
The Marine’s eyes widened. “That would explain it then.”
“Explain what?”
“Everyone’s been called to the gate room, sir. To stop Colonel Sheppard from hurting Dr. Weir. It doesn’t sound like it’s going too well.”
“Shit,” Evan cursed. “What about us? Have you seen our doubles?”
“Actually...last I knew, you were on your way to see Lieutenant Cadman in her quarters. And you,” he turned to Ronon, “you were meditating with Teyla in the sparring room.”
Knowing that Weir was in danger made things more difficult, but Lorne couldn’t leave Laura in danger, either. Ronon seemed to be on the same wavelength, and with a quick nod, they both ran off in different directions, hoping that they weren’t too late.
~~~~
John was only barely aware of Carson and Rodney somewhere behind him. He was running full tilt toward the gate room, led on by the sounds of shouts and weapons being fired. He was hoping they were set to stun, but either way he wasn’t comfortable with people shooting around Elizabeth, even if it was to save her life. He just hoped she wasn’t in the middle of the fray.
He rounded a corner to find a copy of him disarming a Marine and knocking him unconscious to the floor. John knew his men and he knew their strengths - if this thing was taking them down this easily, it was even more dangerous than he thought.
It turned around and John was suddenly staring at himself. Everything was identical to his reflection in the mirror, except for the cold intensity of the eyes. Their gazes locked for just a moment and then it was turning again, raising the 9mm it had stolen from the Marine and aiming it off to the right.
It took John half a second to realize that Elizabeth was the only thing in the line of fire. There was no one left standing to protect her and she had nowhere else to go.
He reached her in three long strides, just as his copy stilled his arm and took aim. John threw himself into her, sending them both to the ground and he heard the gun fire and felt the burning in his shoulder before the tiles crashed into his chest and forced the air out of him. He kept his body over Elizabeth’s, meeting her eyes for just a moment.
“You okay?”
She looked at him with such wonder and then gently touched his face. “It’s you,” she whispered.
“The real McCoy,” he quipped weakly.
More bullets ricocheted around them and he tried to wrap himself around her completely. Elizabeth clung to him even as she turned her head to look at Rodney, who had his own gun out and pointed at the copy.
“Rodney, it’s not John! Kill it!”
His face blanched, but when he saw the copy aim its gun at John and Elizabeth again, he fired. His hands were shaking and he had to use both of them to keep the gun steady, but he emptied the entire clip, his stomach tightening as the thing that looked like his friend recoiled with each hit. Eventually, the copy dropped its weapon and fell to the floor, a stunned look on its face.
For a full minute, there was only the sound of heavy breathing and scattered moans. John turned his head to see that all of the soldiers that were on the ground were moving - he didn’t want to think about something wearing his face and killing his men. Then he looked down at Elizabeth, torn between relief and guilt.
“‘Lizabeth.”
She shook her head and gave him a soft smile. “I knew it wasn’t you,” she said quietly. “Not right away, because it sounded just like you. But when it cornered me, I knew...You would never hurt me, John, especially not intentionally. You’d never cross that line.”
He kissed her desperately. Even though she was usually the first one to chastise him for public displays, she returned the gesture, letting them have just a moment where they could worry about each other and not the rest of the world.
“Sorry,” he murmured, pulling back. His hand drifted down to her stomach. “How’s the baby?”
“I think she’s fine.”
He raised an eyebrow. “She?”
Elizabeth shrugged. “I’m just taking a guess.”
He thought about it for a second. “I could live with that. You’re going to see Beckett, you know that right?”
“Yes.”
“Good, because...” He was looking around again and paused, frowning deeply. “Where are Ronon and Lorne?”
~~~~
Lorne watched himself fly out of a doorway, into the hall, and crash into the opposite wall. The sight made him just stop and stare for a moment, at least until Laura came out of the room wielding a baseball bat. The look she was giving his replica was downright ferocious, but when she caught sight him standing at the end of the hall she frowned, lowering the bat slightly.
“Evan?”
He barely had time to register that she was okay. His copy was already back on its feet and instead of going after Laura again, it charged Lorne, catching him in his midsection and driving them both the ground. He felt the air whoosh out of his lungs and then it was straddling him, hands locked tightly around his throat as it tried to kill him. It didn’t take long for Evan’s vision to start to tunnel, his chest burning as it demanded oxygen. The thing above him only pressed harder, its face set into a frightening grimace that he was sure he had never used. He kicked with his legs as hard as he could, hoping he could dislodge it or at least loosen its grip - if he died right here, there would be no one left to protect Laura, and he couldn’t let that happen.
He heard the crack right as he was about to lose consciousness. Sucking in air loudly, he coughed a few times and looked up to see Laura standing over him, her bat raised high. Oddly enough, he suddenly remembered when she told him why she had brought something so ridiculous all the way to Atlantis with her - her older brother had won the championship game with that bat and a two-run home run his senior year only to be killed six months later by a drunk driver. She handled it now like she had been swinging it all her life, and he was struck by the image of a little Laura Cadman practicing with her big brother’s bat in the backyard.
“Laura,” he croaked.
She looked like she was going to say something, but the thing stirred again and she took another swing at its head. The crack that sounded this time was ugly and it didn’t make any more movements or sounds.
“Looks like you showed up just in time to get your ass kicked, flyboy,” she said.
He didn’t comment on the way her hands shook as they ran through her hair - he just accepted the help up as he got to his feet. She didn’t pull away when he was standing though, and he squeezed her hand.
“I thought I was distracting it for you.”
“I can go with that.” Her voice was almost steady, but there were tears in her eyes and she still didn’t let go of him. “So you went to off-world and brought back a murderous alien that looked just like you. Awesome.”
“It wasn’t just me.”
He was about to explain when Sheppard came barreling into the hallway, two Marines behind him and his left arm bleeding. The colonel took one look at the body on the ground and then looked straight at Laura.
“You’re sure it’s him?”
She nodded without any hesitation. “Yes, sir.”
“Good.” He turned to Lorne. “Ronon -”
“Sparring room.” Evan looked at Cadman. “Can I borrow the bat?”
She smirked at him and handed it over. “I want it back when you’re done, flyboy.”
~~~~
It didn't really look as though Ronon needed much help.
“You're weak,” he sneered, keeping himself between the copy and Teyla. “I expected more.”
“You were almost fully awake when I took on your form,” it said wearily, wiping at a cut right next to its right eye. “I couldn't integrate as much of you as I wanted to.”
“What are you?” Teyla asked. “Why are you here?”
“It's who we are. We copy. We become.”
“You tried to kill our women,” Evan said, tightening his grip on Laura’s hand, the bat in the other. “Why?”
The Ronon-copy shrugged. “They weaken you. We were making better versions of you.”
John took a step forward, his tone dangerous. “Weaken?”
“You care about them more than your lives. All three of you. You would sacrifice yourselves for them and for the life that they carry inside of them.”
“It's also how our race survives,” he argued. “We...we procreate.”
“It's weak,” it countered. “We would have become you and we would have endured. Our kind has no need for this..” it gestured at Teyla, “this lunacy.”
“You're the crazy ones,” Lorne said. “You attacked the people we care most about and your two companions are dead.”
“You're not far behind,” Ronon added.
The copy eyed him cautiously, subtly shifting its stance. Teyla tightened her grip on her bantos sticks, but Ronon simply smiled.
“That's not a smart move,” he warned.
It slid its eyes away and then it moved, lunging at John and Elizabeth, deeming them to be the easier targets. John had enough time to get himself in front of Elizabeth, but it was Ronon that crashed into it, driving them both to the ground. They wrestled for a minute before the Satedan reared back, his large hands on either side of the alien's head. Nobody in the room could keep from flinching as he snapped its neck, letting the copy crumple lifelessly back to the floor.
“Damn,” John whispered.
“You can say that again,” Cadman agreed. “That's all of them right? There aren't any more hiding around here?”
Lorne frowned. “We had a fake Sheppard, fake me, and fake Ronon. So we must have picked them up on the last off-world trip. But that would mean...”
“There should have been a fake Rodney,” John finished.
“And yet there wasn’t,” Rodney said, walking into the room. He frowned. “I’m actually thinking about developing a complex.” He stopped, pointing down at the dead copy of Ronon. “That’s disturbing.”
“How do we know you’re you?” Laura pressed. Evan shifted himself in front of her slightly, tightening his hold on the bat. “Maybe you’re just better at hiding it.”
“Since when have I been better at hiding anything?” he asked. “Trust me, I didn’t get body snatched.”
“We’ve still only got your word though -”
Ronon rushed forward, ripping the bat out of Evan’s hand and charging Rodney with it. The scientist squealed in horror, raising his hands in self-defense and throwing himself down onto the ground. The bat stopped half an inch from his cowering form and Ronon smirked, letting go with one hand and offering it to McKay.
“It’s him. A copy would have tried to defend itself. Those things were all about survival.”
Rodney accepted his help to get up but quickly snatched his hand back when he was on his feet. “So you thought threatening my life was the best way to prove my identity?”
He shrugged. “Worked, didn’t it? Plus, I probably saved you from some time in the brig and being poked by Beckett.”
“He has a point, Rodney,” Elizabeth said.
“But why not you?” Laura pressed. “That doesn’t make any sense.”
“I believe I understand,” Teyla said, setting her bantos sticks back in her bag. “I do not want to offend Rodney, though.”
He waved his hands dismissively. “Whatever. Like I’m not constantly overlooked anyway.”
Everyone but John and Cadman refrained from rolling their eyes, but both Elizabeth and Teyla wore small smiles.
“They were survivors,” the Athosian explained. “That was their only purpose. To endure, it said. So they chose three strong men in positions of power.”
“Alpha males,” Elizabeth offered.
“I believe that is what you call them, yes. Taking over John, Ronon and Evan’s lives would have given them a good chance at survival. To them, taking over the life of one who studies and experiments would not be appealing. To them, it would serve no purpose.”
“That actually makes a lot of sense,” John said slowly. He glanced over at the dead copy and swallowed hard. “So, we can cross that planet off in the database, right?”
Elizabeth nodded. “Absolutely.”
“Good. Now that that’s out of the way, you’re going to see Beckett.”
“John -”
“No arguing, Elizabeth.”
“Laura and Teyla should go too,” Lorne said. “They all got attacked.”
“Ronon got here in time,” Teyla countered. “I was not harmed -”
“If you’d like, we could carry you down to the infirmary,” Ronon offered.
John and Evan both looked like they were okay with that suggestion, prompting the women to raise their flag of defeat. They followed them out of the sparring room until Rodney was the only one left. He stared at the dead copy of Ronon for a minute and then seemed to realize that he was alone with the body. With an exaggerated shudder, he turned and left the room.
~~~~
“You wanted to see me, Colonel?”
John looked up from his computer to see a very pregnant Laura Cadman standing in his doorway. He missed having the spunky lieutenant out in the field, and he knew that her team did as well. Not for the first time, he realized that some sort of childcare system was going to have to be set up soon. All three women needed to get back to work eventually, and the idea that there wouldn’t be more pregnancies in Atlantis was foolish. John wasn’t normally one to quote movies, but Jeff Goldblum had really nailed it in Jurassic Park - life finds a way. Better that they get on board with that now.
He inwardly shook his head. That wasn’t why he called Cadman to his office. What he needed to talk to her about was much more pressing.
“You should shut the door,” he warned.
“Am I in trouble, sir?”
“Not professionally.”
“I'm not sure I understand.”
John leaned back in his chair, tossing his stylus onto the desk. Not for the first time, he wondered if this was a mistake. Elizabeth had told him to mind his own business, but at the same time, he had seen the worry in her eyes. She knew just as well as he did that something needed to change between Cadman and Lorne before they were both hurt too much to come back from it. He would have much rather had Elizabeth do the talking, but both she and Teyla had told him about Cadman's innate ability to brush things off and get herself out of conversations she didn't want to have. As her CO, he had a better chance of holding her attention, or at least keeping her in a room long enough to get his point across.
He still didn't want to start yelling at a pregnant woman that he considered a friend, though.
“You and Major Lorne.”
Her entire body tensed and John struggled to keep his face passive. Laura's temper was something of a legend, especially since she had gotten pregnant.
“You said this wasn't professional, sir,” she said coldly, not making eye contact.
John frowned, not understanding at first. He replayed what he had said in his head and his eyes widened slightly.
“It's not,” he assured her. “We're cut off from Earth, Lieutenant, and even if we weren't, I trust you and Lorne enough to keep your heads on straight. Not to mention the fact that I'm breaking quite a few rules myself.”
She relaxed slightly, sending him a small smile. “You and Dr. Weir fit, though. The bastards in the IOA would be making a mistake if they separated you.”
“Well, let's just hope that we don't have to face them anytime soon.” He realized that he was almost saying he wished that they would remain cut off from Earth, and he wasn't sure how he felt about that. Regardless, he didn't have time to deal with it at the moment. “Anyway. Back to you and Lorne.”
“Yes, sir?”
Ever since he had met her, Elizabeth had been trying to teach him about tact and diplomacy. It wasn't that he thought they were useless – he was just naturally bad at all of that. Not to mention the fact that a lot of times in the field, it was easier to shoot first and then ask questions later. He had gotten better since coming to Atlantis – he knew she'd be really mad at him if he came back from every new world having sparked an interplanetary incident – but that didn't change the fact that he still wasn't good at it.
He and Cadman weren't that different from each other. He had seen her record. Her performance was outstanding. The most common complaint was that she couldn't keep her opinions to herself – apparently, when she thought someone was being an idiot, she had a hard time not pointing that out, regardless of their rank. It was something he could identify with.
Elizabeth would have gone the diplomatic route here. John was just going to go for it and pray for the best.
“You're breaking his heart, Laura.”
She looked as though she'd been punched, and John almost winced. “Sir?”
He leaned forward. “Look, you and I aren't ones to usually bullshit. So I'm just gonna throw this out there, okay?”
Laura nodded.
“He's in love with you. I'm not really sure when that happened, but it's true. And he loves that baby, even though he hasn't met the munchkin yet.” He couldn't help but smile – he knew exactly how Lorne felt on that one. “But you're not giving him any room to maneuver in. You show up, you...well, you know...and then you're gone again. That's not exactly fair.”
He had expected her to get angry. He had expected her to tell him that this was none of his business and to rigidly ask to be excused. Instead, she seemed to shrink in the chair, her face going pale and her eyes watering.
“He told you?” she asked in a small voice.
“Yeah, he told me. Poor guy needed a friend.” He paused. “I don't know how you feel about him. I don't know if you just chose him because he was there, or because you didn't want to die. And honestly, I'm not gonna judge you either way. We can try, but the truth is...nobody but Elizabeth and Teyla can understand how hard it was. And I get that. I do. But...you can't use him like he doesn't have any feelings, either. That's not right, and...and you're better than that, Cadman. He won't ask you for anything, even though he wants it all with you. And he'll do anything you ask him to do, even if you won't give him anything in return. He's a good man. He deserves...well, he deserves your honesty, if nothing else.”
It had been a long time since he had said so much in one go, and he fell silent, wondering if he had said enough, or if he had gone too far. With a sinking feeling in his stomach, he realized that two tears had fallen onto Cadman's cheeks, and she was pressing both hands to her tummy. He had made a pregnant woman cry – he wasn't sure if Elizabeth or Teyla was going to kill him first.
“I thought I was doing the best thing for him,” she said quietly. “I thought I was giving him his freedom.”
John frowned. “I'm pretty sure he just wants you and your baby.”
Laura looked down at one of her hands and he wondered what she was thinking about or remembering. After a minute, she slowly closed her fist and nodded, pushing herself to her feet.
“Can I be dismissed, sir?”
“I guess that depends on where you're going.”
“Carson mentioned that Evan likes to paint in one of the empty bays when he's not on duty. I thought I'd go see him.”
John leaned back again and smiled. “That sounds like a good idea, Lieutenant.” She turned away, but he stopped her as she opened the door. “Cadman?”
“Yeah?”
“You love him back, don't you?”
She smirked over her shoulder at him and then walked away.
~~~~
Evan breathed deeply as he focused on the sunset in front of him. It had been a long time since he’d had the chance to paint, and he’d almost forgotten how relaxing it could be. He let his mind sink into the singular act of moving the brush across the canvas without obsessing about the finished project. It was just one stroke after another, a rhythm that most people didn’t understand and couldn’t feel. It was a part of him though, and despite the fact that he would never be great at the finished project, he could take joy and comfort just in the doing.
It had been two weeks since the incident with their copies. The bruises that had appeared on Laura’s neck still haunted him, but they were fading. He knew that he hadn’t been the one to hurt her and yet it still didn’t take away his guilt. Something wearing his face had used its looks to get close to her and then had tried to kill her. It left him wondering if she ever had nightmares where he hurt her, which in turn gave him nightmares of his own. It was a vicious cycle.
He couldn’t help but be proud of her, though. Even as pregnant as she was, she had defended herself and their baby with every ounce of strength that she had. She swung that bat like a pro, and she had saved his life as well. Laura Cadman didn’t take crap from anyone - especially not murderous alien life forms intent on hurting her baby.
“That’s beautiful.”
Her voice was quiet, but it still startled him. A splash of red extended slightly farther than it was supposed to, but he didn’t worry about it, turning instead to face her.
“Thanks.” As they always did, his eyes traveled down to her stomach. “How are you?”
Laura smiled. “Pretty good.” She placed a hand on her tummy. “A lot of kicking going on in here.”
She couldn’t miss the way his eyes lit up. His mouth opened like he wanted to ask, but something swept over his eyes and he seemed to second-guess it. Another wave of self-loathing swept over her. The colonel had been right - in an effort to keep her own heart safe, she had steadily broken down the one man who meant everything to her. Evan had given her everything she asked for, anything she needed. He had put his life on the line to save her and she had just taken it all without giving him anything in return. She may have been terrified of being honest about what she was feeling, but it was her own fault that they had come to this point. She owed him.
Reaching out, she took his free hand in hers and pressed it against her stomach. One of the reasons she had chosen to seek him out at that moment was because the baby was being especially active, and she was happy that it hadn’t changed on her way down to the bay. Lorne’s face exploded into a huge smile as he felt his child kick against his hand and he sniffled, blinking back tears. Laura kept her hand pressed over his, her heart swelling and breaking at the same time.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” she whispered, her own tears slipping out.
It wasn’t what she had planned on opening with. She had spent the whole walk down to the bay trying to figure out to explain to Evan why she had treated him the way she had. She wanted to apologize. She wanted to tell him how he made her feel. She wanted to ask him to forgive her. To stay with her. To want her. But now that she was standing there with the baby kicking and his eyes boring into her like that, the only thing she wanted to do was kiss him.
“I know,” he said softly, surprising her. He swallowed roughly and blinked, his hand twitching against her. “It’s okay, though,” he continued, his voice thicker. “It doesn’t change the fact that I’ll still take care of you and the baby. You don’t have to want me. Just please...please don’t shut me out of your life, Laura. Please.”
She blinked at him. He wasn’t making any sense -
You don’t have to want me.
He thought she was just using him, that she didn’t want to be with him. He was standing there, offering her his entire world, everything he had, and he thought she was saying that she didn’t want to be with him.
It was all too much for her. The tightening in her chest threatened to leave her without any air at all. A small cry escaped her and she reached up for his face, pulling his mouth down to hers. The kiss was different from the desperate and needy ones she usually initiated - this time she kept it soft and slow, holding him to her until he dropped the paintbrush and pressed both hands to her hips.
“I did this all wrong,” she murmured when she pulled back. She ran a hand across his brow and sighed. “I’m usually good about being upfront about what I want. But you...you scare the shit out of me, flyboy.”
Evan frowned, still unsure of what was going on or being said. “I’m sorry -”
Laura shook her head. “I’m the only one who should be apologizing here. I was a coward and that’s how we ended up here. So I’m just going to do what I do best - blurt out exactly what I’m thinking.” He smiled a little at that. “I’m glad it was you that saved my life after the tea with Sulara. I had no idea what I was going to do and I kept trying to come up with someone I could just have meaningless sex with and my options were not looking good. And then you kissed me, and...I liked you, Lorne. Before all of this happened. I just thought it was a silly crush, but then we made a baby, and...” She took a deep breath. “I didn’t want to be your right thing.”
Emotions were flying across his face in record time, but confusion was what finally settled there. “What do you mean?”
“You’re a good man. One of the best. And I knew that you were going to feel obligated - to me, to the baby. And I know that you love this baby. I know that you’re going to be a great dad. I just didn’t want...I didn’t want you to think you had to be with me because it was the right thing to do. I wanted you to be free to choose.”
He squeezed her hips and the gesture was oddly comforting. “I never felt trapped, Laura. I never spent a single second with you that I didn’t want to.” He blushed slightly. “I didn’t sleep with you the first time just because I wanted to save your life. I wanted you. Still do, if you’re willing to have me- ”
She kissed him again. And again. By the third time he had caught on as well, grinning as he kissed her back. His painting and his guilt forgotten, he traced her jaw with his mouth, skimming along the skin until his lips were pressed against her throat.
“Carson said we can find out the gender tomorrow,” she said, her fingers digging into his shoulders as she clung to him. “I don’t know about you, but I think I wanna know...”
Evan pulled away and nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I wanna know.”
“So you’ll come with me?”
He tangled one hand in her hair and kissed her hard. “Yes,” he murmured against her lips.
~~~~
“Sorry I’m late, Carson,” Laura said to the doctor’s back as she stepped into the exam room.
He waved her off. “You’re right on time, dear. My last -” He stopped as he turned around, his face blossoming into a smile when he realized that Lorne was with her. “Major. It’s a pleasant surprise to see you here.”
Laura was holding his hand tightly and she blushed a little. “You said we could find out the gender...”
Carson was still grinning like a fool. “Yes, yes. Of course. Let’s get you on the table, shall we?”
Evan helped her up and then his hand was right back in hers. Carson couldn’t wipe the smile from his face; Laura had always come to these appointments alone. He had asked her about it once, but her stubbornness was impressive and eventually he had just thrown his hands up, muttering under his breath.
They seemed to be okay now.
“This will be a bit cold,” he warned.
“Always is,” she muttered.
Despite expecting it, she still flinched a little when the gel hit the bare skin of her stomach. She soon forgot the discomfort though, because she could see the baby on the screen of the ultrasound, and her grip on Evan tightened.
“Ah, there we go,” Carson said. “You can see the wee little one right there -” He stopped, frowning. “Oh my.”
“What?” Evan asked sharply.
He looked up to face them, wincing slightly. “Laura, my dear, it would appear that you’re having two babies.”
Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open. “Twins?”
“Aye. Looks like two boys.”
She turned to look up at Lorne, but he had a goofy smile on his face as he stared at the screen. The idea of taking care of one baby was terrifying enough for Laura, but two of them...she wasn’t sure she could do this.
“Evan...”
He smiled down at her and then kissed her softly, brushing the hair away from her face. “Twins,” he whispered.
It was stupid, but suddenly she didn’t feel so afraid anymore. Despite all the help that Evan had been offering since day one, Laura had still convinced herself that she would be doing this alone. That was huge, and at times it had paralyzed her. She wasn’t alone, though. She never had been. And if Evan wasn’t freaking out, then maybe she didn’t need to either.
“Twins,” she echoed, surprised to find that she was smiling, too.
Evan nodded and then laughed. “Sheppard’s gonna be pissed.”
“Why? Because you managed to make two babies and he only made one?”
He shook his head. “Ronon and Teyla are having a boy, too. Which means his little girl is gonna grow up surrounded by three boys.”
Carson rolled his eyes. “Oh dear Lord.”
Evan looked at Laura like Christmas had come early. “You’ll let me tell him, right?”
She couldn’t help but laugh. “Sure, flyboy. If that’ll make you happy.”
He kissed her again. “This pretty much all makes me happy,” he whispered.
~~~~
John couldn’t sleep. There was no nagging guilt or nightmares plaguing him - both of which he was used to - just normal thoughts.
He turned over and let his eyes rest on Elizabeth. These days she could only sleep on her back and he knew that it was wearing on her. She preferred to be curled up on her side, nestled against him. More than once she had shot a reproachful glare at her bulging stomach, but he usually just chuckled and kissed her. Soon enough they would both have trouble sleeping for another reason.
He reached out slowly, gently resting his hand on her stomach. His little girl was definitely moving around in there and his chest tightened in fear and excitement. After he and Nancy had split, he simply assumed that he wasn’t ever going to have children. And once he got to Atlantis…well, the Pegasus Galaxy wasn’t exactly a family-friendly environment.
Elizabeth had come as a complete surprise. He had a job to do in Atlantis, a city and a population to protect. He could admit that he loved the adventure of it all, too – going to different planets and meeting new people. Spaceships and alien races, sieges and fighting to stay alive…all of that he had expected. Falling in love with his boss hadn’t been on the menu. He had tried to ignore it at first. There was a limited female population in the city and Elizabeth just happened to be one of the very attractive ones that he got along well with. Of course, that argument went out the door when he factored Teyla into the equation, since she fit the bill, too. Eventually, he had no other choice but to accept that he had fallen head over heels in love with Elizabeth.
His eyes traveled up until they rested on her face and his chest impossibly tightened again. She had believed in him from day one. Even when he managed to spark an interplanetary incident, she still stood by him. She seemed to have a sixth sense when it came to his team, sending in backup long before anyone else would have. She defended him to the brass back on Earth and had even managed to get him promoted when they would rather have taken the command out of his hands. He would give anything not to let her down.
John realized it was that thought that was keeping him awake. Soon, he and Elizabeth were going to have their daughter with him, and a whole new host of problems would crop up. He’d have the city to worry about, as well as the woman he loved and now there was a little one that he was going to have to keep safe. What if he couldn’t do it? What if he screwed up and something happened to one or both of them?
It wasn’t just physical dangers he was worried about, either. He wasn’t good at relationships. He still couldn’t believe that Elizabeth loved him enough to put up with him on a daily basis. He had already failed as a husband once – what if he failed again? What if she decided that he wasn’t worth it and walked away? What if she took their daughter away?
John shook his head and sat up, swinging his legs off the bed until his feet hit the floor. He was feeling sick to his stomach now, and he let his head fall into his hands. Elizabeth was only a few days from giving birth and suddenly, he wasn’t sure he could do this.
“John?”
His head snapped up to see Elizabeth coming awake, frowning at him in the darkness. “Go back to sleep, ‘Lizabeth,” he whispered.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
She gave him that look and then heaved herself out of bed. Rubbing at one shoulder absently, she walked around until she was on his side and then sat down next to him. She ran her fingers through his short hair, her eyes searching his for a long time. He felt completely bare under her scrutiny, but it was a feeling he’d become familiar with over the years.
“You might as well talk to me. With the way this little girl is kicking, I won’t be going back to sleep anytime soon.”
John looked down at her stomach and breathed deeply. “You ever feel like you’re on a train that’s racing out of control?”
“Almost every day. The perks of leadership.” She followed his gaze. “This has all happened pretty fast, huh?”
He nodded. “She’s gonna be here soon. Like, really soon.”
“Yes, she is.” Elizabeth paused, biting at her bottom lip. “I know this has been crazy. We pretty much went from friends to parents-to-be, living together, in less than a week’s time. If this…if it’s too much for you…if you need a break…tell me now.”
His eyes shot up to hers. “You think I want out?”
“I can see the fear in your eyes, John –“
“You’re damn right! I’m terrified, Elizabeth. We’re having a baby. What if I can’t protect her? What if I can’t protect you? What if I just suck at the whole fatherhood thing? I didn’t exactly have the best role model, you know.” He paused, staring at her in disbelief. “How can you be so calm about this?”
“I trust you.” She leaned in and kissed him softly. “You told me that you love me, John. Out on the balcony. Did you mean it?”
He cupped her face in his hands. “I did. I still do.”
“Then we’ll be okay. Things won’t be easy – we both know that. We have to learn to juggle the life-sucking aliens with the everyday things like changing diapers and discipline. But we’ll just take it day by day. I’m not asking you to marry me or to have more kids –“
“But I want those things.”
Elizabeth stopped. “What?”
“That’s what’s so damn scary. I thought I was pretty comfortable with the idea that I’d never have a family. Once I got here, I was even pretty sure that I’d die young in some fiery gun battle or shipwreck. But now…I wanna marry you. I wanna have more kids. I wanna meet our little girl. And I don’t…” He swallowed roughly. “I don’t wanna fuck this up, ‘Lizabeth.”
She held his face tightly so that he couldn’t look away. “You listen to me, John Sheppard. You are a good man. An amazing man. And I have never once regretted putting my faith in you. Not professionally, and not personally. You are so much better than you give yourself credit for. I love you, and our daughter is going to love you. I can promise you that.”
A tear fell onto his cheek and she leaned forward, catching it with her lips. That only made more tears fall but John maneuvered his mouth until he could kiss her, needing her to understand the things he couldn’t say. She did though, just like she always had.
“More kids, huh?” she asked once they had pulled back for air.
He nodded. “Well they’re just so much fun to make. Plus, there’s all the practice time in between.”
Her mouth twitched. “Practice does make perfect.”
John grinned at her, the knot in his chest already smaller. “Exactly. Just wait until Carson clears you medically after Isabelle is here.”
Elizabeth smiled. “Isabelle? That’s the one you like?”
“You’re still good with it, right?”
She nodded and then looked down at her stomach. “Isabelle. I think it’s perfect.”
John kissed the top of her head and held her against him. They sat for a long minute until he realized something.
“You didn’t answer me.”
“Hmm? About what?”
“About the marrying thing.”
Elizabeth looked up at him. “I thought you meant you might want to some day. You want to marry me now?”
“Ring’s in the drawer,” he said quietly. “I’ve had it since we found out we were having a girl.” He paused. “It can wait. If you’re not –“
She kissed him softly. “Yes.”
A grin erupted on his face. “Yes?”
She nodded. “Yes.” She kissed him again. “A million times, yes.”
~~~~
John leaned back in the chair, watching Elizabeth as she did paperwork. It felt like this was how he spent most of his time now, just watching and waiting. Every time she went to send his team on a mission, he talked her out of it, citing any number of reasons that they shouldn’t go just yet. They both knew what he was doing. Her due date was too close for him to seriously consider going off-world. He had a penchant for getting shot at and captured, and he wasn’t sure either of them could handle that right now.
Elizabeth had one hell of a poker face, but he could still see when a contraction hit. She was obviously trying to ignore them. He had learned early on that sometimes it was easier not to argue with her. Instead, he made sure to keep track of the contractions and let her just continue through her day as though she weren’t nine months pregnant.
As he watched her jaw clench, though, and snuck a look at his watch, he realized that the time for being quiet had passed. Looking down at his tablet, he sent a quick email and then looked up at her.
“You think maybe it’s time to head down to the infirmary?”
Elizabeth didn’t even look up. She just waved him off and continued to read her reports. “I’m fine, John. She won’t be here for another week at least.”
“You know that those due dates Carson gave are just guidelines really, right? I mean, if Bella’s ready to come, she’s just gonna come.”
She raised an eyebrow at that one. “Bella?”
John shrugged. “Kid’s gotta have a nickname.”
“It’s pretty,” she said warmly. “But she’s not coming yet. And until she does, I have reports to finish.”
He held his hands up. “Fair enough.”
They worked in silence for another five minutes before Carson appeared in the doorway. Elizabeth was working her way through another wave of pain and he gave her an exasperated look.
“I hear your contractions are quite close together, my dear. Don’t you think it’s time to see where we’re at?”
She immediately gave John an accusing look. “Very sneaky, Colonel.”
He shrugged. “I think you’re a little too attached to your timetable, ‘Lizabeth. Bella seems ready to come out now. And if there’s one thing I know about Weir women, it’s that once they make up their mind about something, it’s best just to go along with it.”
She was still trying to glare at him, but she couldn’t stop the smile that was growing either. “She’ll be a Sheppard, thank you very much.”
That hit him unexpectedly and he stared at her in wonder. “Are you sure?”
“Of course I’m sure.”
John was up and out of his seat in a heartbeat, leaning over the desk so that he could press a kiss to her mouth. It was short but it still left her blushing, her eyes darting between Carson and the glass walls of her office.
“You’re incorrigible,” she muttered.
“Absolutely.”
“This is all quite lovely,” Carson interjected, “but can we get you down to the infirmary now?”
Elizabeth sighed. “Fine. But when this turns out to be a false alarm, you both have to agree to let me get back to work.”
The two men shared a glance before nodding. “Alright,” Carson agreed.
“John?”
“Scout’s honor.”
“Okay then.”
She pushed herself out of her chair and John was right there, one arm wrapped around her waist. Elizabeth gave him a smile before wincing with pain again, her hand reaching out for his so that she could squeeze it. John tried to be stoic about it, but she was really hurting his hand and he gave Carson a pained look.
“I think she’s ready.”
~~~~
“Guess Bella proved you wrong,” John said gently, staring down at the baby in his arms.
“Well, her father likes to do things his own way. I guess we shouldn’t be surprised that she’s following in his footsteps.”
She was wiped out, but happy. The labor had been long and painful and she had burst into tears when she heard her daughter’s cries for the first time. John had been by her side through it all, holding her hand and pushing the hair out of her face. Words had never been his strong suit, but his constant murmurings that she was going to be alright, that she was doing great, had really kept her going. And his broken whisper of ‘I love you’ right before Bella came out had made her chest tighten in the best possible way.
And now they were all together. She reached up for John’s hand and smiled at him, her eyes fighting the sleep that was trying to drag her down.
“I love you,” she said quietly.
“I love you back,” he whispered. Leaning down, he kissed her forehead. “Get some sleep, ‘Lizabeth. Me and Bella will be here when you wake up.”
“Promise?”
“Cross my heart.”
She fell into a warm, dreamless sleep.
~~~~
Teyla watched Ronon as he slept, fighting back the urge to trace his features with her finger. He had stayed with her most nights during her pregnancy, even after the point where she no longer wanted to have sex, and she found that she was incredibly grateful for his presence. She had always felt a close kinship with the Satedan – whether it was because they were both outsiders in Atlantis, or just their natures in general – and he had honestly been the only one she wanted in her bed after finding out about the pregnancy.
Her feelings for him had since grown deeper. Ronon was a strong man and he had taken good care of her. It was more than that, of course. They had spent so much time together over the past nine months and though he had shown no outward interest in the details of the baby, there were times when she would catch him staring at her stomach. She could see the fear there – the terror that she understood was keeping him from getting fully invested in this – but she could also see the wonder. She hoped that Ronon would come to see that he was an integral part of this little family, that she believed in him even if he didn’t believe in himself.
Pushing herself out of bed carefully, she made her way into the bathroom. Her contractions were growing closer and closer together and she knew that it was almost time. She kept track of them, just like Dr. Beckett had instructed her to. Even without the record-keeping, though, she knew that her son would be here within the next couple of days. Everything in her body was telling her that it was ready, and the baby seemed eager to come out into the world.
Another contraction moved through her as she stood at the sink, and she realized that the timetable might be shorter than even she realized. They were only a few minutes apart now, and the pain was becoming more intense. When it faded and she was left out of breath, leaning against the counter, she knew that there would be no more sleep for her that night.
“Ronon?” she called.
He was awake in an instant, moving toward the bathroom. “You okay?”
“I think it is time that you took me down to the infirmary. Our son seems intent on arriving tonight.”
“I’ll call Beckett.”
“Tell him that I wish to walk down myself. He does not need to send a gurney or a nurse. We will meet him down there.”
“You sure?”
“Yes.”
He nodded once and radioed Beckett. Then he gave Teyla his arm and they began their slow walk down to the infirmary. The hallways were quiet at that time of night and the two of them didn’t speak. Occasionally Teyla would need to stop as the pain of the contraction swept through her and Ronon would watch her, helpless to take any of it away. When it had passed, though, she would squeeze his arm and smile up at him and they would continue on.
When they finally made it down to the infirmary, they found that their friends were already down there waiting for him. Laura looked like she was about ready to burst, Evan sitting beside her, and Elizabeth stood nearby, holding Isabelle as John paced. Teyla smiled when she saw them all – it felt good to have the love and support of so many.
“Ah, there you are,” Carson said as he came out into the waiting room. “I was about ready to send someone after you.”
“My apologies, Carson. I seem to be moving a bit slower these days.”
“I should hope so – sometimes I’m convinced you three think you’re invincible! How far apart are the contractions?”
“Only a couple of minutes now.”
“Then let’s get you in and take a look.” He came to her to her side and took her arm, but he stopped when Ronon didn’t follow. “Are you coming, lad?”
The big man shook his head. “I’ll be here.”
His words hurt, but Teyla tried not to let it show. “I would like for you to be there, Ronon.”
“It’s better if I’m not.”
She gave him a tight smile even though she felt like crying. “Of course. It is your choice.”
Elizabeth handed Isabelle over to John carefully. “I’ll come with you, if that’s alright.”
“Your company would be very much appreciated, Elizabeth,” she replied, taking the other woman’s hand.
John stared after them in disbelief before turning to Ronon. His friend was already walking away though, his shoulders slumped and his hands clenched into fists. He couldn’t believe that he was just leaving like that, abandoning Teyla –
“Lorne –“
The major stood up and reached out for Isabelle, holding her carefully against his chest. “I’ve got her, sir. Go.”
John didn't stop to think. He spun on his heel and stomped down the hall after Ronon, anger clouding any common sense that he might have had. The big man may have been one of his closest friends, but at the moment he was being a bastard, and John had every intention of telling him so - and maybe he would try to beat some sense into him while he was at it, size difference be damned.
He caught up with him much further down the hall, far out of earshot from the infirmary. Without any warning, he seized his friend by the shoulder, turned him around and slammed him up against the nearest wall.
"What the HELL is wrong with you?" he demanded, his expression furious and his voice dangerously low.
Ronon didn't even fight back, which told him more than words ever could. His head hung low and his jaw was tense, but he let John keep him pinned to the wall.
"I shouldn't be here," he said.
"Shouldn't be..." John couldn't even finish the sentence. "The ONLY place you should be is in that infirmary holding Teyla's hand. She's having YOUR baby, remember?"
Ronon shook his head. "They're both better off without me."
He stared at him in disbelief. "My God...that's your SON being born in there!"
Fire finally flared in Ronon's eyes and he met John's stare fiercely. "That's right. MY son. And I don't want him to be anything like me. I was more than willing to save Teyla's life, Sheppard, but I'll only make things worse if I stay in their life."
Some of the anger faded out of him and his grip loosened a little. "What?"
Ronon swallowed hard. "Look at what happens to the people I care about." He sighed, shaking his head. "Look at ME. Look at the life I've lived. I don't want that for my son. Teyla's a good person. She might be the best person I've ever known. She'll do a great job raising him. They don't need me making things difficult." He dropped his gaze again. "I don't want to disappoint Teyla."
Understanding flooded through John and he realized that he was staring at a man who was at a point he had once known well. Letting go of him, he took a small step back.
"The only way you'll disappoint her is you don't get to know your kid. You didn't just save her life - she CHOSE you. And like you said, Teyla's one of the best people around. So her choosing you means something."
Ronon's shoulders slumped, and John realized he had never seen his friend look so defeated before.
"I don't know how to do this," he admitted, his voice almost too deep to hear.
"None of us do," John replied. "But you've got a damn good woman in there about to go through a very painful and emotional experience. Are you really gonna let her do that alone?" He paused. "C'mon, man. She's asking for you."
That made his head come back up. He searched John's eyes as though searching for the truth, and when he found it, he nodded. Without another word, he started heading back towards the infirmary, John close behind him.
Lorne and Cadman were still sitting just outside, though now Laura was pacing nervously. They both stopped and looked up when Ronon came through, Lorne nodding at him in approval. He just moved past them and into the infirmary, heading for the curtain that had been pulled around Teyla.
He found her inside, Elizabeth sitting next to her and holding her hand. Stopping just inside the curtain he watched them, suddenly unsure of what to do. Teyla saw him first and smiled, her eyes weary, but warm.
"Ronon," she greeted, relief evident in her voice. "I am glad you're here."
Elizabeth smiled as well, nodding for him to come take her place. He stepped forward, gingerly taking Teyla's hand as the other woman headed out.
"I'll be right outside if you need anything," she promised. "Good luck."
"Thank you, Elizabeth." She waited until she was gone, and then she turned her attention back to Ronon. "Carson says it might be a long while until the baby is here."
He nodded, still feeling painfully awkward. "I'm not very good at this."
"You are doing fine," she assured him.
"I don't want him to be like me," he blurted, tensing slightly as the words came tumbling out.
Teyla didn't hesitate. "Really? Because I would like him to be much like you."
He frowned - she knew his story better than anyone. "How could -"
"I do not wish your history upon him," she clarified. "You have lived a difficult life, Ronon, and though you came out stronger, there are many that would have been destroyed by it. But I want him to have your strength. Your honor. Your sense of loyalty. You are a good man, and I want us to raise our son to be the same."
For the first time since he had found out she was having a boy, Ronon felt himself relax slightly. There was peace and assurance in her eyes, and it painted over his own doubts and fears. Settling down on the chair next to the bed, he watched as she rode out a contraction, her face contorting and her grip on him tightening.
"Does it hurt?" he asked, suddenly feeling stupid and useless.
She gave him a weak smile. "Yes. Much more than being shot, even. But I think he will be worth it."
“Have you thought of a name yet?”
“Yes. I believe I like Mykal, for your brother.”
The big man swallowed roughly, staring down at her in awe. “You don’t have to do that.”
“I know. But I want to.”
He continued to stare at her for a long minute. “You’re sure you want to do this with me?”
“I have never once doubted it.”
She said it with such calm assurance and conviction. Ronon leaned forward and kissed her softly, squeezing her hand.
~~~~
Laura wandered into the lab, trying to keep herself from sighing yet again. She felt like she was doing that a lot lately; she was just so bored. Her due date was only about a week away and there was nothing in Atlantis for her to do except wait. She understood that she couldn’t go off-world with her team – the very thought of trying to fit in one of those puddle jumper seats made her cringe – but there had to be something she could do. It didn’t help that her expertise was explosives, and those were most definitely out of bounds while she was pregnant. Sometimes she wondered if Lorne was ever going to let her play with them again, since she was the mother of his children. She foresaw a lot of arguments about that in their future.
“Wow.”
She turned around to see Rodney standing there, his eyes wide and glued to her stomach.
“You got a problem, McKay?” she asked, crossing her arms over her chest.
“You just…I mean, Zelenka mentioned that you were big, but I haven’t seen you in a few days and wow.”
“Right. Well how about you carry twins and we’ll see if you can keep your girlish figure?”
“What? Oh. Hardy-har.” He rolled his eyes. “What are you doing down here anyway? Don’t you have something to do? Reading a mothering book or decorating a nursery?”
“I gotta say, McKay. Your way with women just astounds me.”
“Seriously, I have important work to do. Don’t you have an elsewhere to be?”
“If I did, I wouldn’t be down here.” She finally let the sigh out. “C’mon, McKay. I’m bored. Nobody will let me do anything!”
“Like what? Blow up an alien spaceship?”
She froze, thinking that over. “That would be so cool right now.”
“And it’s so not gonna happen! Even with Lorne off-world, he’s got every soldier in the city keeping an eye on you.”
That brought her up short. “Excuse me?”
“Oh please, like you didn’t know?” Rodney stopped, frowning at her. “You didn’t know? I mean, it’s not that surprising. Elizabeth’s been at the top of their priority list since day one – I actually heard Sheppard threaten a Marine once because he didn’t keep an eye on her – but since you three got pregnant, the orders extended to you and Teyla. Apparently carrying a child trumps everything else, which I really don’t understand –“
“Big shocker there. Rodney McKay still thinks he’s the center of the universe.”
“Now that’s just ridiculous. Scientifically speaking –“
Laura didn’t hear anything else he said. She’d been having contractions here and there for about a week now, but this one was strong enough to bend her forward slightly. She caught the edge of the table and leaned on it, pressing her other hand to her stomach. Rodney continued to ramble on as she rode out the pain, which really didn’t surprise her in the least. As the pain subsided she took a deep breath and tried to straighten up again. Her eyes locked on something on the floor though, and all the air came rushing out of her lungs.
“McKay.”
He either didn’t hear her or didn’t deem her interruption important enough.
“McKay.”
“I just think that if the scientific department was a little more appreciated…”
“RODNEY!”
The use of his first name finally made him stop. “What?”
“Did Evan happen to give you any of these threatening speeches?”
“He did, actually. It was quite unpleasant and barbaric –“
“Good.”
“What? Why good?”
She pointed to the puddle on the floor beneath her. “Because my water just broke and he’s off-world. Which means you get to take me to the infirmary.”
He stared at the floor. “Like hell I am. The infirmary is coming to you.” He fumbled for his radio. “Carson, we need a gurney NOW. Cadman is having her baby and she’s making a mess in my lab and you need to get up here right now!”
Laura rolled her eyes. “Such a gentleman, McKay.”
“This is about as good as it gets,” he admitted.
She couldn’t help but be impressed by the speed with which Carson and a couple of nurses got to Rodney’s lab. Another contraction had already begun to kick in, and though she wasn’t timing them, she knew it couldn’t have been more than a few minutes between them. Apparently her boys were ready to come, and they weren’t going to take their time about it.
Once Carson was there though and giving her that reassuring smile of his, she felt better. She wanted Lorne there – wanted him there more than anything she’d ever wanted before – but she knew that she was in the safest hands possible. Carson and his team got her up onto the gurney and strapped in without a hitch.
“Coming, Rodney?” the doctor asked as they began to wheel her away.
“Of course not!”
Carson stopped and turned to look at him. “Really? You’re going to tell Major Lorne that you abandoned the woman he loves as she was about to give birth to his children? That seems uncharacteristically brave of you.”
“What? She’s got you! She doesn’t need me!”
“True. But you were here when the labor started. The Major might think you had an obligation to see this thing through. Of course, he’s a rational man. I’m sure he’ll understand.”
“Well,” Laura hedged. “He’s not completely rational when it comes to the babies.”
“Or to you, my dear,” Carson reminded her. “Oh well. Do let us know when the Major gets back to Atlantis, Rodney.”
They were almost out of the lab when Rodney came barreling through, stopping when he was next to Laura.
“Just don’t ask me to do any of that weird labor breathing stuff.”
She was in the midst of riding out another contraction and glared up at him as she took his hand. “Just hold my hand and shut up, McKay.”
He nodded. “Right. Piece of cake.”
~~~~
“You had them without me?”
Laura looked up to see Evan walking into the room, muddied and tired, but with an insane grin on his face. He slipped off vest and gun belt, leaving them by the door before crossing the room to stand at her bedside. She had both babies in her arms and she was exhausted, but she felt right. The people that meant the most to her in two galaxies were with her and everyone was okay.
“Hey, guys,” Evan murmured.
Laura gave him a concerned look. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” he said, waving her worry off. “We ended up hiding in a ditch for a little bit. Nothing to worry about.” He reached out and ran a finger along each boy’s forehead. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t here.”
She shook her head. “It’s okay. You’re here now.” She smiled down at the babies. “Luke, Aaron, this is your daddy.”
“Hi, Luke,” he said, kissing the top of his head. “Hi, Aaron.” He did the same thing with his other son. “They’re beautiful.” He raised his eyes to Laura’s, surprised to see them filled with tears. “You’re amazing.”
He perched himself on the edge of the bed and kissed her softly. They stayed like that for a long time, never taking it any deeper, just enjoying the contact. When they finally pulled back, he placed one last kiss on her forehead.
“How bad was it?”
“Easily the hardest thing I’ve ever done.” She shifted Luke in her arms. “You wanna hold him?
”
Evan’s eyes lit up. “Yeah.”
He took him from her arms and cradled him against his chest, making sure that the blanket rested between the baby and his muddy shirt. Luke stared up at him with wide eyes, not making a sound.
“I really wish I coulda been here,” he said quietly.
Laura shrugged, moving Aaron to a more comfortable position. “It’s okay. I had McKay.”
His eyebrows shot up and he dragged his attention away from his son. “McKay?”
“He was with me when I went into labor and Carson convinced him that you would kill him if he didn’t stay with me through the whole thing.”
Evan chuckled in disbelief. “Well that explains that, then.”
“Explains what?”
“When I came back through the Stargate, McKay was there. He clapped me on the shoulder and glared at me before saying ‘You’re welcome’ and muttering under his breath as he walked away. I couldn’t figure out what the hell he was talking about.”
“Yeah, well, I did a number on his hand, so you might want to actually thank him later.”
“I will.”
They sat quietly for a long time. No one came in to bother them and the little family enjoyed the peace, getting acquainted with the newest members and being thankful that everyone had come through safely. Somewhere along the line, they switched babies so that both of the boys could meet their father. They might have been twins, but there were subtle differences in their faces and Evan traced them all out with his eyes, just as Laura had done when they’d been handed to her after the birth. He wanted to know everything about them, to never leave them ever again. He knew that that wasn’t possible; he still had a job to do, on top of being a father. But for now it was just enough to be there with them and Laura.
“Hey flyboy.”
He looked up to see her lying back against the pillows, a small smile on her face. “Yeah?”
“I love you.”
Something caught in his chest and he couldn’t breathe. Feeling the tremor moving across his bottom lip, he leaned forward and kissed her again, a little harder this time.
“I love you too,” he whispered.
“You better,” she joked. “I pushed two babies out today while you were off having fun.”
“Guess I’ll just have to make it up to you, then.”
“Trust me, flyboy,” she said, a playful smirk on her face, “you’re going to.”
He felt his neck and the tops of his ears burn, but he didn’t care. He was home.
~~~~
The cafeteria was mostly full, but Lorne found a seat next to Sheppard. He settled down into it awkwardly, his hands full with his sons.
“Cadman got you on baby duty?” Sheppard asked, finishing off his sandwich.
“She begged me to take them so she could have a long, hot shower uninterrupted. Do you mind…?”
“No. Here, pass him over.” He took Luke from the major, grateful that the couple had decided to keep one of the boys in blue and the other in green. It certainly helped the rest of the city to tell them apart. Of course, that was only until the boys got old enough to discover the mischief they could cause just by switching clothes. “It seems like they’re getting huge already.”
Lorne snorted. “Tell me about it. Where’s Bella?”
“Elizabeth’s got her. I’m supposed to go up and relieve her so that she can get some lunch soon.”
“She’s actually taking lunch breaks these days?”
“I threaten to keep Bella with me all day long if she doesn’t.”
“Nice.”
“That’s not the word she uses for it.” He nodded across the room. “Look who just walked in.”
Lorne looked up and saw Ronon and Teyla coming in, Mykal resting comfortably in his father’s arms. There were times when the Satedan still looked uncomfortable in his new role, but he was getting better, and Teyla was always there encouraging him with a warm smile.
“Glad to see he’s making progress,” Lorne commented.
“I guess none of us realized he was having trouble with the idea of fatherhood,” John replied. “Teyla’s helping him, though. And he loves that kid.”
“Does he love her?”
“I think so. I have the feeling there won’t be any grand declarations, though. They’ll just wake up one day and realize that they’re together.”
Lorne nodded – that made sense. “You’ve got your own wedding to plan.”
“I’m not planning anything,” he countered firmly. “’Lizabeth is in charge and I like it that way.” He paused. “What about you? You proposing to Cadman anytime soon?”
“Not yet. We’ve got a ways to go before we’re ready for that.”
John peered at him closely. “You’ve got the ring in your pocket, don’t you?”
“Never go anywhere without it.”
Both men laughed at that, and then Ronon and Teyla were sitting down with them, smiling in greeting.
“Is there something funny?” she asked.
Lorne shrugged. “Life.”
Teyla thought about it for a moment. “Indeed. When we first met the Torvaris, I never would have guessed that things would turn out this way.”
John grunted. “Elizabeth asked me if we should go visit Sulara, now that the babies are here.”
“She’s joking, right?” Lorne asked.
“No.”
“We should invite her here,” Ronon suggested.
“What?” John asked, surprised. “Why?”
“They didn’t mean to cause us any harm. Sulara thought she was giving our women a gift.” He shrugged. “And in a way, she did. Besides,” he added, “if she comes here, we don’t have to worry about what’s in the food.”
“Ronon is right,” Teyla agreed with a smile. “I will talk to Elizabeth about it and we will work something out.”
John grimaced. “I’m not leaving any of you alone with her.”
“Ditto,” Lorne agreed.
“I am sure we’ll find an acceptable compromise.”
Lorne sighed. “That’s her way of saying she’s getting her way isn’t it?”
Ronon nodded. “You should be used to it. Cadman doesn’t seem like the type to roll over.”
“I guess it’s the diplomacy I’m not used to. Laura just tells me I’m wrong.”
“Elizabeth prefers tact,” John offered. “Of course, she can hit you with zingers that you don’t even realize were insults until two days later.”
Teyla took a sip of her tea, her eyes dancing. “Perhaps you should just count your blessings, Colonel. That is how your people put it, is it not?”
John looked up to see Elizabeth walking towards him, their daughter in her arms. Grinning like a fool, he nodded.
“Trust me, Teyla. I am.”
Please leave feedback for this author HERE